Page 39 of Fox
He gives me a short shrug. “Hey, I ain’t saying anything. It’s just that a couple of months ago, you would’ve prayed that this would be the end for him. Now you’re rubbing his feet.”
“It was his head!” I shoot back before realizing what I’ve said. I stare at Atlas with wide eyes, and his eyes match mine. Though where I’m certain mine display my horror at having called myself out, Atlas looks like a kid on Christmas morning.
“Shut up,” I warn, looking at the other two equally shocked men. “All of you! He was sick, and I was trying to be… Atlas, stop it!” I shove him, but it’s no use. He stands like a massive statue, grinning that stupid grin.
“Fox and Janie sitting in a tree…” Atlas sings as Ash and Derek snicker.
“You all can kiss the fattest part of my ass. I’m out of here.” I grumble, grabbing my bag and heading out as those idiots and their kissing noises follow me. I know they are busting my chops, and I’m notthatangry at them. I’m angry and embarrassed with myself. I can’t believe I let that slip. What has been happening at Fox’s, it’s like a different reality. A reality that can never mesh with this one. Despite the weird thoughts that have been wiggling around since I’ve been at his house.
God, I’ll bet my right boob Atlas is already texting Fox and giving him shit about my slip.
“Fox is going to kill me.” I mutter.
SEVENTEEN
fox
Alow rumble stirs me from a deep sleep. Cracking open my eyes, I look around my dim living room. My television playingThe Officeat a low volume is the only light source. My body is aching, and my arms feel so fucking stiff. It’s been a long time since I got a cold and even longer since I had one take me out like this.
Feeling way too hot and sweaty, I move to get off the couch, and a small groan sounds from under me. My pillow moves on its own, and I look down to see in the shadows that mypillowis actually a soft, freckle-clad, and very bare stomach.
Fucking shit.
Janie’s small hand falls out of my hair as I bolt up in shock. She mutters something but stays asleep. I try to recall today’s events that would’ve led me to nuzzle into her bare abdomen while we slept. I remember feeling alright during the day while she was at work, but the later it got, the crappier I felt. When she got back from Hel’s, she made some god-awful soup. Seriously, how do you make lousy soup? Then we watched TV and… I look back at her and groan in frustration as my cock betrays me again. I’ve been near death for two days, how does this thing have the energy to get hard?
Standing from the too-hot couch, I freeze as thunder rattles the house and windows. Glancing toward the redhead, I see she’s still out cold, snoring away. It’s kind of terrifying what she’s able to sleep through.
As I approach the sliding glass door, I remove my socks and let my feet feel the cool hardwood floor. I don’t know why I’m trying to be quiet. I could run through here screaming, and apparently, she wouldn’t budge. Janie lets out a snort-snore, causing me to laugh as I open it and step outside. The cool night air feels amazing against my overheated skin, and the rain is a soothing ambient noise. I chuckle at the thought of Janie seeing me out here. Her head would probably burst into flames as she starts screaming at me about beingso sick.
Knock it off.I scold myself while forcing the smile away. The last thing anyone needs is for me to read too much into what’s happening.
I’m sick, and she's just being nice.
Really nice.
I can’t remember the last time someone took care of me. My mom and sister weren’t people who took care of you. Instead, they were the ones who required caring. Mom and Lacey were as loving as they could be. But we were trapped in a home with an abusive man, and they needed my protection. Unfortunately, love was something that was put on the back burner in my family. We lived in constant survival mode. At least until I was old enough to protect them. Then, it was my job to fight my father and protect them. It was a job I hated. I wanted to leave a million times as a teen, but every time I would get ready for school, I would see my mom, her bruises on full display from the beatings I couldn’t save her from. And I knew I couldn’t leave. I couldn’t leave because she refused to leave. Broken bones, bruises, and my father forcing himself on her, and she still stared at him like he hung the moon. She was a danger to herself, anaddict for that man in the most lethal of ways. And my sweet sister also developed an addiction. He could do no wrong, and there was an excuse for every time his hands ended up on us. And all he had to do was turn his hazel eyes to them, and he’d be forgiven. And every time I look in the damn mirror, I’m reminded of him because those hazel eyes are the same as mine.
The street light glows in broken streaks through the harsh rain, and I try to focus on the light, pulling myself back out of the past. I hate thinking about them, all of them. I hate I couldn’t give them the life they deserved, and I hate that my fucker of a father outlived them both and that even when I’ve been free of that darkness for years, it still has an icy grip on me. How can I allow myself to get close to someone when I could destroy them? Did my father start out normal like me? A slight hot head who never thought he would hurt his family, and then something switched? Knowing it could happen, how could I put someone I love in danger?
Remembering my abusive past is hard. Thinking about the accident that took my mom and sister is harder. And forgiving the overworked, exhausted truck driver who fell asleep at the wheel is nearly impossible. But the role I played in all of it will eat away at me until the day I die. I had just moved out here to start an apprenticeship with Tony after he had seen my work at a shop back in Washington. I had barely been in my very shitty apartment for a couple of months when Mom and Lacey decided they would come down to live with me. I was finally getting my shit together and able to convince them to get away from my father for good. Things would’ve been tight, we would’ve struggled, but they would’ve been safe, and that’s all that matters.
I wince as I feel the sharp pain in my chest, and the guilt washes over me like it always does.
“Fox?” Janie’s groggy little voice pulls me out of my thoughts. I can’t help but smile slightly as she rubs her sleepy eyes. “How are you feeling?” She yawns while stretching.
“Better,” I say softly as she walks up to me, eyes still squinty. Her hand lands on my forehead before she runs it down my cheek, and fuck, I feel like I want to melt into her touch. Maybe I do lean in ever so slightly, but if ever questioned, I’ll deny it.
“Are you crying?” My eyes snap open and widen when I feel her wiping the moisture off my face with her thumb.
“What?” My frantic voice cracks, and I let out a nervous breath. “Torch, come on. I may be sick, but I’m not crying.” I pull my face from her grasp and jerk my thumb over my shoulder. “It’s raining.”
“Yeah, from your eyeballs.” She deadpans, not accepting my excuse.
I mutter out a “Jesus Christ” while shifting and rubbing the back of my neck. “It’s… nothing. Just thinking about my mom and sister.” Janie’s face softens, and goddammit, here we go.
“Don’t do it,” I warn as her deep blue eyes go round and innocent.
“Do what?” She huffs, her freckled cheeks turning pink.
