Page 48 of Nearly Roadkill

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From:Jabbathehut

Subj:Connection

Stretch your 10-second brain, my little cybergnat. I noted your report as to the reluctance of people to receive the bypass codes and choose Registration instead. The fear of missing out is predominant, it guides some people’s every action. Ironic, because as they are struggling so hard to fill the blanks, they are indeed missing the far reaches of their own adventures, if they only had the courage.

Pardon my philosophical bent, perhaps you bring it out in me.

Now, I must ask: when you tell people about filling out Reg cards, do you also tell them to not put in their real birthdays? They will be snagged so fast their ears will freeze-dry. Note this, from one of my clients:

Forward msg. from XXXXXXX

Dear Jabba:

Thank you so much for helping me with the parental controls. You have no idea the number of children using their parents’ accounts. My eleven-year-old had been approached by several older men within the first few weeks of our using this online service. I’ve had to keep her completely away from the thing. I’ve Registered her, but now the system withholds many rooms from her that her mother and I have no problem with herusing. It’s either all or nothing with the Reg restrictions. But your lockout code lets my daughter use *my* account, and now she doesn’t have to bother with being assigned one of her own by the government.

Nice to have the govt choose what your kids can read. Like old-fashioned book banning.

Please be sensible, my young friend.

To:Jabbathehut

From:Toobe

Subj:Understood

I’m thinking about holding one of those workshops for teenagers (and younger? Ugh) on how to avoid perverts. You can’t have a teen room without all of them flocking.

To:Toobe

From:Jabbathehut

Subj:No, you’re not

And what would your advice be?

To:Jabbathehut

From:Toobe

Subj:Uh uh

I can’t even tell you, Jabba. With my luck (lately) the message will get intercepted and all your stupid pervert clients will find out.

To:Toobe

From:Jabbathehut

Subj:Clients

I believe I resent that remark, but do as you wish.

END TOOBE ENTRY

04HEART AND SOUL

NARRATIVE ENTRY, JABBATHEHUT

The roach slowly makes its way across Wally Budge’s desktop, looking for all the world like a miniaturized Jules Verne battle contraption. Budge shakes his head in disgust, causing the roach to stop its forward motion and neatly blend in with the coffee stain on which it hovers.