Page 73 of Protected from Malice
“Yes. But not for long. And I knew you would protect me. You and Indy and the other guys. So it wasn’t that bad.”
Eden being scared at all isn’t okay with me. But now’s not the time to get hung up on that.
“It’s not about the alarm,” I reply. “It’s?—”
Stop being a chickenshit.
I’m forty-years-old. I’ve never hesitated to say what I think.
“It’s about us.” I take a slow, steadying breath. “This thing between us.”
Eden pulls her hand back. Her teeth dig into her lower lip. “Do you regret it? Kissing me?”
“No.” It’s quick. Fierce. “No, Eden. That’s not even close to it.”
“Then what?” She pauses. “Is it Indy? Did he say something to you? I didn’t talk to him about it, if you’re wondering. I wouldn’t. Not without talking to you first. And…” Her shoulders sag. “I don’t know what I’d tell him, anyway.”
My heart wrenches.
Fuck.
Because of my cowardice, Eden’s been worrying that I had regrets about her.
“It wasn’t Indy. And I don’t regret anything we did. Not for a second.”
“Then what?”
I allow myself one more deep breath and exhale in preparation.
It’s the craziest thing. I never worried about how someone might react to my past before. I never planned to tell anyone, really. Aside from Indy and my old GB teammates, no one knows. And up until recently, I was good with that.
“I care about you, Eden. You know that, right?”
“Yes.” Her blue eyes meet mine. “Is this theI just want to be friends talk, Rafe?”
“No.” I reach over to take her hand between mine. “It’s theI want to be more than friendstalk.”
“Then why do you look unhappy about it?”
“I’m not unhappy about it. But there are things you don’t know. About me. Things you should know before you decide if you want to be with me.”
The fear in Eden’s eyes shifts to confusion. “Why wouldn’t I want to be?”
I turn so I’m mostly facing her. “Because I’m not a hero, Eden. I’ve done things?—”
“I know you had to kill people in the Army,” she interrupts. “I understand. I would never judge you for that.”
“I have. But that’s not it.” As she starts to respond, I barrel ahead. “What you saw me do at the hotel? To the man who broke in? It’s not the first time I’ve hurt someone to get information.”
Eden stares at me for a second. “Okay.” A beat. “Is that it?”
“I’m not sure you understand. I’ve hurt people. Broken bones. Threatened to kill them. Those aren’t things most people would ever consider doing.”
“But—”
“The first time was on a GB op. We found out about a guy—an enemy combatant—who had kidnapped four aid workers. We tracked him down, but the women he’d taken weren’t with him. And he refused to talk. Said he’d rather let them die.”
“Rafe.”
