Page 34 of Derek
“Indy,” I groan out, my voice full of pain. “Please, can’t you just accept that I’m wearing it?”
“I could, except you’re hiding it. Again, why?” I drop my shoulders as I let my body slide down the wall, resting my head in my hands.
“Because it’s easier if I live in denial, alright?” She kneels down in front of me and grips my hand, pulling it from my face.
“Denial about what?” she asks softly, her big blue eyes so round and innocent.
“Indy…” My plea is barely a whisper. I’m losing this battle, and I can’t. I can’t give in to this feeling. She comes closer, and I close my eyes as she wraps her slight frame around my chest and hugs me tight.
“It’s okay,” she whispers soothingly. “I’m glad you like the bracelet, and I’m glad you want to be my friend. I want to be yours too.” I could cry at this moment as relief washes over me. The feeling is fleeting, though. Guilt quickly replaces it. Guilt for not being man enough to tell her that I wear it for the same reason I burn that stupid fucking candle every damn night, because her being on my mind is my favorite thing. And having little reminders of her is the only thing that keeps me from losing my shit when I can’t see her. I hate this. I hate that I feel like a lovestruck teenager when she’s near. I’m not calm, I’m not articulate, and I sure as fuck ain’t confident. She makes me think about things I haven’t considered in years. I hate it, but I also hate howaddictedI am to it. Her laughs, her sighs, her smell, her hair… Everything about her makes me feel something, and that scares the shit out of me because I didn’t even have this kind of reaction with Justine, and I’ve been fucked up over her for nearly two decades. Indy has the power to quite literally destroy me.
Chapter14
Indy
“Oh my god.” Janie gasps as she looks at the dress I’m holding up. “That’s so fucking hot, girl. Go try it on!” Next weekend is Ren and Atlas’ anniversary, and shockingly, Ren’s parents are hosting a party to celebrate it. Ren’s parents have been openly against Atlas and Ren’s marriage since the start, but I think since Howie came into the picture, they’ve become more accepting, wanting to have the opportunity to be with their grandchild.
“I don’t thinkhotis what I should go for,” I say as I look at the black mini dress on the hanger. It is really sexy though, and I never wear anything to feel sexy. It’s so soft, with a high halter neck, sleeve cuts, and cut-outs at the chest and the sides of the waist. I would definitely need some kind of boob enhancer if I got this. “Maybe I could try it on…” I mutter, and Janie cheers.
“Thank god! Ren is wearing her old clothes, and Sunday is being a butthole.” Ren snorts at Janie.
“They are vintage, not old, and you said you like them!”
Janie waves her hands dismissively. “I do! But I also would like you to be slutty with me now and then.”
Raising a blonde brow, Ren shakes her head. “My mom, dad, and siblings will be at this party, “slutty” is not what I’m looking for. Plus, Atlas is on a mission to fuck me in their house, and I have to do everything in my power to keep that from happening.” Sunday laughs at our blonde friend as she continues to feed Howie his bottle.
“Ren, you could be covered in cow shit, and that man would still have sex with you.”
“That’s not even a joke,” Ren says flatly as I walk behind the curtain to change. “I have been, and he did.”
“Ash would never.” Sunday snorts out a laugh. “He would turn green, offer to bathe me, and then gladly go at me. Well, not now because I would kill him, but you know.”
“Know what?” I ask as I rip open the curtain and stare at my pale sister-in-law.
She looks at all of us and groans. “Okay, it’s super early.” She warns, and I nearly faint.
“You’re pregnant?” I whisper scream, and Sunday smiles softly.
“I am, but again, too early, guys. No one says anything.” We all take a moment and hug Sunday. Sunday has a teenage son that she had at about thirteen under unfortunate circumstances. Wade is amazing, and I love him to bits. He hit puberty last year, and between that and Howie being born, we were all taking bets on when she and my brother would start trying.
“You are going to need a sticky push-up bra.” Janie stands behind me and grabs my boobs, pushing them up and together. “Look at that.” She grins, and I have to admit, they look very nice up there.
I turn to Ren. “You sure this isn’t too much?” Ren shakes her head.
“You look amazing. Just stay away from my brother. He’ll fall in love with you.” She laughs, and I giggle.
“Hey, I could use a rich man in my life.” I give her a playful wink before returning to the dressing room to change again.
* * *
“Too skinny!”Nika, Stevie’s Croatian grandmother, states as she puts a massive bowl of potato soup in front of me. “Eat, put meat on you, then not so cold.”
“Baka!” Stevie hisses. “You can’t say that!”
“Ahh!” Nika waves her hands. “Can’t say this, can’t say that. I should just stay in back Stefa? That pleases you?” Stevie rubs her temples as I chuckle.
“No, no! It’s fine, Nika, this is delicious. Thank you.” I take a spoonful of the heavy soup and swallow it. Nika smiles and kisses the top of my head before taking her leave.
