Page 42 of Wild Fixation
A charged silence sweeps through the room. The other members of the band look around like they forgot about him until Keannen spoke up.
“Wasn’t he right behind you, Shawn?” Levi says.
“He was sitting next to me,” Shawn says. “When I got up to leave I assumed he followed me.”
My control snaps like dental floss trying to leash a rabid dog. One string breaks every second, until a single fragile thread is all that keeps me from sprinting out of the greenroom.
“There’s no one else out there, is there?” I ask. I hope I sound normal. I think I sound normal. I can’t tell anymore.
“Just us and Ryan,” Shawn says. “All the fans were gone.”
Then Jacob is safe. He must be safe. If he’s with Ryan, he’s safe. If I keep repeating that, maybe I’ll believe it some day.
“It is kind of weird though,” Shawn mutters to himself.
That’s it. I can’t take it anymore. The note of doubt in Shawn’s voice breaks the final thread of my self-control like a bull stampeding through it.
I storm out of the greenroom without another word. I meet an empty room, and my nerves are so raw, my body so tensed for action, that that throws me for moment.
Then I spot them.
Jacob stands in front of the table where the band did their signing. Ryan is with him, but something about the image is all wrong. Ryan has his arm around his charge in a gesture that’s far too familiar. It’s more like a fan hugging him than a bodyguard protecting him. As I watch with gathering horror, Jacob pushes at the larger man, struggling to get away from him while Ryan holds him even tighter.
Any tenuous hold I had on coherent thought abandons me at last. It’s almost a relief. My body swings into action, all those restrained instincts roaring to the fore like hounds let off the leash. They caught the scent of wrongness long before I did, but I held them back in the name of replacing myself on the security team, removing myself as a conflict, doing the thing I’m supposed to be doing.
I was wrong.
I was so incredibly wrong.
This is where I belong, charging after Jacob, rushing in to protect him, barreling to his side. I reach him in only a couple steps and grab his assailant. Ryan might be a big guy, but I’m even bigger — and I’m highly motivated.
I wrench his arm off of Jacob and throw him back so hard that he clatters into the table. The whole thing shakes, and Ryan’s eyes go wide with shock. He almost looks sorry for a second, but that does nothing to cool the rage roaring inside me. I shove Ryan back, both palms slapping against his chest. The table clatters backward. Ryan stumbles, nearly tumbling over it. I haven’t given him a second to catch his breath and retaliate, and I don’t intend to. I snatch his shirt in one hand and cock my arm back, hand curling into a fist.
There is going to be blood involved in this.
Fury condenses in my clenched fist, like I’m hiding fire in my palm. It burns down my arm, tensing every muscle.
Then a hand grabs my wrist.
“Don’t,” Jacob says. “Don’t do it. It’s okay. I’m okay.”
The anger deflates, though a sparking remnant of it crackles in my blood. I don’t lower my arm, but some of the tension raging inside me quiets when I glance aside at Jacob. The pleading look in those soft hazel eyes knocks me back from the edge I stood on only a second ago. I don’t release Ryan, however. The bastard isn’t going anywhere until I know exactly what happened here.
“Explain,” I snarl at my new hire.
“I just wanted a picture,” Ryan says. “It’s a misunderstanding.”
I look to Jacob for confirmation, but he won’t meet my eyes. That’s answer enough. Whatever this was, it wasn’t “just a picture.” No one grabs someone like that to take a picture. Jacob’s cringing, terrified posture says it all.
I finally lower my arm, though I clutch Ryan’s shirt even more tightly, like I’m keeping a snarling dog on a tight leash. I address Jacob as though Ryan isn’t in the room.
“Are you okay?”
He nods. “I’m fine. Really.”
He sounds shaky, but I’m not going to push it, not right now, not with Jacob’s eyes on the floor and his shoulders hunched. A dagger stabs through my heart. He should never look this way, and it’s all my fault that he does. After weeks of dithering over applications, this is the guy I chose to hire. I put Ryan in charge of the meet and greet. I told everyone he was safe, that he could replace me as their bodyguard. How did I miss all the signs and let someone like this get anywhere near Jacob?
Before I can apologize, the rest of the band floods out of the greenroom. There are shouts and gasps as they take in Jacob’s scared hunching and my grip on Ryan. Jacob attempts to explain, and before I know it the rest of the band is bundling him away. He looks over his shoulder one time, catching my eyes as his friends drag him off to safety. I can’t return the look. Shame turns my gaze back to Ryan, who puts up his hands in surrender when he sees the look on my face. He’ll get more mercy than he deserves. As much as I want to murder him, I’m even more angry at myself.
