Page 69 of My Husband's Wife
Fifty-Nine
I close my eyes and hope that I die fast. I imagine the van hurtling down the cliff side. My life flashes through my mind. Growing up. Mum. Nan. Happy memories. I met Hugo and it was love at first sight. When I thought I couldn’t love anymore, I gave birth to Caiden. I lost Emily. Letting out a cry, I wait for the clutch to be released – but it doesn’t happen. I open my eyes. Hugo pulls the handbrake back on.
‘I’m sorry about everything I put you through. I wish things could have been different but the cards weren’t mine to play. I did what I had to do to survive but you’ll never understand. I can see that now. I’m going to make it up to you, okay?’
‘I don’t want anything from you. I just want to be with Caiden.’ Tears fall down my face. The thought of going over that cliff has made me feel more alive than ever. I don’t want to die.
He leans over and kisses me on the lips, like he used to do all those years ago. In another life I’d have melted and told him how much I love him, but that life is over. He opens the driver’s door.
‘I can’t live this life anymore. You and Caiden deserve more. Emily deserves more. I’m no good to anyone. You were right about everything. I killed Theo and took his life as my own. I threatened Cynthia and I did everything she said I did. All because of one stupid mistake as a kid. There’s no place in this world for me after what I’ve done.’ Tears form in the corners of his eyes. ‘Goodbye, Eva.’
He slams the door and begins to walk to the top of the stone steps that lead to the small shingly beach below.
I hate him, I really do but I can’t let him take his own life. Yes, he’s evil, calculating, manipulative and a murderer, and he needs to pay for what he’s done. I wonder how Caiden would feel if he ever found out that I let his father die. I’m not like Hugo; I can’t carry on as normal and pretend that none of this happened and move on, and I doubt that Nicole or Madison can either. After one final struggle, I manage to free my hands. I reach over and untie the binds that are fixing my body to the passenger seat and I fling the van door open.
Limping towards the top of the steep stone steps, I carefully walk down them one by one while holding onto the rail. With each step, the wound on my ankle stings. The moon is reflected in the sea. The wind almost sends me flying, and the rain pelts at my face, making it almost impossible to see too far ahead. A huge cloud starts to block the moon’s light. I’m in the dark, but I can hear the crashing of breakers on the pebbly shore.
‘Hugo?’
As I reach the bottom, I step onto the stones and keep calling his name. I’m soaked through and my hair is plastered to my face, including that bloody fringe. I struggle as my feet sink into sand and stone with every step, then I eventually reach the shoreline. With one of my hands shielding my eyes from the torrential downpour, I scan the ground. That’s when I see a shadowy lump ahead. I limp over to it and kneel beside it and I begin feeling my way through Hugo’s coat and boots.
‘Hugo,’ I call out, hoping that if he’s in the sea, he’ll hear me and come back. I glance back at the rock face. It looks like it wants to swallow me up. Hugo is nowhere to be seen. I spot his top crashing to shore on a wave, and I yell at the sea, ‘Hugo.’
I cry into his coat before I slip it over my shoulders, then I hear something jangling from the pocket – the van keys. I glance once more at the sea and I know that Hugo is gone forever. It’s over.
Sixty
Eva
Two days later
I’m sitting at our table. Zach has packed his bags, and Mum is respectfully waiting in the kitchen. I’ll pack once he’s gone and maybe I’ll move back in with Mum for a bit, once I’ve worked my notice at the Sea Horse. The house is going to have to go. Hugo didn’t die by suicide when we lived in Malvern, and the insurance money isn’t mine; the investigation will bring all that up. All I’ll get to keep is the equity Hugo and I had in our house at Malvern before he died, which I’m not scoffing at. I’m going to need every penny. Of course, I am a victim in all this. I had no idea Hugo had lied all these years, or that he murdered his brother. Mum and I haven’t explained any of this to Caiden, but I will have to say something soon because the newspapers are already reporting some of our story.
‘I love you, Eva. That wasn’t a lie.’ Zach picks up his bag.
Caiden will miss him and I will too, but I’ve had enough. Is it so hard to find genuine love? I thought I had, twice, but each time was a lie. ‘You inserted yourself into my life when I was vulnerable. I believed you.’
‘I was vulnerable too, Eva. I was genuinely grieving for my brother.’
‘You never did tell me how you found me.’
‘You want me to tell you?’ He throws his bag down, not in a temper, more in frustration.
‘Yes. It creeps me out that you targeted me, got to know me and worked your way into my bed, my life, my son’s life. I even married you!’
‘I’d spent years looking for Hugo and Theo. Years.’ He runs his fingers through his hair and paces towards me. ‘After the incident, they both ended up in care, so it made it impossible to find them. Of course, they were never convicted of my Justin’s murder; and it was their abusive homelife that got them taken off their mother.’ He shakes his head and swallows. ‘When my mum died, I found Justin’s old school photos and I recognised one of the kids. It was Hugo. He was the boy who I saw stabbing Justin from inside that wooden playhouse. I searched online for him by name and his obituary came up, the obituary that you sent to the paper.’ He paused and looked out at the sea below. ‘I searched for you and I found you. After that, I put the feelers out, sharing Hugo’s school photo and his obituary photo online in the hope of finding his twin, and some people had said there was a man in Devon with similar features so I spent more time targeting this area. That’s how I met Nicole.’
‘How could you lie all that time?’
‘Because I love you, I fell in love with you. Yes, I started coming to your bereavement group to get to know you better. I thought you might know more about Hugo’s brother, though I soon found out that you didn’t know he existed at all. By that time, I was already in love with you. I knew if I told you that I’d inserted myself into your life to investigate your husband’s brother, you’d dump me.’
‘And look how that worked out for you.’
‘If you’re going to be like this, there’s no point talking to you. I’m being honest here. I fell in love with you. I didn’t want to lose you. I love Caiden. What I did was wrong. You have every right to hate me.’
‘It was wrong, and for the record, I don’t hate you. I just don’t trust you and I’m sorry about what happened to your brother. I can’t imagine what you went through seeing him killed like that.’
‘But you’re casting me aside.’
