Page 44 of Ash
“I promise.” The door opens and a woman walks in with a massive bouquet of roses. “What are those? Someone sent her roses?” I can’t even try to hide the tinge of jealousy in my voice.
Janie shrugs. “If you or the boys didn’t do it, I’m assuming they’re from Stevie and Indy.” We walk into the room, and I see a very drugged Sunday lying in the hospital bed, and she’s crying.
“Why is she crying?” I ask Janie. “Sunshine, are you in pain?” I ask as I round the bed to get to her head.
“Look what Josh sent me!” she cries out while pointing to the flowers. “Aren’t they beautiful!” My body stiffens.
“Josh?” I question and look back at Janie and Wade. Wade seems as tense and annoyed as me but Janie…
“Outside, Red,” I order, making sure to use my authoritative voice so she doesn’t fight me. Once we’re out of the room, I whirl on her. “Josh? What the fuck, Janie?”
Janie flinches slightly. “Look, he’s been texting her here and there, of course she’s been blowing him off, but he found out about the surgery. He’s trying to get her back.”
“What? Does he think the third time's the charm? I mean, come on! Sunday is just high; she doesn’t know what she’s saying.” I go to walk back in, but Janie’s voice stops me.
“He wants to have a relationship with Wade, and he wants to really settle down. She’d be able to stay here and open the ballet classes with his help.”
“She doesn’t wanthishelp,” I snarl out, my blood pressure feels like it’s going through the roof.
“No, maybe not right now. But she does want stability, and she wants someone to want her like she deserves. If he’s willing to put in the work…” She trails off and I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut.
“No,” I say finally. “She doesn’t want him. And I won’t let him around Wade.”
“Ash, you aren’t her boyfriend, and you’re not Wade’s father. You wanted to be nothing more than her friend and neighbor. You don’t get to meddle.” I don’t respond as I walk back into the room. Sunday is passed out, and Wade is sitting in the chair next to the bed, glaring at the flowers.
“Fuck that guy.” I grab the flowers and drop them in the trash bin, causing Wade to snort.
“If Mom goes back to–”
“She won’t. She’s just goofy from the anesthesia,” I assure him, even though I am less than confident. She wants stability, and someone to want her the way she deserves. He was married to her and couldn’t do it, then he stole Wade’s chicken and looked ready to kill her when he got out of his truck and came at me.
“Can’t you just date her?” Wade’s words steal my fucking breath. I look over at him as I feel the panic rising.
“What? No. What?” I have ringing in my fucking ears.
“Do you not like her?” he asks.
“Uhhh… yeah, I mean she’s great.” Fuck, it’s hot in here.
“Do you think she’s pretty?”
“Mhm, yep sure.” It cannot be healthy to have my heart rate this high. Thank god I am in the hospital for when I inevitably pass out because of this conversation.
“Is it… Is it because of me?” Everything stops. My anxiety, dread, the ringing, the palpations, it’s gone with that one question, and I am left feeling ice cold.
“Wade,” I breathe out, turning to give him my full attention. “How on Earth could you think that? You know I like you.”
His face looks pained as he stares at his hands. “Just because you like someone doesn’t mean you want to be their dad. I get that, and if that’s your reason, just know I-I don’t need a dad. I’ve never had one and… and I think I’m doing okay. My mom is a great dad. The best dad, actually.” His voice cracks at the end as does my heart.
I don’t need a dad.I know that mantra, I used to say it every day. Fuck, I may have to say it tonight when I go home and all I want to do is call the person that is supposed to have the answers to these issues.
“Wade–”
“Ahh…” He wipes the tears from his face and forces out a laugh. “Sorry, I don’t know where those came from. Um, just… I will try really hard to not make it weird for you if you want to be with my mom, but not have to deal with me. I just wanted you to know that.”
I grab the kid by his shirt and pull him up and hug him to my chest. “Wade.” My own voice cracks as I speak. “Bud, I need you to understand that anyone would be lucky to have your momand you. You are the greatest kid I’ve ever met and…” I pull away and take a breath as a tear runs down my face. “If I were to have a child, I would want it to be you. So don’t ever think that way.”
I watch as Wade breaks in front of me, his slim shoulders roll inward, and his head hangs low. “I’ll never be enough for someone to be my dad,” he sobs out. “Mom’s going to be old, and I’ll be out of the house before any man wants to be with her, just like your mom.” My brows push together as he continues. “My mom is so strong and brave and pretty. And she’s so lonely, and it’s because of me. If it weren’t for me–”
