Page 18 of Wild Fixation
I know desire when it’s staring me in the face. It isn’t only the booze telling me he wants me. He doesn’t pay the same kind of attention to the others, even Keannen says so. Plus, there was that moment in his car the other day, the moment when he declared my safety his personal mission. That’s more there mere professional courtesy.
Clearly, I’m not going to convince him to give in, so I spin on my heel and leap back into the crowd. A couple of the others are with me, Erin with her purple dreads, Kelsey bouncing around, Levi swaying with a stoned smile on his face. Everyone else is upstairs being cool and aloof like Shawn, I guess, but I don’t care. I don’t care about them, about Seth, about any of it. I want to dance, and it’s my birthday, so I’m going to damn well dance.
I close my eyes and sway, raising my arms over my head. The thump of the beat shudders through my body, pushing me around.
Then a hand slides around my waist. For a beat, my buzzing brain believes it’s Seth, but it’s too small, too gentle.
I open my eyes and find a stranger smiling at me. I smile back, letting him hold me as we both keep dancing. He leans close, speaking into my ear.
“Hey, you’re Jacob from Baptism Emperor, aren’t you?”
I jerk out of his hold. The guy puts up his hands, but suddenly I realize he isn’t the only one staring. In fact, the whole dancefloor seems focused on me, eyes picking over me like crows picking at carrion. Greed glints in their gazes, and suddenly it feels like the whole club is pressing in around me.
I stumble back, but I could swear the crowd closes around me like a fist. I scan for the others and find them retreating off the dancefloor and shooting worried looks over their shoulders. How did I end up so deep in the crowd by myself?
The next time someone grabs me, there’s no doubt in my mind that it’s Seth.
The arm that wraps around my waist is thick and strong. It leaves no room for argument as it hauls me away. I gasp like someone threw me into a cold pool as all the heat and friction of the dancefloor evaporates. Seth barrels his way out of it, all but carrying me as he does. He only releases me when we reach the hallway at the back of the club.
“Out,” he says. “Now.”
“But—”
“Birthday’s over.”
I blink and realize he’s correct. The others are already at the other end of the hall. Even the ones who remained upstairs are heading down, ushered along by the other two security guys.
Seth turns me by the shoulders and pushes me along. I stumble, drunk and disoriented when I plunge into the dark of the hall.
The cold outside is even worse. It’s not truly cold, not this time of year, but compared to the heat of all those bodies rubbing against me, it’s arctic. I shiver, hugging my arms around myself. I didn’t only want to dance. I wanted the connection, the feel of other bodies touching mine, the closeness of strangers dancing together in the dark. It turns out that’s yet another thing I can’t have anymore, another thing I’ve traded away in service of the music.
Seth sets his hand between my shoulder blades, a spot of warmth among the sudden chill of a big, empty, distant world. He moves me along, but gentler this time, and I stop fighting it, shuffling toward the car at the end of the alley.
Chapter Ten
Seth
THIS NIGHT WAS ALMOST a disaster. As Jacob slides into the car and sulks in a corner against a window, the adrenaline drains from my body. He has no idea how close he was to causing a crowd crush in that club. Once attention started to swivel to him, a fervor built, like the first few bubbles before a pot boils over.
He’ll never realize that he just flirted with calamity.
The other guys pile into the car, forcing me to scoot over closer to Jacob. I should leave him in their hands since my car is still parked here, but if someone happens to follow this car home, the guys could have issues getting back to their places. My job isn’t yet over tonight.
Is that true, or is that what you’re telling yourself so you can stay with him?
I shut that voice out of my head. Jacob needs someone with him tonight. There’s no denying that. I have to get these guys home. If something happened because I left, it’d be worse than merely failing at my job. Even as the car pulls away from the club, an image of the guy who grabbed Jacob flashes through my head. I watch his hand slide along Jacob’s waist, watch Jacob lean hungrily into the touch, watch Jacob turn his body toward a stranger, always so open and trusting.
I swallow whatever is clogging my throat and shake my head. Jacob is crawling around the big back seat of the car, digging in a mini fridge until he finds a bottle of whiskey. He sits on the floor of the car and cracks it open, then downs the whole thing in one go, amber liquid carving trails down his throat.
I try not to watch, but what I find when I look away is the rest of his band, who shoot concerned glances my way. I clench a sigh behind my teeth. This night is far from over.
“I know,” I say quietly. “I’ll take care of … it.”
I almost said “him” before swapping it for a safer pronoun. Jacob remains on the floor swaying drunkenly the entire way from the club to his apartment building. It’s the first stop, but I get out anyway, waiting by the curb while his bandmates guide him out of the car and into my arms. He stumbles when he attempts to stand, and I catch him before his face can hit the pavement.
“Gonna be okay?” Shawn asks.
I give him a nod. “The rest of you get home safe.”
