Page 40 of Derek
Indy
“Indiana!” Ash yells as he storms into Derek’s house and into the kitchen. Obviously, Derek told my brother what I’m planning to do, and I will have to talk to Derek about this ultimate betrayal once he gets back home. “If you think for one second, I won’t tie your ass to a chair in my house, you got another thing coming.” He runs his hands through his hair as he paces. “Virginia? You’re flying across the goddamn country to fucking Virginia with Dickhead Derek!”
“Don’t call him that,” I snap, and he shoots me a warning look.
“Indiana, I am so close to–”
“To what? To sending me to live with Mom and Neil? Guess what, Ash, I am a fucking adult!” I yell in his face. “You’re not the boss of me! You’re worried? Fine, be worried. But I’m not going to sit in a chair and not move just to fucking please you!”
“Right,” he scoffs and shakes his head. “But you sure as shit are willing to call me when you’re in trouble.” I raise a brow in challenge.
“Really? Because I can’t remember the last time I asked for your help. I’ve been handling my life the best I can without you!”
“Yeah, you just replaced me with Derek!” He snaps, and I wince. That one hits me because it’s exactly what I’m afraid I’m doing.
“I know,” I croak out, looking away. “Which is one of the reasons I need to go. I need to help him. He won’t ask for help, Ash, but he needs it.”
“Indy,” his voice is softer as he speaks. “Listen, I understand. Your ridiculously massive heart is in the right place, but Derek is from a farm in a small town, Indy. You will have little help if you relapse. You’ll be three hours ahead of anyone here and thousands of miles away.”
“I know,” my voice betrays me and waivers slightly. “Ash, I have to do this. I have to know…” I blink and look up at the ceiling as tears roll down my face. “I have to know if this is it. If I’m really not useful anymore.”
“Indy! You are useful!”
“I was a nurse, Ash! I was helping save kids’ lives! Now all I can do is put on a princess dress and sing, and there are days when that is too fucking much!” I shout as the front door shuts. I watch Derek cautiously walk into the kitchen.
“You!” I point at him through my tears. “I am so mad at you. You snitched to my brother?”
“W-what? No! Indy, I told–” Ash cuts Derek off as he stares at me.
“Derek came by Hel’s to get his stuff because he quit. While there, he mentioned going to Virginia. I asked about you, and he said to mind my business. So no, he didn’t squeal, I just know you.” Ash takes in a deep breath before releasing it and turning to Derek. “I’m not happy about this. Is she going to be okay?” I get ready to tell my brother off, but Derek starts talking.
“Yes, she will be safe.”
“You swear? Virginia, I mean it I–”
“I will die before I let anything happen to her.” Oh, that’s an interesting flip-flop my heart is doing. Ash is hesitant, but nods and shakes Derek’s hand.
“You know Mama J is going to expect you back.” Derek chuckles.
“Yeah, yeah… she and I just need a cool-down period. I won’t tell her that, though.” Ash turns and walks over to me, hugging me tightly to his chest. I can hear his rapid heartbeat, and I soften. Sometimes I forget his anger is just misplaced anxiety.
“You are useful,” He whispers into my hair. “Indy, don’t listen to that voice, listen to me. I’m real, and I’m telling you that my world is better, all those kids you visit, their lives are better because of you. Hell, Derek’s poor excuse for a life is better because of you.”
“Hey,” Derek glares at my brother, but Ash shrugs.
“You make our worlds better, and I just worry that overdoing it will cause you to lose your smile.” I hug my big brother before walking him to the door and promising to text him when we land in Virginia.
As I shut the door, I turn and see Derek leaning against the entryway, his arms crossed over his wide chest. God, he’s delicious looking.
“Are you alright?” His voice is so soft and caring, damn it, the lady boner. He’s got to stop. If he isn’t going to let me ride him like a mechanical bull, then he needs to stop making me feel things in my lady parts.
“Yeah,” I give him a smile. “I’m going to finish getting things ready, and then I’ve got to call and make sure Sunday and Luca are set to handle the visits to the hospital while I’m gone.”
“For what it’s worth,” Derek’s voice stops my progression down the hall. “My poor excuse for a life is better because of you.” I whip around to look at him, but he’s already turned to go back in the kitchen, leaving me standing here with blue lady balls and an arrhythmia.
* * *
I let outa tired breath while staring out the plane window and stretching my legs. I can’t help my smile. Derek made sure to get us on a larger plane, with a real first-class section, and made me sit up here so I have room to move around. I can’t believe I told him I would go to Virginia to help his family. Honestly, I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m tiny, weak, and unable to take stairs. I relapse here, I’m fucked. But, I don’t know… that look of absolute helplessness on his face, it broke my heart.
