Page 134 of Wicked Believer
God, why isthatthe first thing that pops out of my mouth?
It’s so insignificant, childish really.
Maybe because his reassurance is all you need to rebuild,a small voice inside me says.
All my nerves seem to fire at once.
I need to know that, amid the chaos, he’s the one rock that cannot be moved.
My mountain. My North Star. My constant.
Conquer me. Love me. Keep me safe. Even when I try to push you away, I need you to catch me, hold me. No matter how I’m falling apart,I send down the line between us.
But he doesn’t seem to hear me.
“Mia?” he asks, lifting a brow like he doesn’t have the slightest idea what I’m talking about.
I stammer. “You ... her ... she ...” I can’t string the words together, so instead I let out an embarrassing sniffle.
Ugh, why do I have to wear my emotions on my sleeve?
But Lucifer doesn’t bat a lash at my ridiculous blubbering.
Instead, he scoops me into his arms—wincing a little in a way that makes me even more worried he’s injured and keeping it from me—andcarries me to his devil’s chair. He unceremoniously flops down in it, settling me onto his lap like he’s a king and I’m his consort.
I nuzzle my head into the crook of his neck eagerly as he strokes a hand through my hair like he does during aftercare.
“I’m worried about you. Last night. This morning.”
“I’m fine, Charlotte.” Though there’s something incredibly tense about the way he says it that doesn’t ease my worries.
“And you would tell me if you weren’t?”
He doesn’t answer. “I’m more concerned about you. Talk to me.” His words are a whisper, less of an order and more of a plea.
Like he needs our connection almost as much as I do.
He’s so much better at this than he could ever realize. When he wants to be.
“Mia said something that sort of implied or made me think that, before I was around, that maybe the two of you used to ...” My voice trails off.
“You think she and I were together?” he asks, his tone both amused and shocked, like even the idea is one of the most ridiculous things he’s ever heard.
“Yes?” I admit, sniffling. “Well, I did until you just responded like that, but it’s not like we’ve ever actually talked about what your life was like before we—”
“Charlotte.” Lucifer grips my chin again, silencing my nervous rambling with a single brush of his lips. “There is no one for me other than you. There will neverbeanyone other than you. You’re my dove. My light in the dark. My past, my present, my future. I would give upanythingfor you. Do you understand?”
His words feel charged like there’s a deeper meaning cloaked just beneath the surface, but I don’t bother to ask him what it is. He likely wouldn’t tell me anyway.
I nod before I snuggle into his chest, causing him to grimace slightly, like he’s somehow in pain, but my relief is so thorough, I feel lighter without the weight of it.
Maybethisis all we need. To connect. To hear one another.
To trust each other completely.
He kisses me then, and as his lips meet mine, his tongue parting and exploring me, something unexpected comes alive inside me.
Effervescent. Like stardust.
