Page 73 of Blame It on the Bikini
"I wasn't trying to ghost you. It's just complicated."
"I am very aware of how complicated it is. We have a huge conflict of interest. But this isn't about the building, it's about us."
He gave her a long, serious look, then said, "I do care about you, Lexie. I'm just afraid we can't both get what we want. That we're headed for disaster."
"We've been heading toward that cliff this whole time, and it hasn't stopped either one of us, because we have an undeniable connection."
"We do, but the edge of the cliff is getting closer."
"I know. Our time is running out. But the worst part of this past week hasn't been wondering what you're going to decide about Ocean Shores; it's been not being able to talk to you at all."
"How can we talk when we're on opposite sides?" His voice carried a note of frustration.
"I don't know, but I think we should."
He was about to say something when his phone buzzed. He pulled it out, frowning at the screen. "This is about work. I didn't think I would hear anything until Monday. I'm sorry, I need to make a call." He paused. "I do want to talk to you, Lexie. I just can't do it now."
"I understand. Go. I'm going to catch up with my friends."
She watched him walk a few steps away and make a call, his free hand already running through his hair in that gesture she'd come to recognize as his stress tell. She could see him nod, his posture stiffening with each word he was hearing.
She stood there with her melting ice cream cone, watching the man she was falling for disappear back into his other world, and wondered if he would actually come back to finish their conversation, or if this was just how it would always be between them.
Maybe it was better if she didn't wait around to find out.
Since Kaia and Ben were talking to Ben's friend, and her aunt and Margaret were with Frank, Lexie decided to head home. She didn't know what was going on with Grayson, but she knew that she couldn't keep waiting for him. In fact, as she walked home, she realized that was the first time she'd admitted to herself that she was waiting. And she didn't like it.
She might have to wait for his decision on the sale of the building. But she didn't have to wait to hear whether or not he wanted to have a relationship with her. She had her own work to do, and she had never waited to make her own plans because of a guy. She'd learned that was a bad idea when she was sixteen years old and she had waited until eight o'clock on a Saturday night for Christian Parker to ask her to meet him at a party. But he didn't call, and she didn't go anywhere. Later, she'd found out he was making out with someone else at the party he hadn't invited her to. She'd vowed then and there she would never wait again, and she'd mostly kept that promise to herself. But now, she was doing that with Grayson, and it was time to stop.
By the time she got back to her apartment, she'd worked up a lot of angry energy, and when she walked into her dining room and looked at her wall of inspiration, she realized just how long she'd been putting off her real career. She ripped down the inspiration photos one by one. It felt oddly satisfying to erase her wall of insecurity. She didn't need the work of others to inspire her; she needed to inspire herself.
Once all the old photos were down, she started taping some of her extra prints up. She'd made two copies of the photos she would use in the show, and as she created her own wall of inspiration, she started to realize just how good she was.
There were still blank spaces, but what she had now was so much better than what she'd had on the wall before, because it was her work, and she was proud of what she'd done so far. But this was only the beginning.
Her phone rang, and she jumped. She'd been so caught up in what she was doing, she'd lost track of time and everything else. It was Sienna from the Art Nest.
"I'm so glad I caught you, Lexie," Sienna said. "I have an interesting offer for you. A friend of mine works for New Frontiers magazine. She buys photos from freelancers, and I showed her the digital copies that you sent me for your show, and she would love to acquire the photos you took at Joshua Tree."
"Really? That's amazing."
"There's more. She had a commissioned shoot set up in Morocco, but her photographer bailed, and she needs a replacement fast. She can pay airfare and hotel for a five-day trip, plus whatever you negotiate for the photos. But the shoot is in a week. You would have to commit soon, like today or tomorrow, or else she'll keep looking."
"Wow. That's a lot to take in. Did you say Morocco?" she asked.
"Yes. I think you should do it, Lexie. You're so good. And whatever photos you don't sell to her will probably work great in your collection. This could be a great way to get into the magazine as well. They don't hire staffers, but if you can become one of their preferred freelancers, you can sometimes get commissions, like this one. Plus, you'll have time to shoot other things while you're there."
"My head is spinning."
"I know," Sienna said with an understanding laugh. "She wanted to call you directly, but I thought it would be better if I warmed you up first. I gave her your number, and if you're interested, she'll call you at five today. Just say the word."
"Yes. I'm definitely interested."
"Then I'll have her call you at five, and you two figure out the rest. Good luck, Lexie."
"Thanks again, Sienna. This is amazing."
"I'm happy to help someone as talented as you."
