Page 105 of Grave Misgivings
“No, I don’t think you do,” he retorts, shaking his head. “You can stop, Geo.”
I have to close my eyes to try and hold off the fucking tears that want to free themselves from my soul from his words.
“It doesn’t have to beforever.You can take a fucking break.” He sighs. “Look at Drew. He went home to Jasper Springs and fell in love, took a hiatus. I left for five years and came back and releasedSatellitesand went on this fucking tour. Met the goddamn love of my life, too. And look at Duncan—hehada big career, left, got married, had a kid—came back and look at him now. Dude iskillingit with the rest of us and his pain in the ass boyfriend, what? Twenty, thirty years later?”
His words settle on me, and I look up at the clouds, the light that pours through them onto us from above.
The tears fall because I can’t fight them.
“You wouldn’t be the first guy to take a break, and you certainly wouldn’t be the first guy to take a break because he fell in love.”
I look up at the sky, and the clouds have parted.
Mateo squeezes my shoulder with warmth.
I want to respond, but all that comes out of my damn mouth is a sob. I pinch the bridge of my nose as I sit with my friend and the truth.
The truth I’ve known, but I didn’t want to admit.
The truth of what IknowI need to do.
For my heart, my sanity, and the sake of mymusic.But most all, for me.
God didn’t give me a second chance to make the same mistake twice.
“Three months,” I say softly. I look at Mateo’s familiar face. “Three months left on this tour, and then that’s it.” My voice isa little more solid as I let the truth settle, as I find my strength. “Yeah, I think a hiatus is long overdue.”
Mateo offers me a kind gaze, squeezing my shoulder once more. “I’m going to miss having you around, Geo Graves.”
I settle my hand over his, offering him a genuine smile. “I’m going to miss having you around, too, Mateo,” I swallow harshly. “Thank you.”
Mateo drops his hand. “Of course. It’s not goodbye forever.”
“Mateo!” Hailee calls out. “Are you ready or what?”
We both turn to see her at the back of the stage with her keyboard, and suddenly, I get an idea.
“Hold your fucking horses, Hailee!” Mateo snaps as he stands, offering me his hand.
I take it and he helps me to stand. “It’s just goodbye for now,” I say as I exit stage left.
CHAPTER 26
Zeb
The hot Arizonaair kisses my skin, a stark contrast to the chill from my A/C as I open my sliding glass door.
Katy is putting the final touches on the back patio with balloons and streamers while Joel sets up the grill.
Twenty-four hours.
Somehow a week has fizzled down to mere hours, and the truth is bittersweet.
I know the show is tomorrow, and Sunday morning, Geo will jump on his tour bus, and he’ll be gone, and when the tour is over, he’ll go home to L.A. and it’ll only be a matter of time before the next album comes out, and the next tour starts.
Because that’shislife, but it could have been mine, too.
So, I’m not going to waste the precious time I have left with him before he leaves.
