Page 187 of Wicked Believer
“I’ve never lived this life for me or asked what I wanted, Lucifer. I can’t go from being my father’s captive to being yours. Not without learning who I am.”
He looks at me curiously. “I thought we’d already been through this when we agreed about Azrael.”
“We have, and I’m not talking about us romantically. What I said about giving both you and Azrael a fair chance still stands, but I ... think I need to figure out who I am underneath all of that, without your”—I gesture toward him—“celestial presence looming over me.”
“Before you willingly submit to being mine?”
I nod, almost shocked that he gets it.
Sometimes he’s far more emotionally intelligent than I give him credit for.
He nods like this all makes sense to him, even though it’s just now starting to make sense to me. “I understand. When my Father first cast me out, I had to rebuild. My identity, my sense of self, my kingdom. Once Lucifer, the Morning Star, the Lightbringer, leader of my Father’s armies, His most faithful servant, and now—”
“The thief who stole my heart,” I finish for him. “Prince of Darkness. Prince of wicked deeds.”
He smirks at me. “Let me let you in on a sinful little secret.” He leans in, whispering conspiratorially. “I thought I knew all the answers before you dropped into my life, but now I find I’m no longer so confident in what I thought was true.”
I smile. I already knew without him having to tell me. “I can see that. The change in you.” I take his hand in mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Now it’s time for there to be some change in me. Maybe distance will be good for us both?”
He lifts my hand, brushing it with his lips. “Whatever you need, darling. For once, you tell me.”
I grin at that.
“I need some time away from the penthouse. A chance to have my own place. Create a space of my own. Figure out what it isIwant to do with my career, and this immortal existence you’ve given me, and then—”
“Then you’ll come back to me?” he whispers hopefully.
“I will,” I say honestly. “I always will. I know that probably sounds obvious considering that we’re fated and all, but I’d like to think that if there’s one thing I’ve learned from you, it’s that I can be the architect of my own fate, the rebel of my own story, even if that makes me into someone else’s villain. I want to shape my own destiny, make my own choices. For better or for worse. We’re that much alike. I’ll never be completely content with the idea of submitting to you, or anyone elsefor that matter, if I don’t have this chance, this opportunity to make my own decisions, my own mistakes. Be my own person.”
I take both his hands in mine. “Would you give me that? I know I’m already asking a lot of you, and I understand I don’t need your permission anymore, but I guess I’m ... asking for your support in this.”
“Charlotte, my dove, are you asking for me to let you go so that, perhaps for the first time, you can fully be free?”
I nod, incredibly grateful that he seems to understand it, understandme.
He sighs long and low. “I don’t like this. I don’t fancy this at all, and if it were up to me alone, I would haul you back toourplayroom right now and remind you of all the ways I know there are still parts of you that long to be within my control, but I will not make the mistake of holding you captive against your will again. Will not force you to choose us, choose me, even for my sake, because I love you. And so help me, I will do whatever it takes to prove to you that you have changed me, for the better this time. Andwhenyou are mine again—because let’s both be honest, youwillsubmit yourself to me, it’s only a matter of time—you will do so of your own free will, and then your submission and the sinful promise of our eternity will be all the more sweet.”
He leans down as if he means to lay a gentle kiss on my cheek, but before I can stop him, Lucifer hauls me into his arms, kissing me with everything he has, like he’s pouring every bit of emotion he feels for us inside of me, so that when he releases me a few moments later, I’m needy. No longer so confident in my decision.
“Lucifer,” I pant.
“If you think for a second I’m going to make this easy for you, or allow my little shit of an ex, Death, to steal you from me, you’ve both got another think coming,” he whispers against my lips before he steals another quick kiss from me, catching my lower lip between his teeth and gently biting it until I moan as he tugs away. “Prepare fora seductive onslaught the likes of which you’ve never seen, because I am more stubborn and more strategic than even my Father, and if this competition between Azrael and me is to be a true war to win your heart, well, then best prepare yourself now. I never lose, and I’m not about to start. You’ll be mine again before you know it.”
Chapter Sixty-Three
Lucifer
As soon as Charlotte and I are offstage after finishing our quaint little intro speech to appease all the guests, I make a beeline to Azrael.
I don’t need to see him to know he’s there, lurking in the wings.
I make certain he and I are alone, and that Charlotte is out of sight—unable to see us both from where she’s too busy with Sophie and the other members of our team fussing over her makeup as they prep her for our next onstage appearance in two minutes—before I reach out and grab Azrael by his invisible throat. The outline of his large body flickers a few times before he comes into full being.
I will fucking throttle him for getting inside Charlotte’s head like this.
I slam him up against the nearest stage wall, baring my teeth, until he resumes his corporeal form. I slipped one of the museum’s stagehands a few thousand dollars to ensure my microphone was turned off whenever I’m offstage.
A bloody good investment.
