Page 131 of Nearly Roadkill
OK, this is a hard one for me to ask you. Why do women in women-only spaces refuse to admit transsexual women?
Scratch:That answer is changing even as I speak. And this is just MY answer. You couldn’t find a more “it depends on who you ask and what space it is” question if you tried. First of all, I’ve never “refused to admit transsexual women.” In fact it was my discomfort with the whole thing that made me actually talk to transsexual women. I felt so protective of my new lesbian space that I thought that’s all who should be allowed. Until I thought for a minute. Then someone tried signs that said “women only,” but there are obnoxious dykes who sure could ruin the vibe so I couldn’t really stick with that. Before any of us actually talked to a real live transsexual woman, it was this vague fear of being overtaken by“maleness.” But also? There are many “women-only” spaces that *do* admit transsexuals. It’s the ones that don’t that get all the attention.
The best tip I got was from a transsexual woman who said, “why not just put ‘no transsexuals’ on your fliers?” I was all offended and then realized she was right. By saying “women only,” we really were trying to make a policy about being exclusive. At one event someone came up with, “if you can put your dick in a drawer, and slam that drawer, then you are welcome.” But that was directed only at transsexuals who hadn’t had surgery, which not everyone wants or can afford. All that made me realize how stupid it was. I mean, if you want such an exclusive club, just create a private party and invite whoever you want. Don’t plaster it all over fliers.
Winc:First good answer to that question I’ve ever gotten. Thanks.
Okay next… I know that no sexuality is pure. There are always some tickles and surges of lust for people of the “wrong gender.” What do lesbians do with their attractions to men?
Scratch:The great taboo. The younger generation’s doing better than mine on it. I still get very attracted to men. I used to go to bed with them even though I called myself a lesbian. But sex with men was always the same, and I never cared about them emotionally, they just don’t interest me. Now I just enjoy my attractions but don’t act on them. To hell with people who think that’s being attracted to the “wrong” sex. That’s where all our struggles started, right?
Winc:What was it like for you, growing up? Were you a tomboy? Did you hang with the guys? Play sports?
Scratch:I was definitely a tomboy. Fortunately so was my mother, so I got to stay tomboy longer than most girls. But then she got freaked out and thought I’d end up being a girl who couldn’t get a guy. She started girl-ifying me.
One day at school I went out to play kickball and only the boys were there! I looked around for the rest of the girls on the team and finally found them in the bathroom. They were playing with makeup and showing off their newly shaved legs. It was like some dog whistle had called them and I never heard it.
I started doing it, too, so I’d be normal: stockings, skirts, high heels… which I hated but figured something was wrong with me. When Icame out as a dyke, my girlfriend said if I didn’t like makeup I didn’t have to wear it; I haven’t since.
But there are lots of lesbians who wear skirts and lipstick, etc. Because they like it. “Femme dykes” are never noticed as lesbians. It’s a particular thorn in their sides, because they’re always getting come-ons from guys; a lot of lesbians don’t notice them either. They’re caught in the middle. It’s like they’re invisible. They call it “femme invisibility.”
Winc:The $64,000 Question, Scratch, and it comes in a lot of parts: Why were you attracted to me? What turned you off about me?
Scratch:I was attracted to everything. Not a damn thing turned me off.
Winc:Awwwwwww.
I guess those are my questions for now.
I’m getting on with my life, surfing and avoiding the law. Oh! Speaking of which, that Lt. Budge thinks you’re a guy.
I need some space, Scratch. Oh I hope to see you from time to time when these wounds are healed. No, I’m not being Ingrid Bergman, just realistic. I love you.
Scratch:Space is what you want, space is what you have with all my love.
Oh… Budge is convinced you’re a helpless sweet thang, so we must be doing something right. Motherfucker. Did he try to play you off me? Tell you I told him everything? You *know* I’d never, right?
I love you. I love you.
END WINC JOURNAL ENTRY
NARRATIVE ENTRY, JABBATHEHUT
A weary, wary Wally Budge stares disconsolately at the message. Shel said she got it from her connection at ACI, and that Budge should read it. OK, Budge is reading.
To:Undersecretary LaBouchere, Bureau of Census and Statistics
From:Robert Blaine III, Allied Consumer Industries
Subj:No Registration/No Money
I’ll dispense with the amenities, Margaret, and cut to the chase. We are in deep brown sauce. Permit me to summarize:
Registration has ground to a complete stop. Rubes everywhere are Registering as variations of “Scratch” or “Winc,” and *that* has begun to foul up our database.
E-ads are being ridiculed to the point of ineffectiveness. Don’t get me wrong, when ads get ridiculed, people remember them. But this is different: ads are being *ignored*.
Go find the Scratch and Winc page. A grassroots campaign has been mounted: “If Scratch and Winc Don’t Need It, Neither Do I.”
