Page 27 of Nearly Roadkill

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Subj:Not gonna

Hey pal, option means option. I’m not Registering for the same reason I don’t have a driver’s license. I don’t need paper to travel around, especially on the Net. I can’t even get past the first few questions on that sign-up thing (like “Sex”) they have. I tried to fill in “Yes,” but it will only take one answer or the other. I tried to write “N” for neither but it wouldn’t take that either. Look at this #@!*&%!!&*:

Sex? (M) or (F)?

Yes

Very funny. Sex? (M) or (F)?

No

Very funny. Sex? (M) or (F)?

?

Very funny. Sex? (M) or (F)?

WHY?

Very funny. Sex? (M) or (F)?

EXIT

Very funny. Sex? (M) or (F)?

CANCEL

Very funny. Sex? (M) or (F)?

QUIT

Really want to quit the Registration Process?

NO!

Sex? (M) or (F)?

This is an invasion of privacy! What the hell does my gender matter in cyberspace?

I know you think I go in for conspiracy theories too much, and you may be right. But people who create forms don’t think about the questions they ask. This is a computer form; you can’t go to the next question unless you fill it out right. That’s scary, Toobers. I mean, there isn’t even a human to argue with.

—S.

Here’s a small part of the form. Ever since Scratch and Winc have been talking to me I can’t look at it without seeing what they mean.

Registration Information

Name:

Credit Card #:

Sex:

Social Security #:

Income Level (round off to nearest ten thousand):

Address:

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