Page 5 of My Husband's Wife
‘Okay.’
‘It wasn’t just any toy; it was the one that Hugo used to have on his dashboard. I bought it for Hugo before Caiden was born because he used to watch them nest outside our house, then he lost it when we were on holiday.’ I shrug as I have no idea how it could have gone missing. ‘I knew he liked it so I helped Caiden buy Hugo the exact same raven the Christmas before he died. As soon as he opened the gift, Hugo put it on his dashboard and it never came off. He literally treasured it.’ I pause. ‘When Hugo’s car…’
Zach shifts away from me and looks up at the ceiling and I know mentioning Hugo has ruined our first night together in our new home. Not once has he tried to erase Hugo from mine and Caiden’s past so I’m not sure why he suddenly looks so distant. I continue speaking in the hope he’ll mellow again. ‘Well, I thought that raven went down with Hugo, and now Caiden has it.’
Zach sighs and speaks in a matter-of-fact tone. ‘Could Caiden have found the one that got lost? Or maybe your mum bought it for him.’
‘She’d have told me.’
‘Is it possible that Hugo never had the raven in his car when he died?’
Thoughts are awhirl in my mind. Could Hugo have given it to Caiden? If so, why, and how come Caiden never mentioned that he had it? ‘I don’t know. All I know is that Hugo was in that car and he died and I always thought that raven was in the car too.’
That day still haunts me. I’d been away with Mum. I’d missed the calls from the police as we pulled up the next morning to see police tape and officers everywhere. That’s when I learned what had happened to Hugo. Hugo hadn’t wanted me to go away that Saturday night to watch a show in London with Mum and Caiden, that was one of the reasons we argued. He never wanted me to go anywhere without him. I gasp, feeling momentarily suffocated by how much he cared. When I got back home and the police officer told me what had happened, I couldn’t breathe. My mother caught me as I collapsed, and Caiden cried so loud, I was deafened to everything around me. Weeks later, they confirmed that the DNA of the body in the car matched that of my husband.
Zach grips my hand under the quilt and I flinch. ‘Sorry, I was in a world of my own. You’re right, maybe Mum did buy it for Caiden. That’s all I can think of.’
The alternative is unthinkable. Had Hugo left the raven for Caiden, knowing that he was going to die? Had he made our son swear to never tell me he had it?
Four
A month has passed and we’ve settled in nicely. I’ve filled the house with soft furnishings, completing the look with bright, abstract seascapes. As I chop up some apple and spread it with peanut butter for Caiden, he comes running in like a tornado and begins eating. Zach grabs his tool bag and kisses me. ‘See you later and don’t stress. You’re going to be amazing today. Oh, and I can definitely pick Caiden up from school later so no need to rush away on your first day.’ Zach leaves just as a message pops up in the parents’ WhatsApp group.
Nicole: A few of us are meeting for coffee on Saturday. It would be amazing if you could join us.
Caiden loves playing with Nicole’s ten-year-old son, Aaron, and I really like Nicole. We chat every day when dropping our boys off at school. She messages me witty parent memes most days, and they make me smile. I never expected to make friends this fast and it feels brilliant. I reply with a yes and a smiley emoji.
I can’t even think about Saturday, right now. First, I need to get through today. I feel sick with nerves. Being a wedding planner is a job I love and today I start work at the Sea Horse Hotel.
‘Mum, we’re going to be late and Aaron will wonder where I am.’
While Caiden washes his hands in the kitchen sink, I check myself one last time in the full-length mirror next to the coat rack. I think the pink suit is perfect, along with the silk frilly blouse dotted with cherries. I ruffle my loose blonde curls a little.
‘Mum, you look really pretty and you’re really clever too.’ Caiden, my thoughtful little boy, is beaming at me in our reflection.
I crouch to his level and straighten his school tie. ‘Thank you.’ I kiss his forehead. ‘And you look smart too, son. Let’s go.’ We go to fist bump, move our fists and make a pretend explosion with them while wiggling our fingers. He laughs and all of a sudden, I don’t feel as nervous.
* * *
After catching up with school news from Nicole, I leave Caiden at school and drive to the Sea Horse Hotel – my new work home. It’s superbly designed and Instagram perfect. Swings, decorated trees, and a pond half covered with lily pads.
My new colleague, Hallie, walks me around the hotel showing me everything. This is the first time we’ve met in person. She’s showed me the spa, the treatment rooms, the ceremony room and the lavish reception – finally she takes me to my office, and I love it. The high-ceilinged room overlooks the perfect gardens that stretch back into thick, lush woodland. I have a sash window, a ceiling rose and built-in bookshelves. ‘Do I share this office with anyone?’ This can’t be all mine, surely.
‘No,’ she says with only the slightest West Country accent. Her glossed lips reflect the light from the ornate chandelier above me. ‘We’re really happy you’re here. The last wedding planner left two months ago, so I’ve been bumbling through the job. I don’t know how you deal with the stress of it all.’
‘It’s challenging, but I do.’
‘I have heard those words a few times.’ She laughs and points a manicured finger at me. I’m guessing that Hallie is around twenty-five. ‘Anyway, I work in admin but I will be available to assist you too, so if you need me at any point, just shout.’ She points to the white leather office chair. ‘Why don’t you check out your seat, see if it’s comfortable, and I’ll go through some of your upcoming appointments for this week, then we can go to the café and get some coffee. Does that sound like a plan?’
I already like Hallie. ‘That sounds perfect.’
‘Okay, so you have an online diary. The computer is already turned on, so if you wiggle the mouse you should be able to see your appointments. Have you managed to study our packages and the prices?’
‘Yes, I spent last week reading everything that was sent to me.’
Hallie smiles and plays with the end of her honey-streaked blonde ponytail while standing behind me. ‘Great, so click into tomorrow.’
I click. ‘Ben and Alice at ten a.m. and Theo and Madison at two p.m.’
