Page 71 of All We Thought We Knew
Thankfully, Ivy Lee continued to gush about the colonel, veering far from the topic of the German internees. I’d already said too much. I certainly didn’t want to accidentally divulge anything that would make Gertrude suspicious about my growing friendship with Gunther.
When we finished the meal, I washed dishes while Ivy Lee freshened her makeup and left the house. Gertrude retired to her room upstairs, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Flicking off the kitchen light, I went to the parlor and turned on the radio. Jimmy Dorsey’s voice filled the small room as I settled on the sofa, my legs tucked beneath me. He sang of glowing sunsets in summer skies, and the gleam of love in his sweetheart’s lovely eyes.
I sighed.
Songs like that always brought regret to the surface, although it was never far away.
I glanced at the photograph of Richard on the mantel as the song continued. “I wish I’d loved you the way you loved me,” I whispered.
Bittersweet memories of dancing to Big Band music with Richard at the USO brought tears to my eyes. “We did have fun together though, didn’t we? If things were different and you were here, I’d try every day to be the wife you deserved. We would’ve been happy.”
But even as I said the words, part of me wondered if they were true. How could I be the wife I’d promised to be without truly loving my husband? I’d cared for Richard, yet genuine love hadn’t taken root in my heart. Not even during the handful of days when I was his wife in every way. I’d held on to hope that love would grow once we were together in Hawaii and started our life as a married couple, but that chance was stolen from us by the cruel hand of war.
The song ended.
It wasn’t good to dwell on the past. I couldn’t go back and change the choices I’d made. I needed to look forward. Make plans as best I could. I’d already managed to save some money since I began working. I hated to admit it, but the rental income Ivy Lee brought with her had helped with the bills. It also helped me see that Gertrude didn’t need me to stay. She’d never thought of me as her daughter-in-law. Seeing her enjoy Ivy Lee’s company allowed me to consider leaving the farm without guilt. Richard had always planned to sell it and move away, so it didn’t make sense for me to remain much longer.
Another ballad began to play. For reasons I couldn’t understand, Gunther’s image appeared in my mind’s eye.
It would be my honor to dance with you one day, Mrs. Delaney.
Warm tingles raced up my arms, remembering his soft words. They’d felt like a caress, and I’d wanted to fall into his embrace right then and there.
I shook my head and forced my eyes open.
“You’re being ridiculous,” I chided myself. I switched off the radio and left the light on for Ivy Lee before going to my bedroom.
Yet as soon as I crawled beneath the covers, and the world was quiet and dark, Gunther invaded my mind once again.
With a huff, I rolled onto my side and stared out the window to the night sky.
“Gunther Schneider is a German enemy alien,” I said to thestars, knowing they would keep my secret. “I shouldn’t be thinking of him at all.”
Yes, he was handsome.
Yes, he’d been a gentleman every time we’d been together.
Yet none of those things mattered most. The fact is, I had no firsthand knowledge of why Gunther had been arrested and remained under the government’s supervision. Ivy Lee and Gertrude believed the detainees were all Nazis simply because they came from Germany. While I couldn’t bring myself to believe Gunther had anything to do with the Nazi party, I also had to admit I couldn’t be certain. Was he even now gathering intelligence about Camp Forrest and everything going on at the military installation and somehow relaying it back to Germany?
I rolled over again and stared at the dark ceiling.
Was I a fool to spend time with him? Was it a mistake to help him with his English? He’d expressed a desire to speak the language so well, no one would know he was German. Why? Did he hope to hide his identity and go unnoticed in society should he be released?
Suspicion swirled through my head, but my heart refused to join in. I wouldn’t—couldn’t—believe Gunther was a spy or had any nefarious reasons for spending time with me. Tutoring him in English was my idea. And the truth is, I enjoyed his company.
My spirit settled as my eyes drifted closed.
I would continue to befriend Gunther. But I would also keep my wits about me and not let silly romantic notions about the German man prevent me from seeing something amiss. Should he do or sayanythingthat led me to suspect he wasn’t the man I believed him to be, I would report it to Colonel Foster.
Immediately.
TWENTY-TWO:MATTIE
DELANEY HORSE FARM
DECEMBER 1969
Mild autumn weather returned after Thanksgiving, making it feel more like October than December. Frosty mornings gave way to glorious sunshine and cloudless blue skies before the breakfast dishes were even cleared from the table. Most of the horses were put back into the pastures, giving them the freedom to run and stretch their legs after cold days stuck in their stalls. I’d taken Moonlight out for some exercise, although I was cautious not to run her. It felt good to be in the saddle again.
