Page 33 of Fox
“Please!” I cry against him. “Fox please! I-I’ll do anything, just—make him come back. I’ll make any deal, please! I-I can’t do this. I can’t be here alone. Bring him back! Please, Fox, I want my dad!” Fox lets out a cough that I know hides a sob, and it only makes me cry harder. I know he’s hurting just like I am, and he’s having to put on such a brave face for me. He’s being strong for me because I have no one else. I didn’t even have to ask him, he just took this upon himself and it causes something to stir inside me that I’m unable even to begin to try to unravel and decipher at this moment.
I have no idea how long I’ve been crying into Fox’s chest. But he has yet to complain, tried to push away, or even shift. He just holds me tightly and continuously strokes my hair.
“You’re safe, Torch,” he whispers, and god help me, I think I actually believe him.
My sore eyes are too heavy and tired to keep open any longer. I just need to escape, even if it’s temporary. I bury myself deep into his soft chest, inhaling his intoxicating scent and allowing it to ground me. Amberwood and notes of pepper fill my nose as I feel him rest his chin on top of my head.
“You’re going to be okay, baby doll.” His voice is soft and so far away, like I’m losing consciousness.
“I’m here. You aren’t alone.”
FIFTEEN
fox
Sighing, I look away from the television. The news plays at a low volume as Janie snores atop me, her small hand still clutching Tony’s box of ashes like a lifeline. It breaks my fucking heart. The absolute feeling of helplessness I had when she begged me to bring her dad back. I would’ve gladly given up my life to give her Tony if it would make her feel better. The thought is foreign and terrifying but one hundred percent true; I would’ve given her anything in that moment.
I knew going to the crematorium today would not go over well for either of us. I mean, how could it? But I didn’t expect her to break down as badly as she did. I’ve never seen anyone collapse the way she did. And when they handed her the box, it was as though she had nothing left.
As I think about everything, I unconsciously run my hand up and down her back. My thoughts go to Tony, and the tight feeling in my chest has nothing to do with the redhead lying on top of me. Fuck, I miss him. I miss him more than I’ve allowed myself to admit. Swallowing down the lump in my throat, I blink as I stare up at my ceiling.
“Fox.” Janie’s soft voice brings me back.
“Yeah?” I whisper, trying to ignore the feelings she’s stirring as she nuzzles into me.
“Fox,” she whispers again, obviously still asleep. Leaning down, I press my lips to her head.
“I’m here baby doll, you’re safe.” She lets out a long breath before her breathing evens out again. I’m stressed for her. Earlier in the truck, Janie had mentioned her ex-boyfriend hadcanceledher. I didn’t understand what that meant, and there was no way I would press for further answers then. It became very apparent when we pulled up to her apartment, though. I was already apprehensive about leaving her alone after how upset and overwhelmed she was during the meeting to pick up Tony’s ashes. But when we got to her building, and I saw the literal mob of men and women holding signs, several of which saidJai The Slut, I was filled with so much blinding rage I very nearly pulled over and beat the shit out of each one of them. I couldn’t leave her at her place; there was no way I could leave her there alone. Somehow, they’d found her home address and Janie’s no longer safe in that apartment.
She was glazed over the whole ride, crying, shaking, and whispering that she was alone. I’ve never felt the amount of heartache and helplessness I did during that ride. And never did I think Janie would be the person I would feel it for. When I got her to the couch, I watched as she completely broke down again. There was nothing left of the armor that her petite body wore every day. She was broken, vulnerable, raw, and scared. And I realized it was time to put our petty differences aside. I need to protect her. She’s alone in this world. Her so-called friends and boyfriend have all but abandoned her, and I didn’t have it in me to allow her to go through this on her own.
Once Janie had fallen asleep in my arms, I maneuvered her back onto the couch and intended to get up.
Really, I did.
Well, mostly. Regardless, my intentions didn’t matter because when I tried to move, she started crying and held onto me as tightly as she held Tony’s box. So that’s what led us to be here. Me, lying on the couch with her tucked into my chest. She’s so peaceful when she’s sleeping, and I notice her tremors are gone, which gives me some sense of peace. I’m glad to know that at least in her sleep, her body can rest.
I look at my phone and sigh. While I admit I’m not up with most of the inner workings of social media, I’m not a complete idiot. One simple web search for “Jai” and all the articles appeared. The hateful comments and photos of her and me as I helped her out of the club. Meanwhile, that mother-fucking poor excuse of a human, Brody, looks like the fucking victim.
I don’t understand. Where are the photos of him with other women? Fuck, what about the video of him getting a lap dance? But everywhere I looked, it turned up empty. It was as though the social media sites wantedher to be canceled.
I turn my attention back to the sleeping redhead on my chest. I brush the wild curls out of her red, tear-stained face. She groans in protest and nuzzles into my neck. I close my eyes and take a slow breath, willing my treacherous cock to stay the fuck down. I notice her loosened grip on Tony’s box and take the opportunity to grab the box and set it over on my end table. I love Tony, but having him on my chest with his daughter while I’m fighting an erection is too much.
Janie whimpers my name in the softest, saddest tone I’ve ever heard as her now free hand trails up my neck and into my beard. How far do I let this go before I’m no longer a caring person but a pervert instead?
Fucking dick, come on, man! I stare at the prominent bulge painfully pressing against my jeans, and fuck; I can’t be thinking like this about her! It was bad enough in the shop the other week, but I chalked that up to us both being filled with so muchanger we just exploded. It was a mistake. But this would be different. She’s fragile, and there’s no way I’m taking advantage of her like this.
It’s killing me that I’m having an increasingly difficult time remembering why I need to continue to look at her as Tony’s daughter and not a grown woman.
Fucking hell, I need to get my shit together. I can’t—I won’t betray Tony like this. He was the closest thing I ever had to a real father. I can’t think thoughts about his daughter, not these kind of thoughts.
Limping up the rain-covered stairs,I stagger up to Tony’s door. At least, I hope it’s his. The fifth that I finished while driving here is making everything a little fuzzy. Placing my hand on the door, I knock slowly, taking more effort than it should.
I can hear the sound of the door unlocking before I’m met with Tony’s large frame.
“Fox,” he breathes out, his salt and pepper brows furrowing in confusion as he stares at me. I’m sure I look like hell. My entire self, drenched in rain, tears, blood, and dirt. Hair wild, body shaking, and—“Son, what happened to you?” His words pierce through my drunken haze and hit me right in the heart.
“Tony,” my voice cracks on a sob as I fall to my knees, unable to fight this weight anymore.
