Page 55 of Fox
“Come on, Foxy, for old times.” She purrs, and I feel my skin crawl.
I shake my head and back away. “Fuck. No. It was a mistake then, and it sure as shit would be now.” Her face darkens as she steps closer to me, and I notice her limp is gone.Figures.
“You’re fucking Pierce, aren’t you?” I pale, and she knows she has me. “I knew something was off when you jumped to her defense at the coffee shop that day. You’ve hated Janie for years, and then suddenly, you chew me out over questioning her with the shop. You’re fucking Tony’s baby girl. Guess you only like them at a certain age.”
“Fuck you, Liza.” I spit as I turn to walk away.
“That’s a good move, though!” She calls, and god help me; I stop and turn to hear the rest of her statement. “You know, ensuring you get all the power over the shop. Keep hersatisfiedfor the year, and then she’ll gladly sign it all to you. Hell, maybe the dumb bitch will fall in love with the unlovable Fox Simmons and just give it to you.” Her cold laughter fills the hallway as I head toward the elevators.
I need to get to my room, take a scalding shower, exfoliate, punch something, and then drink, a lot.
After consumingmy entire mini bar and scrubbing six layers of skin off my body, I lay in my hotel bed withThe Officeplaying, though I’m not watching it. I’m staring at the unanswered messages Janie has sent.
Torch: … BECAUSE, you insolent fool! Michael Scott bought his own best boss mug. Also, you aren’t my boss, so I can’t buy this for you as a gift. That’s like bowing before a fake king. You have no gold, no land. You’re not my king, Fox!
Torch requests payment of $9.25
Torch: Hello?
Torch: FINE I’ll buy you the mug without getting paid back for it. But I’m drinking out of it first.
The followingmessage is a selfie of her holding the mug to her lips. She looks like she’s sad even though she’s smiling. Her eyes are red-rimmed, and her face is blotchy.
Torch: You know, I have TONS of other people I could be talking to, but here I am, TRYING to converse with you.
Torch: I forgot it’s an hour ahead over there, maybe your ass is asleep.
Torch: Oh fuck, maybe you found some *cat emoji* *fire emoji*
Her last message was sent twenty minutes ago. I continue to stare at the screen as I think about what Liza said.
The unlovable Fox Simmons.
Most didn’t know, but Liza was latching on to artists back at the old shop I used to work at before I moved here. She was the shop girl back then and enjoyed hanging around to… Well, fuck or suck any artist that would have her. I was young and had just gotten my ass beat by my dad the morning before I headed into the shop. When I got there, Liza was the only one there. She took me to her car and sucked me off.
It never happened again, never went any further, and when Tony showed up with her on his arm, I didn’t even realize it was her at first.
Unlovable.I had told Liza that. I was in a weak spot and told her that my father had said that about me while burning me with his cigarette butt. Liza hadn’t told me he was wrong or tried to give me any words of encouragement. She just said to pull my dick out. And I did.
Liza is wrong, though. I would never take Hel’s from Janie. The shop is ours together unless she wants to be bought out.
I thought about how Janie asked if I found her attractive. The hints about dating and how she lied about being cool with us having sex just that one time. I know Janie doesn’tloveme. That's impossible. But I’m beginning to worry she might like me in a way I can’t reciprocate.
The thought makes my chest ache. I know that my feelings for Janie have blown way beyond just friends. But acting on them further could only hurt us both. What if I fuck up? Which is inevitable. What if she gets tired of me and moves on? Or whatif something happens, and she’s no longer in my life, and I’m left alone after trying to open up to someone?
I thought about my mom and how she looked at my father with all the love in the world, even after her beatings. She allowed him to beat her, my sister, and then me, all because of love.
I was so happy when they were leaving and coming to live with me, finally getting away from him. I should’ve gone and brought them instead of having them drive down.
I remember the ass beating I got at the funeral. I was in the best shape of my life, but I listened when my father told me to get onto my knees. I allowed that man to wail on me for killing his wife and daughter. I let him tell me that he hoped I would have a wife and daughter taken from me like he did. I allowed him to blacken both my eyes and break my nose and jaw. I let him jab a lit cigar into my pec. All while screaming at me that I was an unlovable piece of shit that murdered his family.
A notification on my phone pulls me from the dark memories. I wipe my face, realizing it's wet, before looking at the screen.
Torch: What is the worst part of the convention?
Leaning back against the headboard, I stare atThe Officeplaying and smirk before sending a text.
Me: The worst part of the convention has to be the Dementors…
