Page 17 of My Husband's Wife
Why the hell am I going to Madison’s salon? A gust carries my hair upwards. I also know she’s going to spot the small bald patch at the nape of my neck. I’ve tried not to pluck any more hair from that part since I booked the appointment, but I haven’t succeeded in keeping my nervous fingers away from the ever-growing patch.
Pulling my phone out, I take a moody photo of the sea with Freddie’s cute face in the foreground, then upload it to my Instagram. Everyone loves Freddie. He receives a lot of adoration online. I then send Zach a message, telling him I love him and that we’re having cottage pie for dinner tonight. Zach and Caiden love my cottage pie. It used to be Hugo’s favourite too. Freddie barks at me and I can tell he wants to play ball, but I don’t have time this morning.
My phone rings again. It’s Mum. I know she wants to talk to me, but I have more pressing things to do like getting my hair cut and investigating Madison’s husband-to-be. I have to hurry back to the car if I’m to make my appointment on time. I’ve already checked the route and at this time of the day, it’ll take me no longer than twenty minutes but I have to drop Freddie home first. Hurrying back over the rocks, I jump onto sand where I burst into a light jog with Freddie, leaving the beach and rockpools behind.
Before I know it, Freddie is settled in his basket and I’m on my way to Madison’s salon. As I drive out the other end of Ilfracombe, SatNav tells me to take a right. A row of mostly white terraced houses leads to several large detached bungalows. Then a little further down, I spot the soft pink and white bungalow with its scalloped canopy highlighting the main entrance. The huge sign on the building tells me I’ve reached Madison AveNew. I have to do something I haven’t done in years: parallel park. After driving up the narrow kerb opposite three times, I eventually manage to park. My hands are so shaky, I’m surprised I managed to get my car into the tiny gap.
As I walk across the road, I look through the huge bay window to the left of the entrance. There are three chairs in a row, two are already occupied. The woman wearing the full head of foils glances at me over her Kindle. The other woman is chatting away to the hairdresser. I’m almost taken aback at how beautiful the interior is. The baby blue, lemon and pale pink colours are captivating. All the surfaces are cream and have the fifties vibe I saw in the photo, but the salon looks much grander and prettier in real life. I glance through the other window and see the nail bar and a door leading to a treatment room. On a normal day, I’d be excited about going to a salon like this to be beautified, but right now, my stomach is doing somersaults and my body is itching for me to get back into my car and drive away. I reach for the back of my head and grip a strand of hair, then I let go. Stop it, stop it. If I say that in my head enough times, I might just listen to myself.
I can’t see Madison. As I push the lemon-coloured door open, I’m greeted by a girl who looks to be about eighteen; she has sleek dark hair that is partly shaved on one side. She gives me a huge smile, and I can see from her badge that she’s called Orla. I quickly explain who I am, and she takes me to a couch.
‘Can I get you a drink?’
There’s no way I can stomach anything. ‘No, thank you.’
‘Madison is out around the back so we’ll get you sorted in a minute. You’ve come for a cut, is that right?’
I nod. ‘Yes, a dry cut, thank you.’
I know my hair could do with a fresh colour running through it. It’s naturally more of a light brown but I always go blonde. Money is tight with the house purchase and I haven’t been paid yet, so I’m going to get a bottle dye to do at home. I try to swallow and I can’t. My underarms are prickling and I know I’m beginning to perspire. The wait is making me tetchy so I scroll through Instagram. Nicole has posted a photo of a garden that she’s landscaping, so I click like and comment, saying how amazing it looks. She instantly drops a heart on my comment and replies with a smiley face. I’ve been here for two minutes, that’s all, and I don’t even know what I’m going to say to Madison. I can’t tell her I think her husband-to-be is my dead husband; I need to carefully tease something out of her. How? I’m not a detective. It no longer sounds like a good idea to be here. What the hell was I thinking when I booked the appointment? I can’t get Theo out of my head. His mole, his nose, his voice, his face; the way he used to touch me and tell me he loved me – why? Because he’s Hugo.
‘Eva, it’s so lovely to see you again.’
My heart feels as though it’s about to eject itself from my mouth, I flinch that hard. I place a hand on my chest and smile. ‘Sorry, I was in a world of my own. You made me jump.’
‘I have that effect on people. Sometimes my lovely staff have to tell me to keep the volume down, but it’s noisy here when the hairdryers are on the go so I tend to be loud. Come with me, let’s get you seated.’
She leads me to the third chair, the one at the back of the salon next to the sink and a door that says Staff Only on it. Madison must have come from the treatment room. I glance back and see a woman about my age, with high-definition brows, paying at the till.
‘What can we do for you today? I think we have you down for a trim, is that right?’
I nod. ‘Yes, thank you.’
She drapes the pink cape over me then expertly lifts my hair as she ties it behind my neck in one swift move.
‘Once again, I’m really sorry about letting you down but we had to take the other venue when the cancellation came up.’ Her frown is reflected in the huge lit-up mirror. She looks sincere. Her red curls are clipped up stylishly, like she should be on the cover of a magazine. I normally make an effort with my make-up and hair, but today I feel drab. I can’t stop looking at her, drinking her in and wondering if Theo is really my Hugo. Seeing her makes me feel betrayed. I take a deep breath. None of this is her fault because Hugo is meant to be dead. ‘Are we okay?’ she asks.
‘Yes, the Sea Horse are okay with it. It’s in your contract that you can cancel when you did, so all is fine.’ I let out a nervous laugh and wonder if she can hear the shakiness in my voice. If I could sum up my life in a line, it would be, I’m fine. ‘I remembered I had your card and I needed a trim so I thought, why not book in with Madison. So just a trim, please, keeping the layers and I think I’d like a fringe, but not too short.’ I had a fringe when I was married to Hugo. I suddenly feel a little off with myself for requesting that Madison cuts me one. Am I trying to become the woman Hugo fell in love with back then or is this fringe for me?
She tilts her head and smiles. ‘Fabulous, a fringe will really suit you.’
As she starts combing and spraying water in my hair we carry on making small talk. She talks about her baby keeping her up all night, and I talk about Caiden and Freddie. In my mind, I hope she mentions all this to Theo when she gets home. The first thing he’d ask me when I got home back then was, how’s your day been? She then mentions the weather. I interject, knowing a chat about the upcoming rain will just eat into my precious time. ‘You said you might be moving when we spoke. That’s sad considering I’ve only just found somewhere to have my hair done.’
‘It was a huge decision but after the wedding, Theo wants to move to Scotland. He said that was his dream.’
I want to say the Scottish lochs but she beats me to it.
‘We’re looking at houses near Loch Ness actually. We feel it would be good for the little one. It’s big progress for Theo. He’s been doing so well getting out and about, and I no longer feel as though we’re stuck here.
‘I have a buyer lined up for the salon. She’s a brilliant hairdresser so I know you’ll be in expert hands.’ Madison laughs as she snips away but I can tell there is something underneath that laugh, sadness maybe. A wave of nausea passes through me. As she continues speaking, her voice is competing with the sound of my banging heart. ‘She’s been trying to buy my salon for years so she’s more than good for the place.’ Her smile has now all but gone.
I’m left in no doubt that she is marrying Hugo. Before he died, we talked long and hard about a move. I hadn’t been sure but he’d tried so hard to convince me. My hands are sweaty so I unclench them but now they’re shaking. We’d been on holiday up there in the winter after seeing a cute cabin to rent. It had been cold and I felt lonely when he went off walking all day on his own. I remember we argued on that holiday, about how easily he got distracted and sometimes forgot about me and Caiden. The hours spent alone had been long and lonely. The memory is vivid, as if I’m back there and I suppress the urge to cry like I had cried back then.
‘Well, what do you think?’
Where did the time go? I got lost in my thoughts and I’ve barely asked anything. Gazing at my reflection, I see myself as I looked several years ago. ‘I love it. Thank you.’
‘Anything else?’
