Page 22 of Magic Hunted
“You do not sacrifice for us. We sacrifice for you. Do you understand that?” Desperation clouded his worry and he clutched me in a bruising grip. Andthat was the damned problem.
He had it so wrong. I was disposable. I wasalwaysdisposable. I learned that truth twenty years ago when my parents used me as a tool to keep the grimoire safe. How easy it had been for them. He just didn’t understand how disposable I was.
Savvas’ eyes widened, his tone tinged with disbelief. “You believe you are expendable, don’t you?”
My hands curled over his shoulders. Whether I wanted to push him away or bring him to me, I didn’t know. I just needed him to see reason. “Savvas…”
“Gods. What has happened in your life to assume that?” he whispered. His arms tightened around me. One arm stayed around my waist, while his other hand slid up my hands, his fingers threading through my hair. I’d never been held like this. As though I was…precious. Maybe even cherished, feeling all the worse for it because he had it so wrong. “Let me in, Haera. Please let me in and I’ll show you how right it can be.”
His soul-light whispered in my chest, promising me impossible things. He raked his nose along my neck, inhaling my scent, teasing me. Tempting me with dangerous needs. My hand tensed on his shoulders as I readied myself to push him away. He only held me tighter, a tremor working through his body.
“Please. Just let me hold you, my heart.” A plea. Softly spoken, yet so, so powerful. Powerful enough to obliterate any good sense I had. Powerful enough to make me want things I didn’t have a right to have.
Still I inched my arms about his neck, notching my face in the crook of his neck as though I had no will-power at all. Savvas sighed, shoulders loosening. He firmed his arms around me, moving slowly. As though he was afraid I’d shy away. But I didn’t.
I couldn’t.
The whisper of our bond sang with his relief and I couldn’t resist. My eyes fluttered closed and I sank into the most comfort I’d received since my mother’s last hug.
“That’s it. As slow as you need, my heart,” he said. His fingers slid through my hair, brushing wet strands off my face.
I’d forgotten that touch could be like this. Given honestly. Freely received without a pay-off. A drug of another sort that could easily be my downfall because it was something I had no defense against.
His heart beat beneath my chin, a soothing rhythm. Slowly my muscles relaxed, bit by bit, until I sagged in his arms. “Thank you.”
My chest heated and pressure prickled behind my eyes. He. Thankedme. For holding him. And gods, that was a kick in my chest. I was letting him in. He was getting too close.
Anger, hate, loathing, I knew how to fight. But Savvas was sneaking through with kindness and I was lost.
Too late I realized my mistake because now Iknewwhat I was going to miss out on.
“You don’t want me, Savvas. I’m not a good person.” Truth. This had gone too far. It was time to tell him one secret he needed to know to help him understand this had to stop before it became anything more.
That ingrained longing within me lifted its head. The part of me that yearned for unobtainable and undeserved love urged me to keep my secret. To accept what he offered because it was so damn good.
“Where did that come from?” he said.
I inhaled his scent because I was greedy and I wanted one last taste before I destroyed everything. “Maybe if you understood the truth about me, you’ll see why we can’t bond.”
Chapter Twelve
I looked up into his face because I deserved to see the hatred that would eventually twist his gorgeous features. “Dias was right. There is a very good reason Titan embedded these slave studs into me.”
For a moment, I considered not telling him. The temptation to give into the bond was overwhelming but I was nothing if not a realist. I cleared my throat and prepared myself. “I’m Titan’s spy, Savvas. Not just any spy. I’m his prized spy. The best he has.”
A frown creased his brow and confusion entered his eyes. “We have a lot of contact with Titan and I haven’t seen you before. I know his spies.”
My brows jerked up. “The best, remember? No one sees me. I made it my business to stay in the shadows.”
“I…don’t believe it.” Savvas stopped stroking my hair and already I missed his gentle touch.
The back of my throat burned with bile. “I did everything Titan ordered me to do. I used any means possible to get the job done.”
Savvas skimmed his fingertips over the studs, his gaze dropping to the black metal. His arms tightened around me and he crushed me to his chest. “I had no idea.”
“Of course you didn’t. No one knows who or what I am,” I said.
“And what of your family? Your friends?” he asked.
