Page 63 of Ash
I feel a tremble in my bottom lip and decide I’m going to need a lot more booze to get me through the night.
* * *
“Ash,”Atlas pats my back as I continue to lie on my tattoo table. “Bud, come on.” I groan as I shove him off.
“What?” I grumble, sitting up and wincing. I’m completely hungover from last night. I drunk-dialed Sunday, no less than a hundred times. She never answered, of course, which only upset me more. I laid in my bed, but I couldn’t stay there. I kept waiting for the knock that would never come. I wanted to listen to her snore, I wanted to debate her on aliens, I wanted her in bed with me. But that wasn’t happening, so I left the apartment and came to Hel’s, where I continued to drink until I passed out. Or at least I think that is what happened.
“It’s opening time,” Derek grumbles. “Wake your–what the fuck did you do?” I furrow my brows as I look from Derek to a snickering Atlas.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Fox groans as he looks at me. I follow their gazes, and it’s then I see it on my sternum. A new tattoo. Of an orange Starburst, but instead of the wrapper sayingStarburstit saysSun. With the line work shaky, and the orange is bleeding through the lines.
“Not my finest work,” I mutter, trying to remember when I did that. I look over at my station, it’s all clean and put away. Did I really clean my station before passing out?
“Vanessa!” Fox screams and I feel my stomach drop out of my asshole as a flash of me usingVanessa–Fox’s prized machine–comes into my mind. “I will fucking murder you.”
“Woah! Woah there!” Atlas gets between us, a fucking brave soul considering the rage on Fox’s face. “Go clean Vanessa up and I’ll try to fix the mess going on with Ash’s chest.” Fox snarls at me one more time before clutching Vanessa to his chest and stomps off. I sigh and follow Atlas to his station, laying down as he preps his machine and grabs the ink cups. After close inspection, it looks like the tattoo is only an hour or two old, and while we never would tattoo over fresh work for the public, I’ll take my chances with this and if it’s fucked, well, it’s my own fault.
“Wanna talk about it?” Atlas asks, loading the cups with orange, white, yellow, and black inks.
I shrug as he cleans off the small tattoo I did while sketching around it with a marker. “Not much to say,” I sigh as the buzzing of the machine, usually a familiar, calming noise for me, starts to irritate my already throbbing head. “Long story short, Sunday overheard me saying that I don’t love her and decided she wasn’t staying around and told me to fuck off.” I pinch the bridge of my nose with my fingers. “I don’t understand how her blurting that out makes me the bad guy!”
“I think it was more so your confession to all of us at such a high level,” Atlas says flatly as he continues the line. Fuck, that hurts. I grimace as I try to focus on the conversation.
“Yeah, I get that. But like, she didn’t even give me a chance to explain.”
“Explain what?” Fox huffs.
“That it’s not that I don’t love her, I just… can’t act on those feelings.”
“Ha!” Fox snorts. “Boy, seems like I was in a similar boat and you fuckers told me I was a chickenshit.” Rolling my eyes, I shake my head.
“This is not the same at all.”
“I dunno.” Atlas smirks while inking his machine. “Sounds kind of the same.”
“It’s not the same. Sunday has Wade.”
“And?” Derek speaks up, and I look over at him incredulously.
“Don’t talk to me, Virginia, you did something to upset my sister. I haven’t figured out what exactly, but I know it was you.” I watch his one eye twitch ever so slightly before he turns around and starts setting up his station.
“If you want to win her back,” Atlas says, bringing my attention back to him. “You should try speaking her love language, and I guarantee words are not her language.”
“I never said I loved her!” I groan.
“You kind of did,” Fox leans back in his chair. “You just said you can’t act on it, which is stupid.”
“It’s not stupid!” I snap defensively. “What if she falls out of love with me? What if she ruins me forever? What if, when she leaves, she takes Wade with her? So, then I lose both the people I’m in love with? Why in the fuck would I want to do that?”
“Because,” Atlas sighs as he wipes down my chest before handing me the mirror. “You are already doing it. And right now, you have two options. One will definitely lead you down a path where you lose them both forever, and that’s currently the one you’re on, in case you didn’t already know. If you fix this and choose the other, you may get to be their person forever.” He shrugs as I look over the tattoo. It’s a much crisper, cleaner and larger version of the original orange Starburst with the logo sayingSunshine. It’s the dumbest tattoo I’ve ever gotten, and I love it more than any of my others.
“So, what do you know about love languages?” I ask while putting my shirt back on as Atlas strips down his table.
“Well, everyone is different. Like, Ren is a complete ‘words of affirmation’. That girl is all about being listened to and praised. I send her messages all day, making sure she remembers she is the literal definition of perfection.”
“Wow,” Derek says blankly. “I think that is the most sickening thing I’ve ever heard. But if Ren’s happy with your stupid ass, that’s what matters.”
“I’ll have you know she’s elated with my stupid ass.” Atlas flips Derek off before turning back to me. “She also is appreciative of acts of service. But words are definitely her thing.”
