Page 38 of Lover
And I rose to the occasion.
“I will never have enough of you,” I murmured, drowning all of my misgivings in the pleasure of her body.
“You can’t know that,” she replied, and I thought it might be time to make something perfectly clear. With somewhat ferocious sincerity, I made an oath.
“I will go to my grave needing you, Millie.”
***
We’d just finished dressing when Hannigan arrived to check in, and I respectfully left the room, waiting for him outside the door.
I could hear them speaking, but didn’t pry and stepped far enough away so that the voices became murmurs. I swept my gaze over the walls with their missing portraits, half-removed paper, and the dark gas lamps which still needed to be replaced. Everyone wanted me to abandon this house, but Millie had loved it here. Until the troubles began, it had been her haven, and shecherished it with the heart of a woman who had built it with her own hands. I wanted her to have that again, but even as the sun shone through the hall windows, casting a pleasant, ethereal golden light upon all it touched, I resolved that if it was in the best interest of my wife, I would do anything, including leave Willowfield for good.
The door opened behind me, and Hannigan stepped out. Before I could speak a word, he pushed me farther down the hall and said barely above a whisper,“I’d much hoped Millie’s memories would return peacefully, but after speaking with her about what occurred in the tower, I’m of the opinion that they’re coming back as hallucinations.”
“Yes,” I replied grimly, “I discovered that last night. I’d planned to come find you, but she was afraid to be alone.”
“I would be afraid, too, if I were seeing the things she must be. This was a side effect no one could have expected. The house was supposed to call her back to herself, but considering what she’s enduring now, I believe it’s too much for her.” He shook his head, regret dark in his eyes. “This was a terrible mistake. You need to get her away from here immediately.”
“What if we were to leave permanently? Would that be beneficial for her?” It was a painful question, but one I was ready to ask.
Hannigan glanced around at the halls as I had done, taking them in and reliving all his own moments here. He rubbed a hand over his mouth. I’d never seen him so unsure.
“I think that even the best medical minds of our time have made the wrong call on this one,” he said at length, “and I’m afraid that I must admit that even I have no idea what the best prescription would be. From here, you can only do what feels right, and we’ll all have to hold on tight for better or worse.”
With this permission, I knew myplan.
“I’m going to tell her, Hannigan,” I said.
“I guessed as much,” he replied. “Just don’t do it here or now. With the way her subconscious appears to be rejecting the house, I’m worried it will make things worse.”
“Then we’ll leave today. I’ll take her to Boston, tell her there. That way, if things go well, we can leave right away for France, start anew, and if it all goes terribly…”
“The hospital is nearby,” he finished for me when I couldn’t voice the nightmarish thought.
I nodded. “I better alert Millie to the change of plans.”
“Yes, go. I’ll be here just in case.”
When I opened the door, I nearly knocked Millie over.
To hide my alarm, wondering how much she’d heard, I smiled at her.
“Listening through doors? You naughty girl.”
“What was all that about, Callum? You need to tell me right now,” she demanded.
“I’ll tell you, but not here,” I said, biding my time, trying to decide how I would explain our sudden departure. “Let’s take a walk together, the gardens are greening.”
While she readied herself, I went to my dresser, opening the topmost drawer and lifting out a small pink envelope. In it was the ring I had given Millie when I first asked her to marry me. My plan had been to wait until we were in Paris, but time wasn’t on our side.
When Millie met me in the hall, my heart fluttered. I was all nerves, no more confident that she’d say yes than I was the first go. She took my arm, and we walked through the gardens together in the cloudless afternoon.
“I’m afraid I have to travel again, this time for quite a while,” I said once we’d enjoyed much of the grounds. “I’ve already turned over the opening of the house to Rodney. He’ll handle preparations while I’m gone.” I hadn’t. In fact, I planned to call a lawyer from Boston and have him facilitate the saleof Willowfield. I would ask Felicity and Ms. Dillard to stay on with us, wherever it was we found ourselves, and would offer Rodney a comfortable position at one of the company hot houses—far from Millie, but near enough that his sister would have no reason to follow.
“I want you to come with me,” I finished.
She laughed, as though I’d told a joke. “Don’t you think that would be improper?”
