Page 40 of Blood Moon
We continued that way, in a haze of unforeseen realization that something had changed between us. A split in the ether. He fixed a strand of my hair, brushed his thumb against my bottom lip, and I let him. How baffling of me.
It was as if we were seeing each other for the first time, and it took someone pulling me out of the closet and into a sea of people to simply move again.
CHAPTER22
Adrift in you, I find solace.
Article VII, Lost Letters from Aadan the First
My head spun. A blur of color as I shuffled past bodies. There was a frantic need to flee, to find an empty space so I could sulk over what I’d done, over how I’d let myself become so full ofwanting.
I charged through a door at the back of the house, walking onto a wooden deck that was dimly lit by strings of small, twinkling lights. The night was tranquil and inviting, with no one here but me. Beyond the porch was a fenced-in backyard that separated it from the neighboring houses, and I could hear a distorted version of the music that came from inside.
A cool breeze wrapped around me, brushed through my hair, caressed at my shoulder. It reminded me of him, and I held my hands to my face in mortification.You hate him,I declared.You hate him. You hate him. You hate him.
And I did.I do.
But when the door to the house opened and Julian appeared on the other side, I collapsed. He came forward in quick strides; the air caught in the back of my throat. There was no time to do, or think, or question anything. We could onlybein this moment.
He raised me up, and I locked my legs around him. The world cracked beneath us: a rabbit hole we’d sunken into. In every way, this was wrong. In every way, this would end violently, but giving in never felt so satisfying. We found ourselves crawling deeper into the pit we’d made, inching into an unforgiving darkness.
My hair flipped, creating a veil around us. I held his face beneath the slope of his ears, and when I kissed Julian, I was not gentle. I was feverish. Impatient. A fiery mess.
Julian’s grasp tightened around my waist, fingers at my hips, the low of my back, my thighs. He was wanting and greedy and didn’t understand how his marks stained me.
He kissed me like he was trying to create a dent in the universe, like he was trying to memorize the way I tasted for years after this, like he ached for me as much as I ached for him.
My body curved into the center of him; we fit together so perfectly. It was agonizing. An ecstasy seeped into my veins, burning the marrow in my bones. I was so frustrated by my behavior, only I couldn’t reconcile with morality. Not now.
Another kiss, and it was so deep, I forgot whose air I was breathing. I could only feel the thud of my chest pounding against his as he grabbed at me tenderly, longingly. Could only feel my head spinning into oblivion as he steadied me like an anchor in the waves, unmoving.
But this was Julian. Julian, whom I hated.
And perhaps he was reminded of this vow, too, because we broke away from each other. When he put me down, he pressed his thumbs into my cheeks, kissed me one last time before he let go.
“That was on my own accord,” he said, still close to me. “No oath. No one telling me what to do. No game. This is me, starting with the truth,” he said, and it was different than any of the apologies he’d tried tossing in my direction. Permanent enough that it caused a lump to form at the base of my throat.
He left me under the clouds and starlight, my hand raised to my mouth in astonishment. As I walked back into the house, I could still taste him on my lips, sticky like honey. A devilish thought, I knew, but I wanted so much more of it. Because what we were in the twilight was simple. And what we were in this crammed house was anything but.
My friends found me as soon as I entered the living room.
“Mira!” Stevie sang. “We were looking for you everywhere.” She glanced past my shoulder toward the hallway I’d come from and then back to me. A devious smile appeared on her face. “I’ll ask later,” she said, and she handed me a small plastic cup filled with something. “Cheers to a day filled with some of my favorite people,” she said, and we threw the drinks back.
Naomi swooped in after, placed her hands on my shoulders. “Love triangle,” she whispered.
“I’m not in love with anyone,” I said, and despite my feelings of confusion, I knew that was true.
Naomi smirked and then skipped away from me. “We’ll see!” she shouted.
When I turned back around, Stevie gave me a look. “What was that about?”
“She thinks I’m in love with two boys.”
“And are you?”
“Absolutely not.”
She searched my face with a quizzical expression, grabbed my hand, and pulled me through the crowd. “I think it’s officially ‘later.’”
