Page 174 of Wicked Believer
God, I bet the two of them were freaking menaces when they were together.
“It was a bit of that initially,” Azrael admits, his smile a little teasing. “And I like to watch.”
“Of course, you do, you freaking stalker.” I give his biceps a playful punch. “You think I haven’t noticed how you’ve been following me? Total creeper energy for sure.” I grin.
Azrael smiles back at me.
And I realize that’s what I like about Death.
He sees down to the barest parts of me.
Like with him, I can just be an inexperienced twenty-three-year-old again.
Not the vicious queen of Hell I’m becoming.
I think some piece of me needs the reminder that I can be both.
“So, you like to watch, huh?” I bump my shoulder against his, and Azrael’s eyes darken.
“Notjustwatch, little siren.”
A shiver runs through me. One that doesn’t have anything to do with the wind.
“I forgive you, you know.” The words unexpectedly tumble from my lips.
Death looks slightly taken aback by that.
He lifts a brow. “You do?”
The Holy Lance nearly cost me my life, after all. Even if he wasn’t the one to wield it, even if he only put the weapon into play, it was supposed to be me in Xzander’s studio.
And Olivia’s death still weighs on me.
But I have the feeling she’s in a better place.
Azrael would have made sure of it.
“I know what it’s like to love him”—I glance down at my clutched hands—“to be afraid he isn’t capable of loving you in return.”
“He didn’t with me.” Azrael shakes his head, though I can see how the truth in that hurts him. “Not like he does you.” He meets my gaze. “He does love you, Charlotte. In all the ways he can. I don’t want to get in the way of that.”
“I know.” I grin, my posture relaxing. “I know he does. But you won’t. Lucifer and I could never be over. I love him, and I always will, but I have to be certain my choices are mine. That my life isn’t just a product of God, or Lilith, or fate. I think that’s all he and I need to be truly happy.”
Azrael nods like he understands. “You need to be your own master first, before you can truly submit yourself to someone.”
“Exactly.” I give him a soft smile.
Death is sensitive in ways no one would ever expect him to be.
Maybe because, in the end, he’s the one tasked with the job of putting us at peace, helping us move forward.
“What did you mean?” he asks unexpectedly. Azrael strikes me as a short-response kind of guy. Few humans are as okay with silence as he is. “When you said you were sorry?” he prompts.
“I’m sorry for not recognizing what Lucifer meant to you sooner. For dragging you into all this.” My limbs grow heavy as I look at him, my heart on my sleeve.
The corner of his mouth turns up as he nods appreciatively. “You’re not dragging me into anything, little siren. Lucifer offered to share you with me of his own accord as part of our deal.”
My brows shoot up. “He did?”
