Page 2 of Gay for Pray
“Please, Nick,” I say, giving up on sounding crafty or calculated. I don’t care about begging if it’ll get him onboard. He nearly cracked before, so why is he still fighting? “I need this. We need this. It’s our only hope.”
He rolls his eyes. “That’s a bit dramatic, don’t you think?”
“It’s a dramatic situation! We might spend all of our college years like priests if we don’t take drastic action now.”
Nick groans, but his defenses are weakening, I’m sure of it. “Every Sunday.”
I don’t respond to his complaint. I know what I’m signing up for. There will be days when crawling out of bed hungover willfeel like stabbing myself in the eye, but I’ll deal with that when it comes.
“Fine,” Nick finally says.
I leap off the couch and clap. He glares at me with narrowed eyes.
“You are too happy about this,” he says. “We might not even make it through the try-outs.”
“We’re totally going to make it through the try-outs. Don’t act like I haven’t heard you belting it out in the shower. We’ve got this.”
Nick shakes his head, but he’s smiling when I skip away to my room. A twin bed and modest desk are more than enough to cramp the space, but that’s the price we pay to have a living room in our dorm. It’s well worth it when I’m living with a close friend like Nick, though it would be nice if I had places to put my clothes aside from heaps on the floor. I’ll worry about that when I actually have a guy I want to bring back.
It won’t be long. I’m sure of that now. I throw myself into the chair at my desk, opening my laptop and searching for the liturgical choir’s website so I can remind myself of the date and time for the try-outs. Punctuality might not be my strong point, but after wrangling a “yes” out of Nick, there’s no way I’m letting him slink out of this.
“I’ll sign us both up!” I shout at the living room.
Nick grumbles something I can’t make out. I take it for agreement, too excited to care about his grouching. Once this scheme pays off, Nick will realize how brilliant I am. He’ll probably thank me for my genius, in fact.
Now that the wheels are in motion, the only thing that could make this school year more perfect would be if Theodore Walsh somehow wasn’t part of it, but with both of us majoring in philosophy, I probably won’t be so lucky. It would take a miracle to avoid him completely, but I bet his presence will feel a wholelot less grating when I’m not sexually frustrated. I might even find it in myself to be nice to the guy. Deep down, I should feel sorry for him. He seems like he hasn’t had fun in his entire life, and he’s only going to college so he can become a priest or whatever. It doesn’t get much more depressing than that.
It’s a shame too. A waste of potential. He’s got the kind of tall, strong build that would normally fry my brain. His blond hair is way too tidy, but I can imagine it all mussed up by grasping hands. I even caught a dappling of freckles on his arm one time, a shockingly endearing trait for a guy who exudes bitchy energy from every pore. Ifhewas queer, he might hate me less. He might even like me. With his crazy dad and all, I’d be like an oasis of safety. But I’ve never met anyone as straight and rigid as Theodore Walsh.
At least that means he won’t be in the choir.
What would a straight guy trying to become a priest need with a choir? Nothing at all. I’ll be safe from his judgmental sneering in a way I’m not safe during our classes together. I’ll retreat to a realm of theater kids and budding queers, and escape the dull, uptight religious adherence of the Theodores of the world.
I can’t wait. This is going to be it. The semester when I finally enjoy this university. Freshman year might have been a disaster—not only did I encounter some hefty culture shock, but I made some choices with Nick that neither of us particularly want to think about or repeat—but all of that changes this year. Nick and I will find the fun college experience we deserve, and even Theodore won’t be able to ruin it for us.
“Try-outs are on Thursday!” I call out.
Nick issues another grumble, but he can’t dull my enthusiasm. I’m too busy envisioning the perfect year we’re going to enjoy at Arpor Sacred Sacrament University. We may be stuck at a Catholic school, but we’re going to sin in ways theBible doesn’t even have words for.
Chapter Two
Theodore
MY VOICE ECHOES THROUGH the church, complemented by the rest of the choir as we waver into silence. The whole church quiets, and my father shoots me a smile before continuing on to his sermon.
I sit with the choir for the rest of Mass. Afterward, everyone filters out, most of them greeting my father as they pass down the steps of the church. I head out last, and Dad smiles at me when he’s wished the last worshiper a good Sunday.
“Ready?” he says.
I cast one look over my shoulder at the church, the place where I’ve always felt happiest and safest. I all but grew up in this building, and while it may be small, it’s no less beautiful for that. The stained glass catches the sunlight during these bright California days, and every pew includes a bench carpeted in red velvet.
It was hard leaving it behind last year to begin my studies, but my resolve never wavered. Getting admitted to Arpor Sacred Sacrament University was a dream come true, the perfect way for me to transition into seminary school and become a priest like my father always dreamed. He’s a deacon, and came into the position already married. He already had me and my sister as well. But things will be different for me. I knew this was my path for my whole life, and I have never strayed from it.
“Yeah, I’m ready,” I say.
He drives me, Mom and Lucy home, where my bags are already packed and waiting. They want me to stay for brunch, but I know if I do that I’ll only delay longer, so I insist on packing my car and getting going. My whole family is blond and brown-eyed like me, though my little sister sticks her hair in a high ponytail, and my mom has darker highlights in her short hair. Tears shimmer in Mom’s eyes as we gather at the entryway so I can head out.
“Have a good semester,” Mom says.
