Page 43 of Grave Misgivings
There is silence before she huffs out an annoyed sigh. “You really want to do this, now?” She growls, letting out a breath. “Fine.”
My stomach flips as she answers me.
“For starters, he’s not some lovesick teenager anymore who’s scared of coming out. He’s hot, twenty-nine, single as a goddamn piece of cheese, despite my intentions oftrying tofind him a decent boyfriend, and?—”
“Boyfriend?” My voice cracks.
“Fuck, I didn’t mean to say that.” Katy curses. “Fuck, fuck, he’s going to kill me.”
“So he’s...” I swallow harshly. I can’t even say it. Because I know the second I do, it’s going to change everything.
“Gay, Geo. Yeah.”
“Oh.” I let the words sink in.
Katy sighs again in exasperation. “Don’t tell him I fucking told you, okay?” she pleads.
“Okay,” I reply as I stare at my mirror, its ghostly memories threatening to rise up with the truth of that one word.
Katy hangs up, and the line goes dead.
A flurry of guilt festers like a storm inside of me.
I should have been there for him, but I wasn’t.
Katy was.
He was my best friend, and I should have been there. I should have known.
His words feel different, now, shimmering with a new context.
He’s playing music again, too, Katy said.
Maybe she’s right; maybe I haven’t changed.
I know I should go to sleep, but I can’t. Instead, I pull up Google, and I type his name in.
A couple search results pop up for local newspapers and some social media, and a YouTube.
I click on the YouTube link and it brings me to his page.
The man in the videos is not a person I recognize in the slightest.
The Zeb I remember was tall and skinny like me, with dark hair and green eyes, and an ever-present golden tan. He used to wear his dark hair across his eyes, like the other “scene” kids did; he was always sporting black eyeliner, ties, and black nail polish.
But themanon his YouTube looksnothinglike that person. Except for his eyes.
Long, thick black eyelashes that make the deep, rich green of his eyes stand out against his tan skin.
His hair is still long, but doesn’t hang in his eyes the same way it used to.
He’s bigger, too.
Like, thicker. All around. He’s shirtless in his video, his skin glistening under the light, thick dark hair decorates his chest, the guitar blocking his waist. He looks relaxed and...
Sexy as hell.
I can tell by the definition in his arms, he probably works out, but nothing crazy, and I chew on my lip as my cock jumps.
