Page 26 of Wild Fixation
“No,” I say, looking right at Seth as I speak, not caring how strange it might seem. “No, there’s no one. Not right now. There was someone I was interested in, but he didn’t feel the same.”
“That’s a shame,” the host says.
I don’t respond, don’t look. My eyes remain locked on Seth as he sinks deeper into the shadows at the side of the stage.
Chapter Fourteen
Seth
I TEAR MY EYES away from Jacob. He’s still looking, but I can’t hold his gaze any longer as he describes the one man he can’t have.
Me.
The interview moves on, but the voices blur into a vague drone. They buzz around my head, but I can’t catch any of the words, too stuck on what Jacob said.
There was someone I was interested in, but he didn’t feel the same.
Little does he know Idofeel the same. I have for a long time. But I can’t. We can’t. This is my job. This attraction isn’t merely unprofessional; it could be dangerous. If I’m too tangled up in personal feelings, I could miss something, putting not just Jacob but the entire band in danger. If I was focused only on Jacob because of my feelings for him, I could lose sight of my broader task. I simply can’t let that happen.
At least now I know why Emmett hasn’t fired me. Jacob clearly didn’t tell him. It seems like he hasn’t told anyone, not even his bandmates. They know I helped him into his apartment after his birthday, but they don’t realize I stayed the entire night. They don’t know about the kiss.
I’m not sure whether to be relieved or terrified. I don’t get time to sort it out before the interview is ending and the guys are heading backstage. I swing into motion, taking refuge in the familiar. I took the bus here instead of driving so I could be with the guys as they leave. It was a good call. The second I open the back door, the cameras and questions start. I usher the guys quickly into the car waiting for them, but then I have no choice but to climb in with them. Not only is it my best way home, but if anyone is waiting for them at their own homes, I need to be there with them to deal with it.
I know in the back of my mind that the most likely target will be Jacob, but I try to set that aside during the drive. I keep to myself, sitting apart from the guys while they relax and catch their breath. Jacob says nothing to me, and I do my best not to look at him as the car takes us away from the mob at the TV station and toward everyone’s homes.
Levi and Dan make it home without issue. There’s a small hubbub at Keannen’s place, which I easily guide him through. Then Shawn leaves, also quietly, and it’s just me and Jacob in the car.
We don’t have far to go. All the guys are somewhere in downtown Seattle now. Still, the silence that floods the car the moment Shawn exits is thick enough to choke me. I stay as far from Jacob as possible, and though he doesn’t close the distance, his eyes pick over me.
“Thanks for being here today,” he says.
I shrug. “It’s my job.”
“You keep saying that, but you keep doing way more than any bodyguard would be expected to.”
Finally, I sneak a look at him. He’s reclined, relaxed, vague exhaustion softening his face. It seems even Jacob’s bright, brilliant light can dim when the entire world is trying to leech it out of him. My chest constricts at the sight of him slouching and wrung out. An urge to shield him from all the things draining him this way rises, but I force it back down.
The car pulls up outside his apartment building, and Jacob groans. I turn to the window and immediately see why. There’s nearly as much press here as there was outside the TV station. Did they all fly over here when they saw us leave? I brace, preparing to barrel my way through them if I have to. I slide closer to the door, but when I grab the handle, Jacob covers my hand with his.
“I can’t take another God damn photo,” he groans. “Please don’t make me go out there.”
“Is there a back entrance?”
“There’s a garage, but they’ll see us enter it, and there’s no door or anything. They can walk right in. Just give me a minute.”
He flops back, throwing an arm over his eyes. It would be dramatic on anyone else, but Jacob isn’t doing this for effect. His breaths deepen as he gathers himself for the coming shitstorm, and my heart twists like someone has reached into my chest to wring it out like a wet towel.
The words leap out before I can stop them.
“You can hide at my place.”
He uncovers his eyes the moment I speak. I sit rigid, my throat tight, but I don’t take back the offer.
“Just for a few hours,” I say. “Then the driver can take you back. The paparazzi probably don’t know where I live, and even if they do, they don’t care. I’m not what they want.”
“That would … be really nice,” Jacob says, “if you don’t mind.”
“It’s fine,” I say. “It’s safer.”
