Page 66 of Grave Misgivings
Maybe it’s the wine, maybe it’s the fact today wasn’t a total disaster, maybe it’s just my mid-life fucking crisis obliterating me to pieces.
“Can I ask you an insanely personal question?” I ask softly, my heart in my throat.
Zeb turns to raise an eyebrow at me. “That depends on what it is,” he says with a grin.
I lick my lips, unable to tear my gaze away from his absolutely beautiful profile, the way the muscles in his wrist and his forearms draw my attention in a way I know I’ve never noticed on anyone else.
“How did you know you were gay?”
Zeb pauses, and for a minute I think he’s not going to answer me.
“It wasn’t any one thing. More like, it was a bunch of little things,” he says honestly.
“Like what?” I inquire as he turns down the road I’m starting to recognize as the main drag to his house.
“Well, for starters, my crushes were never girls my age,” he replies with a laugh. “That was probably a big one, but there were other things, too.” He pulls his truck up to his driveway, but he doesn’t shut it off.
“Like what?” I ask, shifting in my seat. The motion puts me closer to him since there isn’t a console between us.
He chews his bottom lip, his green eyes sparkling the same way they did when I ran into him into the hallway earlier.
“I think a big one was when all I could think about was kissing this guy I was fucking crazy about,” he says quietly, his gaze flashing to me. “It was brutal. Literally, all I could think about when I was around him.”
A wave of heat overtakes me as the longing in his eyes registers.
“Did you do it?” I ask, my gaze fixated on his glittering eyes. “Kiss him, I mean?”
Zeb licks his lips, swallowing harshly, and he leans in closer to me.
Without thinking, I lean in, my gaze dipping to his mouth.
And then it hits me like a fucking brick.
I. Leaned. In.
Oh, fuck.
“Nope,” he says, his breath warm on my skin. “Didn’t think he wanted me to. Didn’t think he was into me like that.”
I set my hand on the seat in the space between us, noting how the edges of my fingers graze his knee as I do so. He shifts a little closer, the motion putting my entire hand on his knee.
I lean in an inch, feeling like I’m on the edge of a fucking cliff. My body heats as my heart beats faster, so fast I think it’s going to explode out of my fucking chest.
I slide my hand just an inch over his knee, resting it. My palms heat, and I think I amHellboundfor sure.
“What if he did? Want you to, I mean?” I ask calmly. “If said he wanted you to... would you?”
Zeb’s breath is steady, and he implores my gaze. “Fuck yes, I would,” he breathes. “In a heartbeat.”
I move closer until the edge of my knee brushes against his and my hand slides up his leg, resting on his thigh where I leave it.
He closes his eyes for a moment as he bites his lip, opening them to implore my gaze once more. “Is that what you want, Geo?” he whispers. His verdant gaze falls to my lips. “For me to kiss you? Here? Now?”
I don’t miss the way his voice shakes, and it’s a strange sort of comfort knowing he’s just as scared as I am.
“Yes,” I whisper shakily, because I do, and the levity of that truth is not lost on me.
Zeb reaches out, settling his fingers on my throat, his gaze focused on mine for what feels like an eternity until he moves and he pulls me in, his lips grazing over mine.
