Page 35 of Grave Misgivings
She sighs. “What are you so worried about? It’s mom and dad, Geo. It’s your family.”
I envy the ignorance my sister has. She and I didn’t have the same parents growing up.
They never grounded her or shamed her for shit.
No, instead, my sister brought home her first boyfriend at sixteen, and my parents were practically thrilled because he was “a good Christian boy”, but I literally caught him feeling up my sister in the pool shed the summer before they started “dating.”
Good boy, my ass.
“Yeah, and myfamilydoesn’t have the best track record of treating me like an adult.” I huff.
“Geo...” she sighs. I can hear the sadness in her voice.
I let out an exasperated sigh. “Look, I don’t want to fight about this, okay?”
Her voice softens. “I know.”
I pull into the studio parking lot, park my car, and turn it off. But I don’t move.
There is a thick silence before she speaks again.
“You need to forgive them, Geo,” she implores, and I can hear the heartache in her voice.
I stare at the studio, thinking about her words. Thinking about home.
My life wasn’t terrible by any means. I know my parents were just doing what they thought was right for me because they lovedme, but just because they loved me doesn’t negate the fuckingtraumathey caused me.
Every value they tried to instill on me became my armor.
And even underneath the visage ofGravedigger, that armor is still there, even if no one can see it.
I don’t know if I can forgive them, because I can’t even forgive myself.
“Katy...” I sigh.
“Just... promise me you’llthinkabout it, okay?” Her voice is soft, and I can hear the emotional pain in it. “I miss you. I want to see you, too, you know.”
Her words are serious, and they weigh on me heavily. Suddenly, I feel like an asshole.
I might have issues with my parents, but Katy’s different.
And I miss her, too. Her and Zeb, they were always my pillars of strength.
“I’ll think about it, okay?” I say, swallowing harshly as my heart catches in my throat.
“Okay,” she says, and then the line goes dead.
I cue up my text, and I don’t even think twice about texting Zeb, even though I know I shouldn’t.
But I feel overwhelmed, angry, and upset, and I need my friend. I need him.
Call you later?
I lick my lips, waiting.
I count to one, to two, until I hit ten seconds, and then I see the bubbles.
The relief that floods me is instant.
