Page 57 of Derek
“Just… stop.” Her voice sounds detached, and it takes me by surprise. She lets out a cold chuckle, “You know what? Fine Derek. This is it.”
“What is it?” I ask cautiously.
“You want to be alone, fine, be alone. I’m a nice person. I’m a good person, and I care about you. I want to make you feel happy and loved, but you slap me down at every turn.”
“I didn’t ask you to do this, any of it,” I say through gritted teeth.
“No shit! That’s the damn point! That’s what you do for the people you care about!”
“I don’t want you to care about me!” I bark, slamming the bottle on the counter. “Goddamn it! What is wrong with you people? I don’t want this! You want the cold truth, Indiana? Fine.” I can barely hear myself talk over the deafening pulse in my ears. I can’t do this anymore. It’s too much. She is too good, and if I don’t get her away, she will end me.
“When I was your age, I was happy and a naïve fucking idiot. Got married to my high school sweetheart and came home after work one night, my birthday actually, and found my best fucking friend balls fucking deep inside her on our dinner table.” I watch her wince, but I don’t stop. It’s time to get it all out so she understands why I need her to get the fuck out.
“My wife and best fucking friend had been having an affair behind my back for years. She said I wasn’t enough, that… that I didn’t show her I cared enough.” Licking my lips, I take a breath and look up at the ceiling, trying to hold the composure that is rapidly slipping away. “Darlin’, you have no idea. I went to work ten, twelve, and sometimes sixteen hours a day to make sure she could have anything she wanted. I thought,” letting out a cold chuckle, I shake my head. “I thought that by providing for her, by working so she didn’t have to, I was showing her that I cared.”
I look back to Indy, and her eyes hold a sadness that I don’t like seeing on her, and it breaks the final strands of my composure. A sob escapes, and I grip the counter to hold myself up. “It was bad enough that she did that to me and then said I was the reason. That I didn’t express my love properly. But for my best fucking friend, the man that grew up with me, the one that was like another brother to me. We worked together part-time. He would hang out with me, leave, go to my house, and fuck my wife. For years.” I whisper the last part when I feel Indy’s body on mine. She pulls me to the futon, where she lays me down and holds me. Nothing is said for a long time. She keeps me tightly against her while running her nails up and down my spine. It feels so good, so intimate. I grip her side and press my face into her chest. Her heartbeat is like a fucking melody.
“Derek,” she whispers while continuing her movements up and down my spine. I’ve decided it’s the best feeling in the world, and if I die right now, I’ll die peacefully. “I could tell you all the normal things. It’s her loss; that you deserve better, that it’s a reflection on them, not you.” I squeeze my eyes tighter, and I hold her to me. “But I get the feeling that you already know all of this. So all I will say is I am here for you. I am here, and you won’t push me away. You can try, but I’m pretty stubborn.” I snort and let out a wet chuckle against her as I loosen my grip, allowing my fingers to dance over the exposed flesh from where her shirt had lifted. I hear her sharp intake of air and the increase in her heart rate.Fucking hell.Now I feel the urge to see how much faster I can increase that big heart of hers.
Skimming my fingers down, I brush them over the waistband of her pajama shorts before moving back up. She lets out the softest of whimpers, and it’s like someone flipped a switch on my dick.
Lifting her shirt a little, just enough to see her belly button, I can’t stop myself from leaning down and placing a soft kiss over it.
“D-Derek?” She pants, and I close my eyes, a war waging on eternally.
“Yes or no, baby girl?” I ask, my fingers dipping in and out of her waistband.
“Uhh.. y-yes! Yes.” I watch her nod frantically. It’s so cute how eager she is. It’s also sad. She has no idea the darkness she is letting in, and I’m too tired to continue to fight it.
“I won’t be your boyfriend,” I state firmly as I grip the front of her throat, angling her soft face to look at me. “I am not husband material. I won’t date you. I don’t buy flowers, and you won’t be running up to me at work to give me hugs.” I use my free hand to start tugging down her shorts. “There will be no weekend getaways, no selfies, no flirty texts with butterflies. There will be no love.” I throw her shorts over my shoulder, refusing to break eye contact. “You deserve a man to worship your mind, body, and soul Indy, and I’m not that man. I won’t ever be. So I ask you again, yes or no, baby girl?” I run my finger up her slit and have to bite back a moan. She’s already wet.
“Awfully full of yourself, Rowe,” she smirks, though her body vibrates with anticipation. “I never said I wanted you as a boyfriend or a husband. I can and do date myself because I think I’m a delight and I don’t like flowers. Even if I did, I wouldn’t bet on you knowing which kind to get me, so I would buy my own. So, if you’re done, I would like you to start putting that arm I saved to good use.” Holy shit. That was so fucking hot. I think I just came a little in my jeans.
I slip my fingers between her wet lips and watch her expression as I press my thumb against her clit. Her eyes roll back, and she lets out the most sinful moan. I begin to push a finger at her entrance, dying to know how she feels inside. I didn’t get to feel her in the lake, and believe me, I’ve mourned that tragedy. As I go to push in, Indy stops me by gripping my wrist.
“Wait,” she pants as she stares at me. “I’m… I have a hard time getting off. I was lucky in the lake, but my meds and the MS…” I see the embarrassment etching on her face. “Just, when you’ve had your fill, it’s okay if I’m notthereyet.” I remove my hand from her center while slowly sitting up so as not to hurt my stitches.
“Have your past fucks done that?” I ask annoyance in my tone. “Just “had their fill” and left you?”
Indy raises a brow. “Well, I have had sex once. It was a long time ago, and… yeah, he did, but I mean, I get it. Sometimes I try for thirty-plus minutes and don’t get off. Derek? What’s wrong?”
I glare at her as I try to suppress my rage. Her first time…her first fucking timewas with some stupid, selfish fuck that didn’t even give her pleasure? “I am going to make you see stars, baby girl, and then when I’m done giving you the best pleasure of your life, I am going to go and find the shitstain you gave your virginity to, and I’m going to rip his dick off since he obviously can’t be trusted to use it properly.” I watch her mouth form an “O” before I slip my hand back between her legs.
“You tell me yes, no, or stop, understood?” She nods slowly as I push my middle finger inside her.
“Oh my god,” she breathes, and fuck, she’s tight and warm and so wet. I slip another finger in and watch with satisfaction as she lets out a cry.
“Spread those pretty thighs for me, Darlin’. Let me get in there.” I curl my fingers up, pressing against the soft walls.
“Derek!” She cries out, and it causes my resolve to snap. Her calling my name… my fucking name. I slide down and run my teeth over her clit before giving it a suck. “Oh my god! No one has… oh my god, if you stop, I will never talk to you again!” I chuckle lightly as I flick my tongue over her clit before sucking again. Her sweet little pussy continues to tighten, but it’s not enough, and I can tell it’s beginning to frustrate her.
“Hey,” I snap my gaze up when she growls and hits the futon with her fist. I roll her onto her side and crack her across the ass, which causes her to let out a cry. “This ain’t a race. You calm your pretty ass down. Throw another fit, and you’ll get more than that spankin’, got it?” Her lust-filled eyes fix on me as she nods. I lean down to the reddening mark on her ass cheek and press my lips to it before moving her back into position. I push my fingers in and feel the soft, spongy area. I’ve been stimulating her G-spot, but it isn’t enough.
“Tell me if I hurt you, got it?” I order as I slide my fingers further back.
“Oh!” she cries out as I start pressing up and moving my fingers back and forth. “Oh, what’s that! Holy crap! Oh my god!” She screams, trying to move away but arching into my hand simultaneously. I let out a low chuckle while taking my other hand and rubbing her clit.
“That’s my girl,” I say softly as I watch her writhe under me. “You’re doing so well. I can feel your pretty little pussy tightening. Are you going to come for me, baby girl?” She whimpers as she arches her back. She’s so beautiful. Indy is an innocent, kind angel that has fallen into the demon’s den, and here I am, coaxing out her darkness, setting it free.
