Page 36 of Lover
“Very good. My only recommendation is to wait until Millie is fully recovered from this flu, perhaps two or so weeks, then tell her your plans.”
“There you are, Laurence.” Ms. Dillard appeared, having come up the hall behind us. She looked grayer than usual, tired. “We’ve run out of your tea concoction. Did you bring any more with you?”
“I do have some more, actually. I’ll fetch it now. The two of you better get back in there. She wasn’t yet awake when I left, but she’s stirring. I think she’ll be coming round soon.”
Dr. Hannigan took Ms. Dillard’s fingers in his and squeezed reassuringly, then left us.
Ms. Dillard caught my look.
“I’m not ready to talk about it,” she said.
At least something pleasant was going on in this house. I smiled slightly and gestured toward the door, motioning for her to go in first.
She placed her hand on the doorknob, then paused.
“Your plans to leave…” She hesitated. “I think you should make them permanent.”
“You as well?” It was a betrayal, and I suddenly felt very alone.
“Willowfield has seen its share of love,” she said. “It has gracious memories and it would be my pain to leave this house,but it would be a greater one to think our Millie will be suffering here. That you will be.” Her eyes grew misty as she studied my face. “When I look at you, I often see that sweet, unruly little boy with sugar on his cheeks who lost so much far too soon. Sell the house to the university, Callum. Move somewhere less vast and haunted by tragedy.”
“This is my home.Ourhome.”
“Your home is wherever you are with that lovely girl in there,” she said, nodding toward the door. “Build a joyful life somewhere else.”
Without waiting for a response, she stepped inside the room, giving me only the choice to follow.
When we entered, Felicity was kneeling by the bed speaking to Millie, who was, thank God, awake.
The maid hurried to her feet, then rushed to gather the bedsheets and leave, trying hard not to make eye contact with me. I stopped her, keeping my voice low, hoping that I could say something that might help, show that I recognized and appreciated her concern and care.
“Thank you for being such a good friend to her.”
I might have pinched her for all the shock it inspired in her eyes. She cast one more glance back to the bed where Millie lay, then hastily took her leave. Yes, there was something going on there, but my wife was awake and I hadn’t the time to consider it.
When Ms. Dillard finished making her comfortable, she stepped out of the way and Millie laid eyes on me. She raised a hand, and I was there in a short stride.
“Did you call a doctor?” she asked, her voice broken in her throat. Her pallid coloring accentuated the purple cast beneath her eyes, which were locked on me, searching and fearful.
“Dr. Hannigan is here,” I assured her. “He came early yesterday morning.”
“Yesterday morning? How long have I been asleep?”
“Nearly two days.”
“I’m so sorry.”
Her apologies for things she couldn’t control had always inspired in me an almost crazed sort of detestation toward the people who’d mistreated her.
“Don’t apologize,” I said, kissing her knuckles, before, as gently as possible, broaching the subject of how she came to be where we’d found her, terrified to hear the answer. “Millie, why were you upstairs in the tower?”
“I was following noises. Callum, there was someone up there. I saw her, I touched her. We were inches from each other.”
“Millie, darling.” I tried to keep my voice free of the dread that had hardened in my stomach. “You pulled the dust cloth off an old mirror. We found you lying in front of it.”
“Did you have a child?”
Grief like a poison-tipped arrow pierced my chest, seeping sorrow through me as fresh as it had been in its first days.
