Page 55 of Atlas
“Derek?” I ask as I open the door to see the massive man before me. Derek is a sight to behold, and though I’m sworn to secrecy, Janie confessed that before Fox, she had a crush on Derek. It’s easy to see why. Derek isn’t built like the men out here. He’s tall and broad and rugged, he’s got that dark hair and scruffy beard that has hints of grey in it. Plus he’s a complete mystery, which adds to his attractiveness.
“Why are you here? In my parents’ house? At my bedroom door?” I watch as he grunts in discomfort as he rubs the back of his neck and grabs something off the table in the hallway. A large round box with blue roses.
“I drew the short straw, so I had to bring them to you for Atlas.” He mutters before placing them in my hands and turning to leave. He stops at the top of the stairs and turns around. “It’snot my business, I don’t want it to be my business and I’m never mentioning it again.” It’s almost a warning tone in his voice as he looks at me, and I realize this might be the most I’ve heard him speak at once.
“Some people go through terrible things in their lives and they don’t know how to deal with it. It usually goes one of two ways. Yourboy toydecided to go the “make everyone laugh and believe everything is great” way. But when people go that route, they don’t always know how to handle situations when they truly aren’t great, and they shut down. He needs you right now. Anyway, have a good one.”
“What’s the other way?” I ask for an unknown reason. I watch Derek’s large, tattooed hand grip the banister as he stops himself on the first step.
“The other way to what Lauren?” He asks, his voice low and distant.
“You… you said there are usually two ways, what’s the other?” He looks back over his shoulder and his usually coppery-brown eyes look eerily dark.
“Go call Atlas. He is sick over this and it’s annoying as shit.” And with that, Derek walks the rest of the way down the steps, leaving me standing at the top of the stairs, holding a giant box of roses and feeling more confused than ever.
I sit the flowers down on my dresser before grabbing my phone and bringing up Atlas’ contact. I sigh as I sit in my chair and set the phone against the lamp to prop it up as I hit the video call button.
I’m not even sure there was a full ring before Atlas answered.
“Hey,” I say softly as he moves around to prop up his phone.
“Hey,” He smiles weakly and his poor face looks so exhausted. He’s unshaven, his skin is pale, eyes bloodshot and the dark circles are the most prominent feature on his face. “So,” His voice is rough as he clears his throat and I see hissignature playful grin appear. “I was going to call you beautiful, but that doesn’t seem like enough, so I’ve acquired five other possibilities. You let me know which you like.”
I watch as he reaches over and produces a notepad before coming back to the phone. “So, I have Goddess–of course, and then there’s, Radiant, Recherché–yes, I googled a French word and learned how to pronounce it, Bootylicious, and Lavish. Now, Bootylicious, though old school, is my favorite and I really feel like you could make it trendy again but, I am really interested in hearing your opinion.”
I stare at him through the screen, my eyes stinging and my mouth open. He’s so sweet, he’s so perfect… I…
“I loke you.” I stare at him in shock and embarrassment.
“Loke?” He repeats with a light chuckle. “Is that like the in-between stage?”
I groan and smack my face with my hand. “I’m such a spaz.”
“Hey Princess, look at me.” I peek through my fingers to see his real smile. The genuine heart warming smile that makes my heart do concerning things. “I loke you too.” He says softly. “Very, very much.”
My stomach twists before snapping open, and I give him a small smile. “I want to come home.”
He lets out a long breath. “Thank God, because I can’t do this alone. I need you Ren.” The desperation in his voice makes me want to reach through the phone and hug him.
“It’s probably a stupid question,” I laugh nervously as I tuck a stray lock of hair behind my ear. “But how are you?”
Atlas is silent for a moment as he looks me over, his red-rimmed eyes bore into me with such intensity it’s hard not to look away. “I’m not okay,” He manages, “And I mean that in every way possible Princess.” He runs his hands over his face as he lets out a breath. “I feel like my boat has taken on too much water and I just threw my life raft away.”
I wince at the pain on his face, the haunted stare, his dark circles. “Atlas–”
“When I am at my wit’s end,” He interrupts, “When I am at my lowest point, I… God Ren, please don’t think less of me for what I’m about to say.” His voice is pleading, and it causes my anxiety to rise. What is he talking about? What does he do?
Licking his lips, Atlas continues to speak. “I have, or had this arrangement with my mother. I would go over and talk to her, tell her every thing going wrong in my life for about thirty minutes or so and she would give me motherly advice and then I’d pay her and leave.”
“Wait,” I blink and shake my head, trying to wrap my brain around what he said. “You pay your mom to talk to you… like a mom?” I watch him flinch and nod slowly.
“It’s the only way I can get any sort of halfway decent advice from her, well usually the last couple of times it’s been her just patronizing me and then the other day when you went to your parents she basically told me my problems were pointless and that she never wanted me, but that’s not the point.”
“No,” I state firmly, stopping him from pushing away his feelings. “Do not do that, Atlas, that is the point. You can feel hurt by that. You should feel hurt! I feel hurt for you.” How could a mother act that way towards her child? How could anyone act that way to Atlas?
“I just,” I hear him intake a shaky breath. “I just don’t know what is broken in me that makes me unlovable. What did I do wrong?” His voice cracks and I can’t handle it anymore. I cannot handle being away from him one more day, hour, minute. I stand up and start grabbing my bags.
“What are you doing, Princess?” He asks as I grab my phone.
