Page 127 of Nearly Roadkill
Ms. Budge has left the room.
Wally Budge lifts his eyes to catch the latest “Headline News Alert” and smiles.
NO FLAGGING DOWN SCRATCH & WINC
(AP)
Over 50 Law Enforcement agents gathered at dawn at Six Flags Amusement Park in California, where a “reliable tip” told them they could expect to find Scratch and Winc. They found some of the nation’s best rides, but no cyberfugitives. Chief enforcement officer, Phillip Henderson, had no comment.
RELATED ARTICLES:
“Government Search: Roundabout, or Merry-Go-Round?”
“Nighttime Talk Show Hosts Rip into Government Hunt.”
“Geraldo at 4:00: Identical Twins Who Have Had Cybersex with Scratch and Winc.”
END JABBA NARRATIVE ENTRY
TOOBE ENTRY
I must get a few hundred of these a day:
To:Toobe
From:[email protected]
Subj:Article
We’re very eager to hear from you, sir. We can go to press at a moment’s notice should you give us an interview. I’ve gotten the go-ahead for $100,000, as you requested. We’ve got everything else, we report on the Scratch and Winc story every night.
Please get back to me asap.
—Blaze Selder
Producer, *Hard Copy*
Man, these people are sly. I never requested anything! They just started with a $25,000 offer, then more. Not answering.
Things have escalated, really spooky. Something I learned from my dad about the ’60s is that once somebody gets to be a hero, they get shot. I don’t want that. All I want is for my two friends to talk to each other again.
And for the law to find somebody else to fry.
END TOOBE ENTRY
12THE QUESTIONS
NARRATIVE ENTRY, JABBATHEHUT
The esteemed Undersecretary LaBouchere has summoned Lieutenant Wally Budge to her office for one overdue dressing down.
“MS. BUDGE?! Do you KNOW they’re laughing at us? Everyone! Did you KNOW that Letterman is intimating that you and I are LESBIANS?
“You don’t get it, do you?” the undersecretary continues. “Screw ‘procedure’; this has got nothing to do with that. It’s got nothing to do with Scratch or Winc either. There’s an epidemic out there, Lieutenant. Scratch and Winc are symbols.”
He has suspected the same thing but had no idea she’d pegged it too.
“They’re catalysts,” she tries again, searching in the air for something that will somehow get through to him. “Everyone is falling into line; they’ve all begun to resist Registration. Do you know what that means? Have you any idea why there’s a Registration? We are letting down our end of the bargain, Lieutenant.”
