Page 11 of All We Thought We Knew
I sucked in a breath. On their own, my eyes darted to his empty sleeve.
“I’m lucky.” His tone indicated the exact opposite. “I only lost an arm. Gerald lost both legs. Infection becomes an amputee’s worst enemy after he’s carried off the battlefield.” His eyes narrowed on me. “People back home don’t care that not only is the soldier suffering from physical disfigurement, but he’s also dealing with depression, hopelessness, criticism from strangers. People out there would rather condemn Gerald for being a soldier in the first place rather than feel any sympathy for what he went through that led him to give up.”
Anger laced his words. Was he still talking about Gerald, or had he himself experienced the kind of rejection he spoke of?
“I’m sorry your friend died,” I said. “I’m sorry my brother died. But the truth of the matter is, none of you should have been in Vietnam. Certainly not Jake.”
He stiffened. “Jake served his country faithfully. That’s more than I can say for the cowards who chose to play it safe.” He smirked. “I’m sure that includes yourfriendsout in California. Sex, drugs, and pseudo peace. Isn’t that their motto?”
I wouldn’t take the bait. “You, Mark, and even Geraldchoseto go to war. Jake didn’t.”
The muscle in Nash’s jaw ticked. I braced for a full-on argument, but it didn’t come.
“Jake, let’s go.” Nash grabbed his jacket from a hook by the door and didn’t look back as he and the dog left the house.
I watched him through the window as he crossed the yard, his long strides evidence of his anger. Dad must’ve left the house through the front door after Mama went to sleep, because he metNash halfway between the barn and the house. Would Nash tell him about our quarrel? After a minute of conversation, the two disappeared into the big building.
I sat at the table and sipped coffee that had grown cold.
I refused to feel guilty. I’d only spoken the truth. Still, the look on his face when he talked about his friend’s suicide...
I heaved a sigh.
I didn’t want to hurt Nash. He’d been like a brother to Mark for many years. But he’d made his choice four years ago and now had to live with the consequences.
A glance in the direction of the closed bedroom door reminded me we all had to live with those consequences.
After I downed a cold pancake, I put the leftovers away and finished cleaning the kitchen. Upstairs, I peeked in on Mama and found her still asleep. A hot shower and a bottle of shampoo worked magic on my appearance and my mood. After donning an old pair of jeans and a sweatshirt I found in my closet, I made my way outside into a beautiful autumn day. Maybe I’d take Moonlight for a ride. I’m sure my horse had missed me the past year.
Standing on the porch, I inhaled a deep draft of clean, country air. I had to admit the farm held a unique beauty that couldn’t be found anywhere else. California had its pretty beaches, deserts, and mountains, but this place... These pastures and rolling hills were part of me. They were part of Mark. He and I had covered the two hundred fifty acres countless times, either on foot or on horseback, almost from the moment we learned to walk. We built forts, hunted for arrowheads, and fished in the creek that ran through the back woods. Nash would tag along sometimes, especially on days when Mr. McCallum had been drinking.
Movement near the small guest cottage just past the barn caught my eye.
Jake. He was chasing something. The dog limped along at a quick pace, bent his nose to the ground, and picked up whatlooked like a red ball. He carried it back to the house, where the door stood open, and disappeared inside. A moment later, a red flash shot through the air into the yard, with Jake right behind it.
Curious, I stepped off the porch and walked in that direction. Jake was just returning with the rubber ball in his mouth when Nash met him at the doorway. They both seemed surprised to see me.
“Sorry. I didn’t know you were with him. I saw him from the porch.”
Nash bent to retrieve the ball Jake had dropped at his feet. “Sit.” The dog did. A moment later, Nash lobbed the ball into the yard, and off went Jake after it. We watched in silence before Nash said, “The vet says exercise is good for him. It may look like he’s in pain, but he needs to stay active. Otherwise, his muscles will atrophy.”
I nodded. I couldn’t help but wonder if the same was true for wounded soldiers.
Jake returned, but instead of dropping the ball at Nash’s feet, he plopped down in the dirt, obviously done with the game for now.
I studied the small one-story house. “Do you remember when Granny lived here? She was always so grumpy and didn’t smile, but she made the best molasses cookies. Too bad she wouldn’t let us have more than one each. Never two.”
Nash chuckled. “Then Mark and I would distract her while you snuck in and snitched one for us to share.”
“We were quite the team.” The memory was bittersweet. “So,” I said, needing to change the subject before I ended up in tears. “What does Dad use the cottage for these days? Storage?”
An odd expression crossed his face before his brows rose. “You really don’t know?”
I shook my head.
“I live here. Well, Jake and I live here.”
I blinked. “Oh. I thought... um, I assumed...” It was best to simply shut my mouth.
