Page 35 of Wicked Believer
A few minutes later, after several reassurances from Jax that she’s all right and her brain just sort of glitched or something, the rest of thetakeout is put away, and once the spilled lo mein noodles are up off the floor, the conversation returns to Lucifer and me.
“So, whatisgoing on with you two anyway?” Evie says dreamily. “Give us the real version. None of the nonsense all over my socials.”
The “nonsense” being that things between Lucifer and I are better than ever. Even if I’m currently mourning the loss of my father. There’s been a lot of speculation about what I shared at the funeral. About how my father’s congregation and their “alleged” abuse might have helped push me into Lucifer’s arms.
Imani’s worked to make sure most of the articles paint us in a positive way. With Lucifer as my valiant savior, and me playing, well ... the role of the disadvantaged victim.
I force a cough, trying to hide my disgust at the thought.
Is that what I’ve been doing lately? By refusing to embrace my immortality? Letting my public image bleed into my private life?
How the press sees me is so far from the truth that it doesn’t even deserve the few moments’ consideration I’m forced to give it each day, though that says nothing for the several kill notices Imani’s had to send to keep some of the nastier conspiracy theories and conjecture at bay.
Every employee on Apollyon’s legal team has been working overtime.
“There’s not much to it, really.” I launch into a shortened explanation about our disagreement over the PR firm, though I keep the finer details to a minimum, considering Evie has access to herownprivate PR team, not that she’s currently in contact with them. She’s off the grid totally.
While her brother’s still searching for her, at least.
When I finish, she nods. “I think Lucifer’s right,” she says in her usual breathy tone. “Why run a PR firm when you could be launching your own brands? Building your own empire?”
Jax rolls her eyes. “Maybe because Charlotte doesn’twantan empire. Not everyone loves being in the limelight that way you do, Evie. Isn’t that right, Charlotte?” She says it with such conviction—like sheknows me better than anyone—that I have to fight hard not to wince when she looks at me.
Her eyes widen, darting between me and Evie like she’s truly seeing the similarities between us for the very first time, and Evie and I may have more in common than she thinks.
“That’s not entirely true, actually?” I mumble, more than a little ashamed to admit it.
My father worked hard to instill the exact opposite in me.
Women in our congregation were meant to be seen, not heard. One of his lessons that never really stuck, I guess. No matter how many times he punished me.
Jax’s mouth opens and closes a few times. “You’re telling me youenjoythis whole circus? The death threats? The unwanted attention it’s getting you?”
“Death threats aside, who wouldn’t?” Evie shrugs as if being in the limelight is the most natural thing in the world.
To her, it no doubt feels that way.
For Evie, the temporary loss of fame she’ll endure for cutting ties with her brother will be only a minor blow. She’ll likely come roaring back into the spotlight stronger and better than ever. Women like her always do. She was meant for this.
But maybe, thanks to Lilith, I’m more like Evie than I thought?
“Yes, and no?” I shrug, answering Jax’s question. I think of the anthrax, of how we still don’t know who sent it, yet here I am, still living and breathing. “It’s ... complicated.”
Everything in my life is lately. Sometimes, I miss the simplicity of when I wasn’t anything more than Lucifer’s intern.
Goddamn fate.
“There’s nothing complicated about all the death threats you’ve been receiving,” Jax says, her lips pursed in frustration, but I know that underneath it, she’s just concerned for me.
She has my back. She always does.
“That’s easy to say when you’ve never received that level of attention,” Evie says.
But I hear the unspoken words underneath.
When what little self-esteem you have has been built on the back of the praise you receive, of how you can be of service to others ...
The limelight is addicting.
