Page 31 of Stevie
“Oh, my god, yeah! Because I mean, tentacles.”
“Tentacles for wha–oh… Oh! Stevie!” He scoffs and shakes his head as I laugh.
“Hey! Don’t you hate on them! You’re going to be reading them to me while I recover.” He barks out a laugh.
“Absolutely never! I will have Ren come and do it. She reads that stuff.”
“It’s not the same!” I groan. “Besides, Ren gets all practical. ‘Why does he have two penises? A six-foot cock can’t fit into a virgin’s vagina’ blah blah blah. I love her, but that totally takes me out of the moment.”
“Two…six-foot… What are you reading?” he asks, horrified, and I can’t help but laugh again.
“Listen, I have yet to see a romance that can rival that of the Scorpion’s Siren! It should go down in history as the greatest love story of all time.”
“Scorpion? So he’s a little-”
I scoff, “Ain’t nothing little about Aror. He is over seven feet, two dicks, and his tail can be used for–”
“Okay!” Brooks laughs. “Okay, Stevie baby, I adore you, but I’m not reading you the story of Aror the Scorpion with two dicks.” I pout, crossing my arms and looking away.
“This is exactly why Aror and Kimmy’s relationship is so perfect. He would’ve read it to her.”
“Well, I guess you’ll just have to settle for a boyfriend that rubs your back and feet while you read about the scorpion king to yourself… silently.”
“Actually, he’s a general. And boyfriend? You’re not my boyfriend.” I quirk an amused brow and watch as he cringes and rubs the back of his neck.
“Right, I know. I just–” his phone rings, and he groans while fishing it from his pocket.
“Janie?” He says, and I hear Janie’s muffled voice screaming on the other end. “I think this is for you,” He mutters, rubbing his assaulted ear.
“Janie, what’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong? I’ll tell you what’s wrong!” She shouts, and I can hear Fox in the background, trying to get her to calm down.
“I am all the fuck way across the country, getting everyone and everything BUT a penis stuffed up my vag, and my bestie is going in for surgery tomorrow, and I can’t get her on the fucking phone!”
“Oh shit,” I wince and smack my head. “Sorry, Janie, Brooks turned my phone off because of the hate comments. How are you?”
“Annoyed, violated, and horny.” She huffs out, and I chuckle.
“Why can’t you have sex?”
“Ugh, pelvic rest. I’m forced not to have sex for at least a week.”
“Oh, you poor thing. How will you survive?” I grumble while walking into my bedroom and lying on the bed.
“I don’t wanna hear it. You have dick on demand over there with yourfriennies with bennies.”
“That is horrible. Don’t call it that. And we have barely even kissed since before our date. He is taking things so damn slow I might have to bust out the vibrator.”
“Torch!” I hear Fox groan. “At least take this conversation off speaker!”
“How about you bite my ass, old man? Go be broody somewhere else!”
I chuckle lightly. “Glad to see you two are enjoying your time away.”
“Ha, get this. We are in the same hotel we were at for the convention a couple of years ago. You know, the one where Fox was a fucking child and told me he couldn’t love me.”
“Oh, my god!” he growls. “I swear to Christ, I’m going to drown you in the fucking bathtub.”
