Page 30 of Afterglow
“I’m not, I’m just surprised.”
“I don’t know. I’ve been bought drinks or hooked up with people?—”
My heart plops to my stomach and swirls around.
“But you know, never a date-date. No one’s ever asked to take me out for dinner, or brought me flowers, or anything like that. It’s kinda sad being perpetually single, but then again…maybe it’s for the best. I could never keep up with all the expectations of any relationships and at least this way I didn’t hurt anyone but myself.”
What a goddamn shame. She deserves a room full of flowers. Endless meals she doesn’t have to pay for. Someone to wait on her, hand and foot. Someone to worship her. I wish it could be me.
“It’s not much solace, but I’ve never been on a date before either.”
“Seriously?”
Social anxiety isn’t really conducive to flirting.
“I’m not good in social situations most of the time. It makes me so anxious to go to a crowded place and make small talk. Especially with women.” My shoulders tense, then drop. “It never seems right, always forced and like…like they want something from me that I can’t give them. And also there’s fear that whatever I have to offer, they’re not interested.” I’mspouting nonsensical rambles instead of being able to admit that she’s the only woman I’ve wanted since I was twenty-two. “Sorry, I have no idea what I’m saying.”
“No, I get it,” she says, tilting her head in my direction. “And I hate to break it to you, but…I’m a woman, and you talk to me.”
“That’s different.” ‘Cause I’m obsessed with you in an unhealthy way. And you still make me nervous as hell. “It’s easy with you,” I admit, and it feels like a weight dropped from my shoulders. You’re all I want.
A light gleams in Behraz’s eyes. “Maybeweshould go on a date.”
My face heats. “What?”
“Not romantically, just…as friends. It’s the least I can do.” She hands over the empty bowl of popcorn. “You let me stay here, drive me around. At least this way, you get something out of me being here, too.”
Her being here is everything to me.
Bea nods in confirmation to herself. “Then, when you go on a real date, you’ll know what to do.”
A real date? What makes her think I wanna go on a date with anyone else but her? And why can’t I just say that?
Her phone rings out, the timer signaling her break is over. “Okay, back to studying.”
“See ya.”
“Don’t for a second think you’re off the hook, Mister.” She waves a finger at me. “I’ll be back in thirty minutes. Think of some date ideas and we’ll discuss.”
Before I can protest, her bedroom door slams shut.
Fuck me, I’m gonna be practice-dating Behraz Irani.
“Fletcher?” Behraz calls from across the apartment a couple of hours later. “Could you come in here?”
I approach her bedroom door, my steps quiet and tentative. I point. “In there? In your bedroom?”
“Yes, you silly goose. Sit right here.” She pats a spot on her bed next to where she sits against the headboard. “I need help with this crossword. I’m trying to be good and finish.”
Oh, my mind is filthy. Incorrigible.
“C’mon, hurry up,” Behraz demands. “What, have you never sat on a girl’s bed before?”
I’ve never sat on a girl’s bed before. At least, not a girl who wasn’t my sister.
“Oh, my God. You’ve never sat on a girl’s bed before.”
There’s a warmth crawling up my chest, ready to turn into an embarrassing blush. Goddamnit.
