Page 32 of Gay for Pray
Nick’s eyes go huge. “Wait, what? Dosed? With what?”
“I’m not sure. Best guess is molly. He, uh, he needed some help.”
“Shit, man. Is that where you disappeared to? I thought you had a good night. I didn’t realize you were having the night from hell. Why didn’t you text or something?”
“He was pretty messed up,” I say, trying to sound casual despite the guilt tearing through me. I should have told my best friend, but in the moment, I acted without thought. “I wanted toget him out of there and to somewhere safe where he could ride it out.”
The wheels churn in Nick’s head. “Wait, isthatwhy you asked where I was in the morning?” I nod, and Nick’s confusion turns to horror. “Hold on, back up. You left the party with Choir Boy and took him to our place and, what? He stayed there all night?”
“He was fucked up! What was I supposed to do?”
Nick puts up his hands. “I’m not criticizing. This is just…freaking weird, man.”
“Yeah, you’re telling me.”
It still feels surreal, especially because of the epilogue I have no intention of telling Nick about.
Nick shakes his head. “That’s fucked. I’m sorry. Theodore sucks, but no one deserves that.”
“No, they don’t. He’s never even had a beer. He was high as balls that night.”
“Is he okay?”
“He’s fine. I put him to bed, got him some food in the morning, made sure he wasn’t sick or anything.”
“Thank God. That shit can go really, really wrong.”
It can, but it sure didn’t in his case. It seemed more like it opened up a whole new side of him, or perhaps a side of him that he’d buried so deep it required extraordinary circumstances to dig it out.
“You’re sure no one else was high that night?” I say.
“Not that I recall. Notthathigh.”
I rasp a curse that makes the cluster of freshmen shoot us a nervous look, then lower my voice.
“I think someone was messing with him,” I say. “I think they dosed him in particular because…”
“Because he’s an uptight religious nut?”
I nod, too angry to attempt speech. Spiking a drink is bad enough on its own, but specifically targeting Theodore makesme want to flip this lunch room table and go tearing through campus until I find the culprit and strangle him with my bare hands. The surge of fury startles me, but I don’t attempt to tamp it down. It feels both righteous and right in this case.
Nick reaches across the table to pat my arm. “I’m so sorry, dude. I had no idea those guys were like that. I’d heard nothing but good things about their parties, but we’re through with them, I swear.”
“It’s not your fault,” I say, calming myself with an effort. “We don’t even know if it’s one of the guys who live there or a random asshole. There’s nothing we can really do except be grateful that Theodore wasn’t hurt.”
“Not physically at least. Feeling everything you’ve suppressed for nineteen years must be a hell of a ride for a guy like that.”
Nick has no idea how close he is to the mark, but I’m hoping Theodore’s sudden openness isn’t only because of what happened on Saturday. The Theodore I’ve gotten snatches of feels too real to be an illusion, but part of me shivers in fear at the possibility of him waking up from this wonderful dream and declaring it was all one big mistake. He could change his mind at any point, no matter how passionate he seems in this charmed moment.
If I can get him alone this week, I’ll know for sure how he feels.
“Whatever,” I say. “It’s fine now. He seems okay. But are you sure you can give me the room this week?”
“Now that I know you spent the night with Choir Boy instead of someone fun? Yes, dude. I will do whatever I have to to clear out. You need this. Is Friday night okay?”
“Friday’s perfect.”
It will keep Theodore from worrying about Sunday Mass, though I don’t tell Nick that. I let him assume that my mystery man is someone else, that I hated having Theodore in my bedon Saturday night, that I feel bad for him but not enough to actually like him. The deception is a whole separate wrinkle in my increasingly messy life, but I’ll have to tackle these one at a time. First up, getting Theodore totally alone and totallysoberin my room so I can dig out more of the truth of him. The glimpse I got in the practice room has left me absolutely parched, offering a tantalizing sip from a far deeper well. He was uncertain and inexperienced, but I’d bet anything he’ll be a willing and superb student when we have complete privacy.
