Page 5 of Derek
Pink is as bad as it gets, and I’m usually unable to move and could require medical attention if it doesn’t ease. It’s typically when my relapse is in full force. Blue means I need to rest, I’m hurting too much, and I need to assess myself to see if I’m hitting the pink stage. Red means proceed cautiously. I’m in pain but can usually take care of it with my medication. Yellow is a normal day; pain is manageable, and little to no medication is required. Then there’s purple; purple is my unicorn. It means I’m having the best day. Unfortunately, I haven’t had a day worthy of a purple bracelet in a long time.
When I had my accident in front of Derek, it wasn’t that I was embarrassed it happened in front of him. Sure, I liked the guy. I still have a crush on him, not that it matters. He has no interest in me, and I’m not looking for anything either. That day, I had gone to get coffee with a guy, despite my better judgment, and it was a blue day. I knew better than to go, but I did. I showed up and couldn’t keep my balance, and my speech was slurred. He was such a dick, and then I told him I had MS, and he said he wasn’t looking to be a nurse. So, emotional, rejected, and embarrassed, I, again, despite my better judgment, went to work at Hel’s.
I was upset, and Janie and Atlas were trying to talk to me; I got overwhelmed, and the pain was too much to bear, and I lost control of my bladder. It’s not the first time it’s happened. It’s sometimes common during relapses, and I’ve learned to just smile through it and move on over the years. Life’s too short to cry over wet pants. But I was embarrassed by that asshole, only to have it happen in front of the guy I would never get for the same reason the other guy wouldn’t even have coffee with me. It was too much, and I couldn’t handle it. And then I was in Sunday’s dance studio, trying to feel a little normal with my girlfriends, only to be unable to get myself to stand from a seated position, and a shirtless Derek had to help me. Ugh.
I’ve been sick for a long time and worked with sick kids my entire adult life. The one thing we always try to implement is not to live in the darkness. A positive attitude and self-esteem are so important. But that relapse got me, and I wanted to hide. Then this night shift thing became my new normal. I do miss Fox, Atlas, and Janie. I rarely see them anymore. However, Derek has a bug up his butt about me, as per his rude comments at the burrito shop.
Well, I’ve got news for him. He may think I won’t be there, but I will make the biggest deal out of his birthday just for that little snap.
* * *
It’s abouttwo thirty in the morning when Stevie and I finish up and walk out into the crisp night. I’m so exhausted I almost told them to leave me in the shop because the thought of going down these stairs and then climbing the stairs at the studio apartment I share with Stevie makes me want to cry. I need to get a different place, but the money I make at Hel’s goes toward paying any medical bills not covered by the health insurance I’m on with my mom. As well as food, my share of the rent, and the rest goes towards the nonprofit I started, the Crown Project. It mostly consists of me and sometimes a couple of other women I beg to help. We dress up like princesses and go to different wings of children’s hospitals and hang out with the kids. We tell them stories, do crafts, anything to try and lift their spirits. I love my nonprofit, and I sink every available dime I have into it because I want those kids to have their purple days.
“Alright, Indy,” Brooks’ deep voice states as he holds out his massive hand. “I see it’s a red day today; you want me to carry you down?”
“I mean,” I beam at him, putting on my best show because we don’t get embarrassed when we need help. “I won’t say no to a ride.” I hear Stevie snort and can’t help the chuckle as I get onto Brooks’ back. Brooks stops and puts his hand out to block Stevie as we descend the stairs. I am about to ask what’s going on when I see the lights to what looks like an SUV turn on, and it drives off.
“That was weird,” I murmur.
“Probably just someone getting a fix,” Stevie states as we continue down the stairs and say good night to Brooks.
“So,” Stevie turns on her car and looks at me. “Night shift?”
I sigh and give her a small smile. “No more night shift.”
* * *
It’s aboutthree in the morning when I get into the small bathroom of the studio apartment. I know I will hear about my lack of rest from the staff when I get to the hospital for my infusion therapy, but it is what it is. I’ll just be happy to get this done and over with. I only have to go in every six months for the infusions, but it’s unpleasant, and the side effects can be rough, especially if I’m already having a red day.
Taking off my clothes, I toss them on the floor in a pile. I really need to get around to doing laundry. I think I’m down to my last pair of panties. I take a deep breath before turning the water temperature to cold. I have a hard time with heat, so I work as hard as possible to keep myself cool.
I wrap my long hair up in a twist and cover the mess of curls. I try to space out my hair washes because it’s such a process, and since I’m going to get infusions tomorrow, I may see if Janie will wash it for me afterward. I look over my slight frame. I’m pale; not exactly a normal thing out here in Southern California, but again, heat intolerance makes it so I stay out of the sun. My pale skin, bright eyes, and long black curls are pretty, in my opinion at least. However, my short stature and soft voice leave something to be desired. And the boobs, god, what I wouldn’t give for some bigger boobs. I groan as I play with my baby Bs, trying to push them up with my hands.
“Such bullshit,” I mutter before washing my face. “You could’ve at least given me tits or an ass,” I say to no one in particular before gripping the towel bar to balance myself while climbing into the tub. Nothing about this place is accessible. But my brother moved, and his new home has just as many stairs as Stevie’s, not to mention I want him to focus on his new family. I don’t have anywhere else to go. It’s best to stay here until I can maybe find another roommate.
I pull myself out of the shower and slip on my pajamas before heading to the living room, which also acts as our bedroom. Stevie is already on the couch sleeping, and I’d feel bad for waking her to move so we can pull out the mattress. Instead, I grab my comforters and make a little bed on the floor before setting my alarm on my watch to wake me up in three hours.
Tomorrow… Today is going to suck.
Chapter3
Derek
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR VIRGINIAAAAA!” Atlas bellows, grinning wide at me as I shoot him the most fatal of death stares. It has absolutely zero impact on the fucker. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO….” He inhales deeply, and as he’s about to sing the last part, he does one worse and brings out a fucking kazoo. The noise that comes out of the stupid plastic toy is enough to make me decide that I’m going to make Atlas’ death a slow one.
“Well,” I state calmly, placing my backpack on my station. “I want you to know that when Howard is of age and wants to seek revenge on me for your murder, I will understand.” As Atlas tries to calculate what I said, I hop over my table, running to tackle him. Atlas runs behind Fox, and I’m about to go through them both when I see a familiar set of black curls appear around the corner from the front of the shop.
“Oh!” Indy beams as she locks eyes with me. “Hi Derek! One second!” She runs away, and I stand up, glancing at Fox and Atlas, who seem equally confused.
“I thought she worked the night shift?” I mutter as Fox scratches his head.
“Stevie finally got her to give it up, thank god. I stayed up watching the cameras every damn night they were here. It’s been exhausting.” I nod, understanding. Waiting in the parking lot the other night threw me completely off. I’m still unsure why I felt the need to be here. I knew Brooks could handle anything, but I felt restless at home and couldn’t get comfortable until I saw them leaving safely that night.
Indy comes back around, and… goddamn it. She’s holding a gift bag with a happy birthday balloon and what appears to be a fucking cupcake. I shift uncomfortably as she walks over to me. “Happy Birthday!” She beams at me as she holds her arms out for me to take the items.
I glare over at the snickering Atlas and Fox. “Really?” I grumble to them. “You fuckers know I don’t do this shit. I outta beat your idiotic asses; maybe then y’all would get the fucking hint.” I watch as both their faces fall.
“Derek…” Fox grimaces, and I already know. I already know because, of course, this is how it would play out. Those two have nothing to do with the items in Indy’s hands. They are from her. I wince as I turn to look back at her and fuck. Her smile is still there, though I can tell it’s no longer genuine, and her eyes look glassy. I watch her hands shake slightly as she pulls the items back.
