Page 28 of Meet A Rogue At Midnight
It was all very…comfortable.
They breached the upper floor, both eyeing the lone bed near the window. Rumpled sheets invited them to make a bigger mess. Embers glowed in one fireplace, the sole source of heat. He marched to the hearth and bent to stoke a fresh fire.
“Don’t. The smoke. It might alert others.” Furtive lashes dropped over Livvy’s eyes.
Others.Meaning her family, secure in the belief that she was dancing country reels and taking a much deserved respite in the Sheep’s Head. He rose from the hearth, his gaze shifting to the floor. He’d stood near this spot and assured Mrs. Halsey that her daughter’s honor was safe with him.
Tonight, he’d plunder it.
Livvy set a hand on the back of a chair and toed off one boot. “We’ll keep our clothes on for warmth.”
“A practical solution but less satisfying,” he said, dropping his hat on the table. “I’m sure you’d prefer skin to skin.”
Livvy’s laugh was skittish. “Skin to skin. Yes, of course.” Her boot landed with a thud.
Slipping free of his coat, his palms were damp and limbs stiff. He could be blundering his way through his first time with a woman. Livvy was no better. She fumbled with her cloak’s frogs under her chin, filling the room with aimless chatter.
“I’m acquainted with the buttons on your waistcoat. Thirteen of them…but the bottom four are undone. The ninth button…it’s near your…placket.” She glanced at that part of his breeches, her fingers shaky.
“Livvy…” He squeezed her hands and held them high on her chest in a gentle grip. “Our friendship will be as true as ever.”
Her eyes shined, big and brown. They stood together in the cold dark room, letting uncertainty wash over them. Being with Livvy sated him, the stillness of breathing the same air, of pleasant conversation, and theknowing. Only the deepest friendship gave that gift. No doubt, he wanted to slide between her thighs, but being with Livvy was its own kind of satisfaction. And, she needed gentling. Her heart fluttered a rapid tattoo under his hands. Lust had given way to tender nerves. She trembled. Gone was the confident woman who accosted him on Plumtree’s northern road.
He released her hands and set them at her side with care. It took all his powers of concentration to unhook her cloak. The silken frogs were slippery in his fingers.
“You’ve unmanned me.”
“I have?”
“I’m as nervous as you. This is a night of firsts.”
She gulped, her eyes rounding. “I, I—”
“Shhh.” He touched her lips. “It’s not every day friends engage in sexual congress. No matter what goes on here, you are my friend. I value that more than anything.”
Livvy fell against him, wrapping both arms around his waist. “Oh, Jonas…”
He cupped the back of her head and held her close. Their bond defied explanation. To call her a friend was inadequate. She was the childhood companion who never required a favor returned. She was there, always had been, wide brown eyes taking him in, her heart listening, caring. The gap between their ages had never mattered. They were the odd, youthful friendship in Plumtree that shouldn’t have made sense. Yet, the connection thrived.
“Livvy, we—”
“Don’t say it.” Big, glossy eyes stared up at him. “Don’t say ‘We don’t have to do this’.” Feminine fingers went to work on his waistcoat. She freed one button and then another, the effort jerky. “I wanted to be the one you kissed that day you left.” Her voice thinned with unshed tears. “I know I was only fourteen, but it should have been me. Not Elspeth.”
He swallowed the lump in his throat. His absence these ten years hurt her deeply.
She was fierce, undoing his waistcoat buttons. Copper brows knit together. Her breaths came in fitful huffs. He didn’t fight her. Orange light traced Livvy’s head, catching the bright auburn hues of her bound hair. His waistcoat undone, she started on his placket, words rushing out of her.
“All these years, I had hardly any news of you.” Livvy’s hands grazed his erection tenting his smalls.
Air gusted out of him and he grabbed the back of a chair. Heat flooded his abdomen. His stones twitched and his tongue refused cooperation for the mad rush inside him. He should say something to redress his brash exit years ago, but the faster Livvy toiled to free him of his smalls, the less he could form coherent words.
Her frantic hands yanked up his shirt. “I thought you’d write to me at least once.” Lips quivering, she sniffled softly. “But, you never did.”
He drew her close. She sobbed against his chest, fisting his shirt with both hands. Years of separation and sadness, of loss and wondering poured out of her. If tears could tell a story, Livvy wrote hers against his chest. Each warm drop mended her heart while it tore apart his. Holding her racked him. He wanted her, desired her, and yes…he loved her.
His knees buckled. The truth thrashed him. He blinked at the dim chamber, looking but seeing emptiness. Everything hazed. His mouth wouldn’t work.
Grim facts were clear…hewaspiss-poor at speaking his heart.
