Page 115 of Role Play
“Do I want to hear your reasoning?” I gaze at the wall, acting aloof, but knowing we’re on the cusp of a difficult conversation. I toss the empty bottle and grab another.
“Probably not, but I’m going to drop a truth bomb on you anyway.”
I let out a low grumble of annoyance mixed with curiosity. “Fine. Lay it on me.”
“You’re afraid she isn’t a good writer. Or maybe she’s a good writer, but doesn’t have good story ideas. You’re probably thinking that if you dig too deep into the truth, you might bepeddling the same bullshit her dad is.” He curls up on the couch in a defensive position, arms blocking his head. “Go ahead and hit me. I’ll let you have one good lick, just not in my money maker.”
“I don’t want to hit you,” I murmur, staring at the peeling label on my beer, buying time. “You’re right. I don’t know. I just…I don’t want to see her hurt. But all she does is cry.”
“That’s not true,” Taio says, relaxing again, stretching out his legs once more. “She had a blast at paintball today. She hadfunand let loose.It’s obvious she doesn’t do that often. She was laughing and joking with a smug little smile, all proud of her badass antics. It was cute. You did that for her, man.”
“Did I?” I muse quietly.
For a moment, it’s just the sound of us slurping down our beers, allowing the calm silence to settle between us.
“I read her book,” Taio finally says.
“Which one?” I sit up straight, intrigue piqued. “How was it?”
“Binged a few, actually. Just wrapped upLovelywhen I got home. Dominated at paintball. Got tipsy at the pub. Came home, read, shed a few tears. Perfect day, my guy.”
“Focus. How was the book, Ty?” I rush out.
“Really good. The way she writes about people feeling like they’re unlovable—it’s like she gets it, you know? Like she understands what it’s like to always be on the outside looking in. But I think that’s her big problem.”
“What is?”
Taio eyes me over his beer. “Sora writes for a certain type of reader. Someone with depth who wants to learn a little emotional intelligence.” He spans his pitcher’s mitt of a hand over his chest. “Obviously, as a refined man, I get it. But other readers? As far as escapism goes, I think most want pure entertainment. Not a lesson in love.”
“I’m not surprised she has trouble connecting with the masses, because she’s so unique, you know?” I tell him. “Like she’s sassy, but also sweet. Hilariously snarky, but so polite and tender too. A total amateur at some things, but a professor at others. She’s the kind of girl that gives you whiplash in the best way.”
Taio stares at me like he’s disgusted. “Damn, you’re already in deep.”
I exhale slowly. “Fine. I think I’m in over my head. And I have no damn clue what to do about it.”
“What’s to do? You like her, she likes you. Seems pretty straightforward.”
I sigh. “Yeah, there’s just the small matter of me needing to fuck other women for a paycheck. I’ve been dodging Rina’s calls best I can, but she’s getting pissy. I haven’t seen a client since the first night I stayed with Sora. She’s been giving away all my jobs.”
Taio slams his beer down on the coffee table. “So you’re the reason I’m working every other night, and my dick is cooked like an overdone bratwurst.” He adjusts himself for emphasis. “I had to use cream for thechafing, man.”
I laugh, choking on my beer. “Sorry about that.”
“Don’t be. Money’s good.” He leans forward, suddenly serious. “But what’s your endgame here, Hawk? You can’t avoid Rina forever.”
“I know,” I groan, rubbing my face. “But working suddenly feels like betraying Sora. I’m not saying I’m the best at relationships, but I’m pretty sure cheating on her wouldn’t bode well.”
“Cheating? That’s bold. She knows what you do for a living. It’s not emotional, just a job. Even porn stars get into relationships. They figure it out without the jealousy.”
I cut him a sideways glance. “You can split hairs all you want. But if it feels like cheating,it’s cheating.”
“Fine. So what’s your endgame, then?”
“I’ve got no endgame here,” I confess, slumping back into the couch. “I’m just…winging it.”
Taio snorts. “That’s a first. Mr. Plan-Everything-to-Death has no strategy.”
“Look where all my careful planning got me.” I gesture vaguely around us. “Debt up to my eyeballs. Dakota’s pretty much estranged from her grandpa, all because I’m ashamed to face my dad while I’m selling my body to pay the bills.”
