Page 34 of Ash
“Come on, Sunshine,” I look at Ash’s exhausted face before peering down at his outstretched arm. I don’t think he slept for more than five minutes last night, so I can’t blame him for being tired. I wake up a lot, I always have, I’m just a light sleeper, plus I need to pee, a lot. Every time I woke up, he was awake. Staring at his phone, the ceiling, whatever. My guess is sleeping in the same bed as me wasn’t all he thought it would be.
“He hates me,” I whisper as I stare at the seat next to mine.
“Hey.” Ash sits next to me and pats my leg. “He doesn’t hate you.” He must notice the sadness in my features because he lets out a sigh before standing up. “Wait here,” he whispers and kisses my forehead before getting up and heading out of the bus, leaving me alone in the vehicle. I stare out the window and see he caught up to Wade. Both of them are talking expressively, their arms waving. Ash jerks his hand and gestures to the bus and Wade slumps his shoulders and heads this way.
“Hey, mom,” he says as he walks up the steps. I watch him stiffen uncomfortably as he rubs the back of his neck. “I’m sorry for acting like a jerk.”
“It’s fine,” I state firmly as I go to stand up. “Come on, let’s go.”
Wade looks out the window behind him before turning back to me. “No, I shouldn’t be that way. I just… I’m mad about a lot of things right now, mom. I was excited about the flyboarding, but I shouldn’t be mean to you.”
“What are you mad about, son?” I ask, feeling horrible that I have no idea what has been bothering him. I’ve been so focused on the move, both the one to the apartment and the upcoming one to Alabama. Plus, work and everything else… I rub the ache in my chest from the growing mom-guilt.
“I don’t want to move,” he mutters. “I like it here. I feel like we have a family now, and I get to talk to the guys about drawing, and I have friends. Plus…” I watch his eyes drift out of the bus and I follow his gaze to the tattooed man who is slipping into a wetsuit.Oh, no. No. No. No. Nooooo.
“Wade…” My voice is pained, which is fitting because I am full of that emotion. “Ash and I are just–”
“I know,” Wade interrupts firmly. “I know you two are just friends, mom. I’m not an idiot. I just… I’m mad that I have to say goodbye to everyone. They are my home. I like Ash and I was excited to go flyboarding with him. I know that’s not an excuse to be a jerk. If I’m going to be an asshole, it shouldn’t be to the person that loves me more than anyone else.” I clutch my chest at his words and choose to not mention the language this time.
“We will talk more about this when we get home, alright?” I say, while giving him a hug. “Until then, let's go so you can give me a heart attack watching you on that board.”
* * *
“Mom! Wasn’t that amazing?”Wade is vibrating as he hops off the board that Ash is attached to. This whole afternoon has been terrifying. Watching Ash strapped onto this hoverboard contraption as high-pressure water shoots out while he holds whomever and takes them around, flipping and twisting. I would be impressed if it wasn’t my son he just did a corkscrew with.
I force a smile and nod hesitantly. “That was…” I shake my head, unsure of what to even say. It looks so dangerous.
“Alright.” Ash’s gaze lands on me. “Your turn, Sunshine.”
I feel everything inside me sink as I stare at him in shock. “Have you lost your mind? I ain’t getting on that thing, I’ll be killed.”
Ash’s face falls. “Do you really think I would let anything bad happen to you?” His words hit me deeper than they should. I feel my heart rate picking up for other non-dying reasons.
“Do it!” Celeste grins from the dock as she sits on Neil’s lap. The two of them are cute, they have been inseparable this entire afternoon except for the short moment when Celeste got on the flyboard with Ash.
“I can’t.” I shift uncomfortably. “I am not a good swimmer.” I think I’ve won the fight until my son–my own flesh and fucking blood looks at me with the eyes that I created for him and smirks.
“Just let him hold you, mom. Ash is strong, and he already said he won’t let anything happen to you.”Disowned. He is disowned.Him and his fucking chicken can go find their way together. I glare at him with the intensity of a thousand suns as Celeste hops up and helps me to Ash.
“I-I’m really nervous,” I whisper hesitantly as I look down at the water.
“I won’t make you get up here.” He shrugs before stretching out his hand. “But you can trust me, Sunshine, and honestly, I really think you will like this.”
Fuck, I am going to regret this. Celeste and Neil help steady me as I move to the edge of the dock.
“Arms around my neck,” Ash instructs. “Are you able to wrap your legs around my waist?” he asks over the loud noise of his board.
I scoff. “I managed just fine the other day. Plus, I was a ballerina, stripper, and then became a pole dancing instructor. I think I know how to hold myself up.” Even though I say this, my entire body shakes as I reach out and wrap myself around him. I let out a sharp cry as we lower slightly, but then we are moving and— holy shit.
I look around at the beautiful landscape, the glittering water and I feel… free. A laugh escapes me as he spins us around a couple times.
“Having fun?” he calls out, and I spread my arms out and lay my head back.
“This is amazing!” I giggle, and he spins us again before pulling me to him.
“Trust me?” he asks, his mouth an inch from mine. I bite my lip and nod softly. The realization that I do trust him startles me, and I don’t know when or how it happened. But someway, somehow, this man has found a way past some of my walls.
Squealing, I grip him tightly as he lowers downward before flying back up and sending us into a backflip. I scream in excitement as he does it once more, drenching us in the water from the board. He straightens us before moving me into a bridal carry and spinning us again. I can’t remember the last time I’ve had so much fun.
