And for what?
Because I was angry? Because I didn’t like the choices he was making?
Or was it because he’d kept me at arm’s length? Made me feel like he couldn’t trust me?
All that seems so childish now.
“To open the first seal, I had to give up my earthly powers, Charlotte,” he says softly. “That was the penance my Father expected me to pay.”
“Your Father?” I breathe, my eyes sweeping over the extent of his wounds. “He did this to you?” If his injuries are this bad now, how bad were they when he ...
“My brother actually,” Lucifer answers. “At my Father’s behest.”
So still on God’s orders.
My jaw tightens.
What parent, God or not, would ever do something like this to their child?
Suddenly, Lilith’s anger feels justified.
Azrael reappears on the far side of the office, drawing our attention. “The doctor’s on his way.”
I give a curt nod in thanks before I look away.
The way he’s watching Lucifer, the worry on his face. The way he touched him as if Lucifer and his body were incredibly familiar, it’s almost like he ...
“You were there, the night this happened?” I ask, shoving the train of thought aside.
“Unfortunately,” Lucifer grumbles, wincing a little as he tries and fails to readjust his position in the chair.
Azrael gives him a reproachful glare. “I haven’t seen him look that bad since they severed his wings.”
“Severed?” Suddenly, the reality of that seems even more horrifying than it did previously. I glance between them.
There’s a long and sordid history there that I can’t even begin to comprehend.
Not fully.
“Why? Why would you give up your powers like that?”
Does he truly hate humanity that much?
Lucifer shakes his head, like he knows what I’m thinking, though I can’t hear him on the other side of our connection. No wonder it’s been so weak. “I thought the trial would be something more trivial. I did it to protect you.”
I frown. My fear and worry for him quickly twist into frustration. “Don’t you dare pretend that you did it for—”
“Ididdo it for you, Charlotte,” Lucifer growls, grabbing me by my collar and hauling me into his lap ruthlessly. Even in a weakened state, he’s stronger than I’ll ever be. “Everything I am. Everything I’ve doneeversince you first walked into my brother’s club has been for you, don’t you see?” He grips the sides of my face with both hands, pressing his forehead against mine, his eyes desperately searching mine. “I’m utterly and completely lost for you, darling.”
My breath hitches.
“It’s true.” This from Azrael.
I tear my gaze from Lucifer’s to where Azrael stands a few paces away, watching us. I don’t know why, but I don’t like him standing on the other side of the room. Like he’s somehow separate from Lucifer and me.
He’s ... supposed to be here right beside us.
I push the thought away.