Page 82 of Blood Moon
“What, you don’t believe me?”
“I don’t know what to believe anymore.”
His lips were gentle by my ear as we rocked. “I wouldn’t lie about that. You are so much more than just beautiful, Mirabella. It’severythingthat you are. Not just today, not just this moment with you, under these lights, dressed up. It’s a truth I’ve known since the moment I saw you … and even that is an understatement.”
I wobbled slightly, trying to control my breathing. How was I supposed to digest a sentence like that? The vibration of it rocked my skull, causing a swell of desire … It disgusted me. I couldn’t surrender. I wouldn’t.
Julian exhaled and murmured into my hair. “You’re mad at me,” he said when I didn’t respond.
“I’m surprised you noticed.”
“Trust me.” He laughed gently. “I’m not the oblivious one here.”
I rolled my eyes. “Bite me.”
His lips brushed my earlobe. “Onlyifyou ask nicely.”
I scoffed, snapping at the bit, and turned to face him. “Do you think this is funny, Julian? Do you think my life hasn’t been uprooted by the information you shared with me?” My voice split. “And then you left like nothing mattered.”
“Mira, you don’t—” He took a long, hard breath. “It kills me that I couldn’t talk to you. That I had to leave without telling you. It wasn’t my intention, and I’m trying to be human here, but my hands are tied. I had no choice in the matter.”
“By what?”Was it her? Was she doing this to him?
“By everything. By what’s expected of me. I’m drowning just standing here beside you. I’m sorry for who I was yesterday. You didn’t deserve that, and in all honesty, I had no idea it would affect you like it did.”
It hurt hearing how he didn’t think he’d have an influence on me. Did I mean so little to him? Maybe I did. We were new friends, two bodies of uncertainty orbiting around each other in a mess of confusion. “Why would you think that, Julian?”
“Because you’re here tonight, on a date with Seven,” he reminded, and it hit me in the gut.
“That’s low,” I said, knowing it was true.
“Is it? It’s a fact, Mira. Did you think I wouldn’t care?” he said, and I looked away from him as we turned, tongue sticking to the roof of my mouth.
When Seven asked me to homecoming, Julian and I were barely amicable, most of our interactions being so back and forth. It wasn’t until I saw the way his face faded into a bleakness when I told him that I realized he cared.
“Do Iscareyou?” he asked when I didn’t say anything. “Is that why you don’t want to look me in the eye?”
“There have been other things that have scared me, Julian—none of which have been you.”
“Other things besides a monster?”
“Stop,” I said seriously, narrowing in on him now. “You’re not a monster.”
“You don’t know that.” He looked out the long windows, into the night. “It is innate. People like me don’t get happy endings,” he said, and it just about broke me.
“That’s not true. Nothing is holding you back from a life of happiness. You’re doing that all on your own,” I said, and I wanted to scream it, wanted him to feel every word I said until it scorched his skin, but I didn’t. Julian wasn’t a beast. He was inexplicable, sure, but there was humanity in him. He was trying. How could he not know?
Though, I supposed different eyes saw different things.
“I know,” he uttered. Julian spun me away from him, dipping me as the song came to a close. He scooped me back to him, his face flushed, fear in his eyes. “Mira, your necklace, where is it?”
I touched my neck reactively, then again in panic. “I must have left it in my dorm,” I whispered, trying to pull back the memory. I’d had every intention on wearing it, only I’d forgotten to clamp it back in place after dressing.
“Of all nights …” he said, eyes wide as he scanned the room. “We have to leave.”
“Julian,” I bit out, and he held onto my arms, keeping me close to him.
“Come with me, Mira.Please.I could keep you safe. They’re all afraid of me.”
