Page 60 of Gay for Pray
His mother smiles, really smiles. It isn’t bitten back or half-formed, but a full-mouthed smile. Her eyes shine with pride.
“Oh, we’ve known that for a very long time,” she says, “but he’s so modest.”
“Mom…” Theo grumbles.
Beside me, Lucy punches me in the shoulder. “Make sure to remind him for us, okay?”
“I’ll do my best,” I say. “Should be easy if we keep singing together.”
“I hope you will.”
This last comes from Theo’s father, and goes off like a bomb. The shockwave leaves everyone silent. I wouldn’t describe Mr. Walsh assmiling, but he isn’t scowling, and combined with what he just said, that counts for a whole lot.
I swallow, my throat suddenly too tight for even one more bite of delicious blueberry waffle drenched in syrup.
“I will, sir,” I say seriously.
He nods, and that’s it. It’s about as close to approval as we’re going to get, and both of us know it. It’s not the bear hug my mother will give Theo the first time she meets him, but it’s something, and I’m pretty sure it’s a good something.
The conversation turns to the sermon, which I only half-listened to. Theo speaks up, seeming more comfortable with this topic than he was with us praising his voice. I help him demolish the unreasonable amount of waffles the diner served us, taking down a cup of coffee while I do. By the time I get back from the bathroom, Mr. Walsh has paid the bill and everyone is standing to make their way outside.
I worry that this could be the moment we get some stern rebuke about our “choices” or something like that, but when the family parts, they do so with hugs.
“Keep studying hard,” Mr. Walsh says, which I’ve already gathered is about as close to warmth as he’s going to get.
“And singing,” Mrs. Walsh adds, stealing another crushing hug from her son. “It was nice meeting you, Jude,” she adds.
They start off, leaving us with Lucy, who elbows me in the ribs. “That went really well, just so you know. Good job.”
With that cryptic message, she skips off to join her parents. Theo and I stand on the sidewalk outside the restaurant waving until they pull out of the parking lot and drive away.
“We should probably head back as well,” I say. “Classes tomorrow.”
Theo nods, strangely silent as we make our way to his car. I slide into the passenger seat and fasten my seatbelt, but for a while Theo just sits there. He doesn’t turn on the engine or fasten his seatbelt or do much of anything. His head hangs, and when I unbuckle myself so I can look closer, I find tears tracking down his cheeks.
I nearly climb over the center console to thumb those tears off his cheeks, cupping his face in my hands to make him look up at me. More tears shine in his eyes, threatening to spill over any moment.
“Hey, Theo, talk to me,” I plead. “What’s going on? Are you okay? What happened?”
I thought the brunch went pretty okay, all things considered, but maybe I missed something. This is his world, not mine, so maybe his father said something that sailed over my head but meant something entirely different to Theo.
He sniffles, scrubbing at his face with his sleeve. I release him, but stay leaning over the console.
“It went really, really well,” he says.
I blink. I didn’t think it wentbad, but I would not have described that as “really, really well.” His father seemed like he was one wrong word from calling us sinners in the middle of the diner, but again, this isn’t my world.
“It did?” I say.
Theo nods, teary. “Yeah, it did. It might not seem like it, but that…that was a really big deal. He actually talked to you, and hedidn’t even make some underhanded remark or anything. And Mom…I think she really likes you. I just…”
He shakes his head, and fresh tears spill free. He speaks through them.
“It’s going to take time. I know it’s not perfect. Maybe you hated it, even, but I swear, that was good. That was really good. I think they’ll come around, even my dad. I’m just… I never thought he’d…”
My heart aches for this scared, ashamed man, a man who’s spent his entire life expecting and accepting his family’s disapproval because of who he is. I underestimated the bravery it took for him to do what he did today, and the realization leaves me so full of love that I wrap Theo in my arms and crush him against me.
“Of course they’ll come around,” I say. “They love you. How could they not? You’re incredible, Theo, and they know that. I know that. You’re so incredible.”
