Page 36 of Broken Breath
Mediocre.That’s all I’ve ever been.
The finish line has been creeping up on me for years, but I always thought I’d have something to show for it before it caught me.
Now I’m just crouching in the dirt alone, my only dream gone.
My breath catches when I straighten, and I have to press my palms to my thighs to stop the shaking, just as my phone buzzes again with a call.
I glance at the screen. It’s a FaceTime call from Kevin and Rachel.
Fuck.
My stomach twists as I swipe my palm across my thighs, then over my face, trying to scrub the failure off. Then I force the grief back down and take the call.
Kevin’s face fills the screen first. “Did you hear something?”
I chuckle at his greeting, despite everything. “Hello to you too.”
Rachel leans into the frame, grinning, a few strands of her dark hair stuck to her cheek. “Hey, Finn!”
“Hey, Rach,” I say, forcing a smile.
She used to remind me of Alaina. I’m not even sure why anymore, especially since I’ve actually seen her again. She’s not someone you can compare to anyone else. Not really.
Kevin exhales hard, then corrects himself, apparently remembering that manners are still a thing. “Fine.Hi. How are you?Have you heard anything?”
I swallow hard, and my free hand shakes. I can’t tell them. Not yet. I won’t ruin their dream until I’ve checked every corner for another door.
“No,” I lie. “But it’s only Wednesday. We’re just setting up the pit now.”
Rachel groans dramatically, rolling her eyes. “Ugh, that’s something Kev and you can do. I’m not hauling all that shit around every race week.”
Kevin elbows her. “You will do all the shit we do too.”
From somewhere in the background, a woman’s voice calls, “Language!”
“Sorry, Mom!” they both chime in a practiced chorus.
“Tell Finn I say hi!”
“Hi, Ms. Clark,” I greet, a little louder so she can hear me. “Guys, I gotta go haul all the shit around.”
“Language,Finn!” she calls, laughing.
I chuckle softly. “Right. Sorry.”
I almost end the call there, but something inside me wants to stretch the moment a little longer.
Wasn’t this just the kind of noise I’d been hoping to have back in my life?
God, I think I need all of this more than they do.
“You two watch the videos of the race I sent you?”
“Of course.” Kevin’s chest puffs with pride. “We watched it live too. You were so good!”
Rachel nods, leaning in. “Yeah! That section in the middle? The off-camber turn into the rock chute? You stayed high and fast, but everyone else lost time right there.”
“Good catch.” I grin. “Watch it again. I’m gonna quiz you about line choices next time we talk.”
