Page 33 of Under the Tulip Tree
Surprise surely shaded my face. “I don’t believe that, Grandma. Not you.”
“It’s true. I’m not proud of the way I treated people who were different from me when I was younger. After Corneliapassed away, my mother hired other black servants. I took the notion that because I was white and the daughter of the mistress of the house, I was somehow better than them.”
Her confession shocked me. I couldn’t believe my sweet, loving grandmother—a pillar in the church and community—had at one time been exactly like my own mother.
“What changed your mind?”
A wry smile lifted her lips. “I’d like to say I had a revelation and came to it on my own, but it was actually your grandfather and his view of the world that helped me see how wrong mine was.”
I hadn’t known Grandpa Jim well before he passed away. I was only nine at the time. My memories of him mainly consisted of his contagious laughter and an ever-present spittoon to accommodate his chewing tobacco habit.
“Tell me about Grandpa.”
Warmth filled her eyes. “Jim never met a stranger. His smile drew people to him like flies to a picnic. It didn’t matter the color of the person’s skin or their status in society. Jim was friend to everyone.”
“How did you meet?” I couldn’t recall the details of their romance, although I’m sure I’d heard the tale before.
“I was a student at Ward Seminary for Young Ladies,” she began, taking on the same faraway look Frankie often wore when remembering days of old. “It was May of my second year of school. I was studying to become a teacher, because that was one of the few careers offered to women at the time.”
I smiled, thinking of my grandma as a young woman.
“It was a Sunday afternoon, bright and warm. I’d been voted May queen, so I was to be honored during the parade through town for May Day. I rode in a wagon pulled by four beautiful but spirited horses. The young boy driving them was no match.” She chuckled. “I’ve often wished I could’ve seen his face when one of the lead horses spooked and caused him to lose his grip on the reins. Those horses bolted down the street, not only endangering me and the boy, but everyone who’d come to see the parade.”
I leaned forward, captured by the images Grandma’s story spun in my mind.
“My young driver and I could do nothing but hang on for dear life, hoping the horses would slow eventually. Suddenly, from the corner of my eye, a horse and rider appeared.”
“Grandpa?”
She nodded. “Yes, it was your grandpa. He came alongside the runaway horses and somehow managed to bring them to a stop. I know I should have been frightened out of my wits, but all I could think of when I saw my handsome hero was how glad I was those crazy horses had acted up.”
We both chuckled.
“Jim volunteered to drive the wagon back to the school since the boy abandoned me as soon as we stopped. In the half hour it took us to reach the school, I’d fallen madly in love with him, and he with me.”
A dreamy sigh escaped my lips at such romance.
“When Papa heard about the runaway wagon and how Jim saved me, he invited Jim to the house for supper. I wasa bundle of excitement and wanted everything to be perfect so I could show him what a good homemaker I would make. When he arrived, I put on airs, barking orders at the servants and severely reprimanding a young woman when she spilled a bit of soup on the linen tablecloth. I believe I might have even said something about them needing to ‘know their place.’ By the end of the evening, I could tell something was bothering Jim. We sat on the porch, with the moon settling in for the night and offering a romantic atmosphere, but Jim was unusually quiet. When I asked what was wrong, I was not prepared for his answer.”
I held my breath, even though I knew the story had a happy ending.
“‘Lorena,’ he said, just as serious as I’d ever seen him before or since. ‘I fear I’ve made a terrible mistake.’ I couldn’t imagine what he meant, and I encouraged him to continue, not knowing that what he was about to say would devastate me. ‘I didn’t know you were of the kind to treat a person poorly because of the color of their skin. I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to see you again.’”
She heaved a sigh. “He left then, and I didn’t know if I’d ever see him again.”
My heart ached for young Lorena Sue. “But you weren’t truly prejudiced, were you?”
“I didn’t think so at the time, but looking back I see that I was. I believed my white skin set me apart from a black person. That, somehow, I was better than they would ever be. It took losing Jim to open my eyes to the truth. Mama, ofcourse, said Jim was a fool, and I was better off without him. She and Papa both encouraged me to forget Jim. A string of eligible young men began showing up for dinner, handpicked by my parents, but my heart couldn’t forget Jim.”
I had never been in love, but I thought I could imagine the pain Grandma endured. “How long did Grandpa stay away?”
“Nearly three years passed before I saw Jim again. I couldn’t tolerate any of the young men Papa brought to the house and decided I would never marry. By then I’d graduated with my teaching certificate, and Papa helped me get a position in a school for young ladies. Youngwhiteladies, of course. But Jim’s words had stayed with me, and I began to see our segregated world the way he did. When a young black woman petitioned the school for entrance, the headmaster laughed in her face.” Grandma closed her eyes for a long moment. “I’ll never forget watching that young woman walk away from the school. While the teachers and students mocked her, she held her head high with a dignity I found lacking in my own race. I later learned that same young woman went on to attend Fisk University and earned her master’s degree. She’s made quite a name for herself in Memphis, what with her involvement in the women’s state convention as well as the National Baptist Convention.”
“How did you meet Grandpa again?”
“After watching my colleagues treat that young woman so disgracefully, I knew I couldn’t stay where I was any longer. I thought I’d like to teach in one of the schools for blacks,but Papa forbade it.” She met my gaze. “I couldn’t go against his wishes, as much as I wanted to. It simply wasn’t done in those days.”
I saw now why Grandma understood me so well. We were actually more similar than I’d ever realized.
