Page 100 of The Women of Oak Ridge
“You want to go to prison?” Dad asked, his voice raised.
“Of course I don’t want to, Harry, but it’s what I deserve.”
Dad sank back against the couch cushion, arms crossed over his chest. “This is nuts.”
I glanced between the siblings. I knew how Dad felt, yet I admired Aunt Mae for finally facing her giant.
“I have two requests,” she said. “First, I need to speak to Velvet. I don’t want her to hear this on the television news.”
Dad groaned and closed his eyes. “The news.” He shook his head, then looked at Aunt Mae. “What’s the second request?”
Aunt Mae’s gaze shifted to me. “I want to give my confession to Jonas. He’ll know what to do.”
A sob escaped my throat, but I nodded.
“My poor family.” Her voice cracked. “I’m so very sorry to put you through this. I know you’re ashamed of me. I won’t blame you if you never want to see me again.”
Dad and I went to Aunt Mae, where we wrapped our arms around one another.
“We’ll always be here for you, Mae. We’re a family,” Dad said. He wiped his face. “We’ll get through this somehow, together.”
Aunt Mae asked me to call Velvet and invite her and Roonie to the house. Velvet must have heard something in my voice, because she said they’d be right over. When they arrived, Aunt Mae burst into tears. While Velvet sat and held her hand, she told her friend the shocking tale.
“Oh, my poor Mae.” Tears slid down Velvet’s cheeks. “How I wish you would have shared this with me all those years ago.I knew somethin’ was wrong, but I could have never imagined this.”
“I didn’t want you to hear about it from anyone else. I’ve treasured our friendship through the years, but I betrayed you. I’ll never forgive myself for being a coward and a traitor. You deserved better. Everyone did.”
Velvet knelt in front of Aunt Mae and grasped her by the shoulders. “You listen to me, Maebelle Willett. You are the dearest friend I could ever ask for. I would never hold this against you. You’re a good person with a good heart.”
Aunt Mae’s face crumpled. “I’m not. I lied to everyone. I stole classified documents and gave them to the enemy. I let Clive get away with Sissy’s murder,” she sobbed. “It’s too much. God can’t forgive me. No one can.”
Velvet gathered Aunt Mae into her arms and let her weep. When she quieted, Velvet met Aunt Mae’s tormented gaze. “You were trying to protect the people you loved, Mae. You had to make choices you would never have made under normal circumstances. God knows your reasons for doing what you did, and he has already forgiven you. The day Jesus hung on the cross, he paid the debt for your sins. He looked into the future and knew all the wrong and sinful things you would do. That each of us would do, and he died for them.”
Aunt Mae shook her head. “I wish I could believe that, but I can’t. I did things that were illegal and immoral. I betrayed my country. I betrayed Sissy’s family. They never knew what happened to her because I was a coward. No, those things aren’t forgivable.”
“Mae,” Velvet said, her voice soft, “think about the man on the cross next to Jesus. He was a criminal. We don’t know what he was guilty of, but it doesn’t matter. The Bible says he even mocked Jesus as they hung there. But as the hours went by and death was near, that same man asked Jesus to remember him whenJesus entered his Kingdom. Did the Lord deny him because of his wrongdoing? Because he’d done things that were illegal and immoral? No. Jesus looked into that man’s heart and saw the things only God can see. Things that convinced Jesus the man was sorry for what he’d done. Then he told the dying criminal that he would soon be with Jesus in paradise.”
Velvet grasped both of Aunt Mae’s hands. “Mae, have you told Jesus you’re sorry for what you did? Have you confessed your wrongdoing and asked for forgiveness?”
Aunt Mae nodded. “Over and over, but I don’t feel forgiven. I’ve tried to do penance. I’ve given aid to the needy, money to the poor, volunteered at church, but nothing helps. Nothing takes away the guilt I feel, deep in my soul.”
Velvet wiped Aunt Mae’s tears with her own embroidered handkerchief. “Guilt has a way of making us think God is too angry to forgive our sins. That we’re too far gone to be saved, but grace says otherwise. Grace says our sins are washed in the blood, bringing with it a time of refreshing and renewal. Jesus died so you can be free, Mae. Free from sin. Free from guilt. You just have to accept the amazin’ gift of grace he offered to everyone from that terrible place on the cross.”
Aunt Mae stared at her friend, longing in her eyes. “To be free is all I’ve ever wanted. Free from Clive. Free from the terrible memories. Free from the heaviness I’ve carried all these years. It can’t be that easy.”
A gentle smile came to Velvet’s face. “‘If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.’ When we acknowledge our sins before God and repent—when we turn away from wrongdoing—we’re no longer slaves to sin. It loses its grip on us, and we become the redeemed, beloved children of God.”
Aunt Mae’s breath came in hard gulps. “I’m forgiven?” she whispered.
Velvet nodded. “Yes, Mae. You are forgiven. You’re free. Now it’s time to live like it.”
Aunt Mae’s sobs shook her entire body as she fell into Velvet’s arms.
The change in Aunt Mae was immediate. She still felt deep remorse over her long-ago actions, yet her face shone, almost radiant, with peacefulness as she spoke to us about what was next.
“Laurel, please call Jonas and tell him I’m ready to turn myself in,” she said. While she’d been resigned earlier to confessing her guilt and paying the price, now she had a sense of serenity about her that was nearly tangible.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Dad asked. He’d been quiet while Aunt Mae shared her story with Velvet, but I saw in his eyes he didn’t agree with her plan. “What you did was wrong, yes, but it happened a long time ago. Whatever the Russians may have learned from the documents you passed to Morrison is obsolete by now. We don’t even know if Morrison really was a spy or if he was just some lunatic.”
