Page 39 of My Husband's Wife
‘I don’t know, all the time.’ Madison begins to breathe like she was shown in antenatal class, to ease the contractions. It does little to help. In fact, nothing helps. The midwife is annoying her and the so-called antenatal expert was a liar. Every position is painful. She’s been on all fours, standing at the side of the bed, hunched over, on her back, walking – nothing helps. ‘I feel like I need to push but I can’t. Theo needs to be here. I can’t do this without him.’
‘Look at me, Madison.’ Camille leans over and strokes her hair. ‘That baby will not wait for anyone. That baby doesn’t care that you had a busy day of doing hair so that everyone would look great for their New Year’s Eve parties. That baby doesn’t care where Theo is. She just wants to come out and meet her amazing mother, and Aunt Camille, of course.’
Madison grips Camille’s hand. ‘We can do it, can’t we?’ She needs her sister’s reassurance. Her sister has been through this twice already when giving birth to Madison’s gorgeous niece and nephew.
‘We can. Sisters rule!’
They always said that growing up and their parents used to laugh. She is also annoyed that their mum and dad are on holiday in Lanzarote; but they’d get to meet Emily soon. The midwife finishes examining her. ‘Your sister’s right and this baby is ready to come out.’
She pushes, over and over again. Screaming, panting, sucking on gas and air – it is happening without Theo. He has let her down. Tears stream down her face as she hears the word crowning come from either her sister or the midwife. Everything is a blur. The pushing and pain feels like it will never end. All she wants to do is sleep with her beautiful baby next to her.
‘Oh, my goodness, Maddie. I can see her gorgeous little head.’
It doesn’t feel little, she wants to yell but she can’t because it’s happening again, so she keeps pushing with what little energy she has left. It has taken approximately four hours from waters breaking to almost having her baby, and Theo hasn’t even looked at his messages or responded to her calls. Anger fuels her as she pushes one more time and within a few seconds, she hears the first cry of her baby before the placenta follows after more pushing.
‘You have a beautiful baby girl,’ the midwife says as she passes the wriggling baby to Madison.
Camille starts crying. ‘She’s so precious. She’s amazing, Madison. She’s bloody perfect and you, you’re amazing too.’
‘Can you cut the cord?’ Madison asks Camille. That was meant to be Theo’s job but still, she is aware he’s let her down.
‘It would be my honour, sis.’
Theo or no Theo, she finally has her baby and she’s so high right now, she laughs and cries at the same time, while her little one is being weighed, cleaned and wrapped in a blanket.
‘My baby.’ She can’t stop saying those words repeatedly. She never thought she’d say them and she feels this instant rush of love that people speak about.
‘Your baby,’ Camille repeats. ‘Look at those scrumptious little fingers and her blue eyes. They’re just like yours, like ours.’
‘I love her so much. How is it possible to feel so much love?’ Madison bursts into tears. She’s a mother and this is her baby daughter, the little peanut that grew inside her for eight and a half months. She holds her baby to her chest, offering the little one a breast, and the baby struggles to latch on. ‘She needs to feed. Why won’t she feed?’
‘It’s okay.’ The midwife hurries over and helps Madison to adjust her position then the little one takes Madison’s breast in her mouth and begins to suckle.
Madison weeps tears of joy but the beaming smile on her face is tainted by the fact that Theo isn’t here.
‘What are you going to call her?’ Camille asks as the midwife works around them to tidy up the delivery room and make notes.
Theo barges in. ‘I’m so sorry, Maddie. I was filming in the woods with my phone on silent. I’m such an idiot.’ He stares. ‘I missed it. I’m so upset I missed her being born.’
How can she stay angry at him? She takes in his windswept hair and rain-dashed glasses. That’s how he always looks when he’s been outside filming the wildlife. He often goes out for hours and his phone barely gets a signal out there.
He throws his coat on top of Camille’s and kisses Madison’s head before leaning down to kiss their feeding newborn. ‘She’s perfect, Madison.’ His phone beeps twice. He frowns as he reads the messages before shoving the phone in his pocket.
‘Don’t keep me in suspense, guys. What are you going to call her?’ Camille asks again.
They had decided to name her after Theo’s sister who died when she was a baby. ‘Emily,’ Theo and Madison say at the same time. ‘Emily,’ Madison repeats because it felt so good to keep saying her name.
Thirty-Two
Theo collapses the pram and wedges it into the boot. Spring has emerged from nowhere and Madison loves the cottage when the daffodils begin to grow. They cheer up its creepy exterior, almost making it look pretty. As always, the birds squawk in the woodland that surrounds them but that doesn’t wake Emily. Madison strokes her soft baby hair as she places her in the car seat and straps her in. Emily has a round face and a dimple in her chin, like her. Her heart hums when she sees their baby changing every day. She grieves for yesterday’s Emily but is excited to see future Emily. Why do babies have to grow so fast?
‘Right, let’s do this,’ Theo says as he gets into the car. She appreciates the effort he’s making lately. He’s going out more and is even speaking about them going on holiday again, which excites Madison as she keeps dreaming of having a honeymoon in Loch Ness or should she say, a familymoon. His setback in December was nothing more than that. They are back on track and she couldn’t be happier. His phone beeps.
‘Are you going to see who that is?’
‘Nope,’ he replies as it beeps again.
He ignores his phone a lot, which is worrying. Madison fears he might be missing out on work and, with a new baby, they need all the money they can get, which is why Madison is already back at the salon a couple of days a week. She also wonders if the messages are work related. He looks anxious every time his phone beeps.
